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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist who tells people he is a Pastafarian just to fuck with them. And I write. I also gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Saturday, August 17, 2019

SATURDAY #3887 quarters

One Of My Very Own



The earth is actually extremely flat when compared to 99% of spherical objects, Even huge mountain ranges are barely a tiny bump. 

Most detailed ever 3D map of Milky Way shows 'warped' shape Our galaxy is like a distorted disc, study based on Cepheid stars confirms.

*Human* Orthopaedic Plate found inside dead croc's stomach. ID-ing owner: The Good news and Bad news.
 The ortho plate found was, in fact, a type used on humans. But exclusively humans? Short answer: "No".

[verification needed]

The solar system traveling through the galaxy. I promised to post this marvelous graphic every time I ran across it.


Christian Stangl created this awesome video using the official released images and data from the Rosetta mission.
I watched it in complete awe.

RH: Dr. Kelley is my kind of scientist.

I include this first image because it was deemed appropriate to label it: "Artist's rendering."

We all already assumed this, didn't we...

Didn’t let it stop you. I can’t wait to see this shit.

I really hope this loads properly because I loved it.

The data ‘go crazy’ in 1993, because of The X-Files.

And if that had aided him in getting laid more often than one headed turtles eventually they would all have two heads.

Professionally restored WW1 footage.

The science required to do that must be staggering.

ME: What’s the first rule of bite club?
DRACULA: Is it biting?
ME: That’s right, Dracula, it’s biting.

RATTLESNAKE: [quietly to himself] I was gonna say biting.



Here's the set up: You have to fit all the rods of balls inside the triangle.

The balls are connected in these configurations:
OOOO - 2

OOO - 4

I love puzzles and I detest boredom, therefore whenever I get bored I do some sort of puzzle. My preference is crossword and in all modesty, I am rather good at them.
We have a local newspaper that comes out on Wednesday and it includes the previous Sunday's New York Times crossword. I work on it while eating my lunch at my favorite BBQ joint. Well, on Friday I go to my favorite wing joint and I try to see how fast I can fill out that same NYT puzzle that I had already finished. I see no reason to tell the bartender that I had already finished the puzzle and he thinks I'm a superhuman genius.
BTW, my record time is 43 minutes for the NYT Sunday puzzle.

You've had a hard day and you decide to go out for a couple of drinks and this happens...

This guy wanted was to have a couple of beers and chill at home...
 Sad that.
The problem could be solved by marrying a girl with the same hobby.

 Some people think that is fake. Others think he knocked himself out. Either way, I like this version better.

Asian kids...

American kids...

But it might just be bullshit...


 Perhaps it could be bicyclists not wanting to duck.  But that logic is harder to apply to this taller space.
 I've spent countless hours walking trails in the woods, so I understand healthy respect for spiderwebs might be a logical reason, but that wouldn't apply in this case.
And those are not bicycle tracks.  So... what's the reason.  Superstition?

The park made a video showing what could happen if you get out of your car. I can only think that it was very effective.

This is going to be you in about five seconds...

And here's why...

Some people think it's because he's Austrian and not German, but I like to imagine him saying something like "Hey, Y'all, you got any more of them choppers?" in German.


I'm planning a six-foot quarter collector.
This is not it, but still cool.


If you think about it just right, sports is just a reality show. 

"Birds of a feather flock together..."
I only included that due to the title.


 Sex therapist: Try swapping positions tonight.
Me: ok.
Her: Wanna have sex?

Me: No thanks.




Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson sitting in the crowd watching his father about to wrestle, 1984 when he was 11.

And then he went on to become a really, really huge star.

A dear friend of mine used to be the Editorial Page Editor for our state's largest newspaper and as such got invited to many events. On one such occasion, his wife ran out of hairspray so she called a neighbor to borrow some. 
Back then women wore huge "beehive" hairdos that required vast amounts of the hairspray.
Well, the neighbor said she didn't have any because she used melted sugar from a spray bottle that worked just as well and was much cheaper.
So my friend's wife melted the sugar, sprayed it on her hair and was quite happy with it.
The outdoor screwdriver and Bloody Mary event began late morning in the American South so it was hot...real hot. An hour or so into the soiree his wife hooked by up with him and he was horrified to see that her head was covered in every kind of insect you can imagine. 
The sun had melted the sugar turning it into a sticky mess. The sugar attracted all kinds of bugs and the bugs became adhered to the gooey mess.
They, of course, left immediately.





This is supposed to be you know who...
I don't believe it.



My dad left to get a pack of cigarettes 30 years ago and still hasn’t come back. That’s why I never started smoking. I just don’t have the time.




One comma, just one comma changed your sexuality.

 The numbering system is non-positional, so the symbols can be arranged in any order.


The next day she went on a bike ride alone...

 The next day she went on a bike ride alone...

 How very true. The best he could do was to teach the scientific method.

 Faulty assumptions lead to faulty conclusions.



 RH: Got played like a fiddle.

I don't really understand that. Anybody? 



 And that is why you never run on the pool apron.









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