About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, August 27, 2016


One Of My Very Own…



The University of Chicago

That you, dean...the voice of sanity.

Got a translation from a loyal viewer...

Are you asking for a translation of her tattoo? It says, I regret nothing. A bold statement by a woman who has not lived long enough to understand regret maybe. I see no point in brooding over the past but what kind of person has no regrets? Either someone far more shallow or far wiser than I.

Was Berry White? Was Clint Black? Was George Strait? Was Marvin Gay? Sure makes Stevie Wonder.


You will never hear about the truly perfect crime.


I have peeked into a women's shower room twice in my life.

And I savor every second of it still.

Now she is showing off, but I will guarantee you that if she did that in a bar, she would never have to buy a drink.

What happens if that breaks? "Cause of death: choked while deepthroating a banana."


The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.


Crossword Clue: Ringing words
_ _ _

This is such a good one that I want you to think about it very carefully. Answer later.


Do you think its leg is injured?

I think they ought to name this the Loraine Bobbett Cockapillar.

Electric eel shocks the life out of an alligator

Think about gene splicing some of that shit in humans so we can charge our own damn phones.

When your friends knows you're making a mistake, but they let it happen so you can break your dry spell.

"So this isn't going on the internet, right?" - Pig, probably.

Big fish with its head in a plastic bag - 1
Humans - 0

Out cold!

When you don't make the cut for National Geographic auditions

If you do something "like a boss," you probably just pay somebody else to do it.



I've mentioned these pricks before. Any time someone crosses them the sue the shit out of them with a legion of lawyers. The little guy never has a chance. And we can all assume they own every member of congress so no oversight is in their future.

Here's a solution: Note #3...

Many of us forget that Syria wasn't some backwater village, but modern cities when the shit hit the fan.

Crossword Clue: Ringing words
I do.

Not to brag, but I go it instantly. The giveaway was the plural "words", which meant it was more than one. Came up with "I" and the rest, as they say, was just a crossword master just showing off.

Is this true?

I am so very proud that I have never done this...

Said to be true: When you get to choose your seat on a flight try to pick the row just before the wings of the plane begin. Plane stability is based on center of gravity so close to the wing will almost always be the smoothest flight.


The washer things twist secure...

Then a cup holder snaps on...

If you have ever been on the beach on a windy day, you know how wonderful that is.

I think you can figure these next two out for yourself.

Ladies, if you keep faking it, he will continue to do it wrong.


But you don't have to research the ancient documents, just read your own bible...

Now remember, you were taught the book was perfect...actually written by god himself.

Do you seriously believe that?

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