MONDAY #1487

These are two of my favorite people.

On Saturday for the first time, I went to the highlands games where they throw telephone poles and just about anything else you can think to throw.
This is a photo of Adriane I got online...

She tied her world record in the Sheaf Toss and almost broke it. The Sheaf Toss is where you take a three-pronged pitch fork and use it to toss a rope filled burlap bag over a bar about half a fucking mile in the air.
Here's an example...

This is Adriane doing it Saturday...

A good time was had by all. 

(it just dawned on me that the pitchfork is called a pitchfork because it was used to pitch hay and shit up into the loft)

I learned that these games haven't changed in thousands of years. Each event has some "common" counterpoint on the farm or in battle. No synchronized swimming here...naaaaaay, lad, naaaaaay.


With the unchanging in mind, I present the hammer throw. It is done backwards from a standing position...

 They wear spikes, which they bury into the ground, on the toe of their feet to keep from falling over upon release...

I questioned (as is my annoying habit) if the ancients wore the same spikes and no one could tell me. Oh, well.

I've read about some interesting universe research lately. One involves that darker blue area in the lower right...the triangle one.

You and I will never build anything that lasts as long as this...

One of those fucking days...

I had almost forgotten about the good old buzz fuck...

We all need hobbies, don't we...

You know it's gonna be a good poop when you get naked for it.


Natural....hell, yeah....

Me peeking in on my wife when I hear her baby dinosaur noises coming out of the bathroom...

We would be fucked up if Jamaicans turned into zombies.
(you sports fans will get that)

This is why they invented "Side Saddle"...

TRUE:
A study of the average distance a player runs in sports:

Soccer…9.5

Tennis…2 miles

Football…only 11 minutes of action so very difficult to calculate.

Baseball…(this is verbatim)

"Nobody measures how far baseball players are running, because nobody cares and the answers would likely just be embarrassing."

What would you do if you saw a man walking a dog and the dog showed obvious signs of discomfort from some awkward footwear?
I would assume you would at least say something or maybe even attempt to remove the footwear and relieve the dog; or at least call animal control.
Have you ever seen a woman walk in her front door, take off her high-heels with a long sigh and then start massaging her achy feet? I have.
I've also seen women do the same thing with bras, but that's a story for another day.

It's clear to me that women are torturing themselves for something. 
I know female Americans are not alone in their obsession with hideous footwear, the dictates of which are too costly, harmful or downright dangerous.

As gross as the above images were, it only varies by degrees what high heels do to American women...

My questions is: What is women's motivation? Why is she so compelled to undergo these ordeals?

If her job demands it, why doesn't OSHA get involved?
I opine that most of us are still, long after middle school...

...such slaves to peer pressure that we will buy anything that our groupthink demands...whether it is painful or not...think of the men loosening their ties as soon as they hit the sidewalk, usually accompanied by a sigh.
Think of some people, (some times poor people), who spend hundreds of dollars for their fad footwear that is no better than cheaper brands...but that's a story for another day, also...

 All I ask if for you to think, and following a painful directive from your groupthink is mindlessness and I think you are better than that.
I'm not the only one who has seen the madness....

Think about two staffs of workers. One wearing the shoes on the left and one wearing the shoes on the right. Which one do you think would perform better...honestly...

And any arguments of other people wearing ridiculous footwear is not germane.

 This actor wore these shoes to create an illusion. He, at least, had a reason.

 This child is trying to create an illusion of being littler than air...floating, if you will. She does it for art. That is her motivation.

You "normal" ladies need to ask yourself, what is your motivation?
What illusion are you trying to create and what price are you willing to pay?

I have had a reoccurring dream for 40 years. It always involves a house sort of like this one.

It always starts with me taking possession of the house and am being shown around by a real estate agent who explains to me that she has never been through every room. So I get separated from her and my wife and get lost in this humongous house and have to explore alone; finding unbelievable rooms.

There's an old saying: Men and women are equal until he gets a cold...

Old photos combined with modern views.

I like those vey much.

I can only assume these are illegal...

Another reason to oppose capital punishment. Mistakes have been and will be made.

I think some people are born gay. Some choose gayness. Others have gayness thrust upon them.

I can remember when I woke up with morning wood and would announce it to my wife with this sound...

I'm a godfather. That's a great thing to be. He calls me god for short. I taught him that.


"Okay, don't fuck this up..."

Money can’t buy happiness, but I’d much rather cry in the arms of a thousand dollar hooker.

One of my very own...

How very, very sad...

Snake handlers demonstrating their faith are the only true Christians in my book....

They say that snakes smell like the tears of Jesus.

What some people will do for a smoke break...

Some people just don't have the courage to smoke...

If your friends chastise you for being weird, get new fucking friends.

This image needs a caption more than any I've seen in a long time...

Why do we all press the buttons harder when the batteries are running low?


I know Joy Division was a rock band, but I still don't get this...

French resistance fighter smiles during his execution...

Said to be true...

Here's an enlargement of the above...

This is the title of an article I read to explain how the super rich get richer.

Of course they buy the government, but this article says that they buy it not so much to influence it, but for information. Remember, these people are placing bets on whether the stock market will go up or go down (investing in nothing). The slightest tidbit (a government announcement that unemployment takes a spike up or down) will cause the market to gain points or lose points. They know beforehand the information that the government is going to announce at a later date so all their bets pay off. And remember, congress (by law) is allowed to fuck the rest of us this way.
Brilliant, but oh, so evil.

Then there are the elections.
This is a talk on Ted.com that I found most disturbing...

 Here's one of his little tidbits that will boil your blood...

(that's .000042% of the population)
This is well worth your time...15 minutes...wait until you get off the toilet...
>>>>> CLICK HERE FOR TED TALK <<<<<

This my wife when I remind her of just about anything...

The way people live is driving them crazy and their insanity comes out in the way they drive.

Answering your cell phone when you don't recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Loafers...

Could anybody on earth be as stupid as this guy?
Let's see what the internet has to say....

But let's not kid ourselves, the smallest of nuclear weapons would be awful...

"You say you have a right to own a gun, well I say I have a right not to be shot."
Then take some responsibility for your own safety and shot back, you idiot!

I like this show...

She may know... 

But this motherfucker made a head shot from a hundred yards this way...

The strike party...

If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be much easier for you.

This is a quote from an old man who survived D-Day:

"You are 20 years old, you have been in combat for 72 days, you are 200 miles behind the enemy lines, you have a pocket full of money and you have a pass in Paris…yeah, I guess you could say there was some sinnin’ goin’ on."

"I have never been this high in my life."

   "Can you move?"

"Why? Am I in the way?"

My buddy, Tommy, raised a tiny squirrel. It still sleeps in his workshop.
Last week he had all the pine trees cut out of his back yard and said we should have seen the look on that squirrel's face when if first went outside....

This sentiment sounds so pure....

...until you try and apply it to your own family.
We turn a blind eye when anything is done in the name of national security.

This guy made a unique clock. I doubt very much if he will be able to ship it to anyone else...