tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234783319349274920.post7336612652626044558..comments2024-03-27T21:58:46.972-04:00Comments on FOLIO OLIO: SUNDAY #2578Ralph Henryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05079364726250352589noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234783319349274920.post-58241467951154568602016-01-10T07:10:18.498-05:002016-01-10T07:10:18.498-05:00I have clung to the remnants of my faith for so lo...I have clung to the remnants of my faith for so long now, because there was a time I made a decision to believe and it changed my life, which at the time was pretty desperately in need of changing. Going from being a happily married PTA mom to a homeless crack whore took less than a year. A decision to try to believe in some kind of god was required for the program I went through, so I shrugged my shoulders and tried. That program worked where nothing else had. Whatever it takes. But I left that program many years ago due to their dogma, and more and more I cannot bring myself to identify as a believer in any faith. Today I found an article about the Satanic Temple in Detroit and realized that they are a lot closer to my true beliefs than Christianity ever was, and that shocked me. I am finally forced to concede that I cannot believe in any one faith, in any one god or group of gods. I miss my faith: believing blindly felt safer than thinking. It is comforting to be a sheep in a soft fuzzy herd, and I have ptsd, so feeling safe can be very freaking seductive. But the truth is I don't believe and haven't for a while, and it's time for me to at least tell myself the truth. Doesn't change anything about who I am or what I think is right, I never based that on anything I was told by another person anyway. It is a very lonely feeling right now, to lose my faith. But I just don't believe anymore. Ninja Grrrlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08346471371536815134noreply@blogger.com