About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

THURSDAY 10/4/12


A steam punk thingy....

My wife when I mention that something she prepared is either over or under cooked.....

This is the way my friend, Mel, looks every time he bluffs in a poker game.....every time.....

This is what I look like when Mel begins his inevitable post-game whining...

Mel also likes to leave comments about mistakes in my blog. I would make fun of him but I know he means well...

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.



If atheism is a faith, then not playing chess is a hobby.



I was out in my back yard and I heard a voice say, "Hey, fatso, where'd you get that beer gut?"
I looked up in the tree and there was a bird.......a mockingbird.



Next time you're disappointed, just say that was about as cool as a honeymoon handjob.



Have you ever known anyone to slip on a banana peel?
I, nor anyone I know, has. So, let's move one.



Let's do this one again.....

How can a rabbit outrun a fox?
The fox is running for his supper.
The rabbit is running for his life.

My wife asked me how they got the prescription bottle to run through the printer.



You might want to read this if you can't figure it out....

Norm 100 years ago.
Imagine what it will be like in another 100.


I didn't get this at first....
I had to go to the comment section to discover the pages of the bible make excellent rolling paper. 


Chinese Proverb: The eye is not made to think.



I have suggested that my father killed himself, but it's just as accurate to say that he died gardening.



How fucking terrifying is this....
That's why they say, There is no such thing as too much ammo.

Two examples of people taking a few minutes of their day to amuse you and me. I salute them.....

There's a camel "toe" truck joke in here someplace....

Well played, sir, well played....

Hello, beautiful. Come here often?

This is what I see when I look at a clogged interstate at rush hour....

??????

Magnificent!
I could hardly keep my eyes off that.
I would have cut it out of the fence and framed it...I mean that.

Plastic bottles...
I watched a video where people used a pencil to jam non-food trash into empty bottles. Then the bottle were built into walls for an excellent insolation.

A wall with used cell phones hammered to it.
I don't know why....because they could, I guess....

I hate it when I'm drinking and somebody tries to correct my Vodkabulary.


This scene was ad lib....

M.L. King didn't get famous by sitting on his ass and keeping his mouth shut.
That was Rosa Parks.


U.S.A! U.S.A!

Martin Bormann: Every educated person is a future enemy.


Creationist's logic applied to other problems...

Let's revisit these assholes again....

The poor animals are repeatedly attacked by lancers on horseback until they (the organizers) deem the beast just able to hold it's head up....

And the horses have to be blindfolded because...well....horses aren't stupid....
As many horse die as bulls.

By the time the merciful death comes, they are so weak they can barely stand. There are cases where the bull just lays down to die before the matador does his artistry....

So, again, fuck these bastards....




How weird is it that grown people (mostly men) were so concerned about something that they knew could not be avoided....

Love the wine you're with.



The amount of radians in a circle is two damn pi.



If you stare at the plus sign long enough the dots disappear. I'm wondering why. Our brain does this for a reason...it, somehow, is advantageous. 

This is what I imagine the inside of my computer looks like....

If god is real, why don't witches float?



If you don't get this, it's okay...it really is......
(I found that very, very funny)

I remember the terrifying day I understood the "rock a bye baby in a tree top" lyrics and realized it was an option that I had no control over.




His shortest short story....

This is what I think people look like who play "Gotcha" in comments when they find small mistakes on line....
And, further, I don't think they have any idea how hard it is to put this shit together every day.


Remember when you could jack off to a still photograph?


Indeed!

Occasionally I run into things with my car.
Do sue me.


Speaking of female bodies....

Just watched my dog chase its tail for five minutes and thought, "Wow! Dogs are so easily entertained."
Then I realized that I had just watched a dog chase its tail for five minutes.



Moons of Mars.....
I found out that for a heavenly (?) body to have enough gravity to become spherical, it has to be about 500 miles across.

If I had to pick three words to describe myself, they would be "I suck at math".

How interesting....

Instead of degrading women, I think we should upgrade them. I'm talking upgrading to bigger boobs, more sex drive, lasers and...a boob right in the middle of their backs for dancing.



The notion that information can be controlled is obsolete.



Some people have boundaries, apparently.
(read that again)



TRUE: They found a jar of marijuana in a tomb that dates back 2,700 years.



This is what I look like when my wife tells me she bought another car without me first seeing it....
TRUE.


1 comment:

Jambe said...

"If you stare at the plus sign long enough the dots disappear. I'm wondering why. Our brain does this for a reason...it, somehow, is advantageous."

Or it could be a massive disadvantage, like our appendixes (appendices?). This illusion may have some evolutionary purpose, but it could also be a purposeless, accidental byproduct of vision systems. btw, that specific image was originally an animated gif illusion in which a moving blank space is filled in with a green dot when you focus on certain locations.

Many biological curiosities have no apparent purpose; see the wiki articles on vestigiality and maladaption. See also Beau Lotto's TED Talk about the evolutionary underpinnings of optical illusions.

On a related note, some have postulated that many animals evolved the tendency to assume purpose or intervention in situations where neither may exist as a survival mechanism. e.g. we'll get scared by an unknown sound in the dark regardless of whether any danger is present because the cost of being frequently scared by nothing is worth the benefit of infrequently detecting a predator. Taken further, this explains why we assume there's "a reason" behind optical illusions (and countless other phenomena) when there often isn't any "reason" at all. Notably, it'd explain why we assume something (usually "god") created the universe when no creator is apparent.

I love optical illusions. The wiki article on the topic is great, and the "See also" section is full of neat shit.

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