FOLIO OLIO

About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, September 25, 2020

FRIDAY #4293 stories of me

One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL: 
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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YES, I HAVE STORIES


As a Son of the South, I have heard thousands of phrases unique to this area. I once heard a linguist talking about the use of the word "ain't" and said, "If 60 million people use it how wrong can it be?"
^^A1^^

I have worked on several movies doing artwork, signs, etc. I was not once asked how much I charged only "Can you have it ready by Tuesday." Needless to say, movie production companies pay very well.
^^A2^^


A good friend of mine had a black lab that kept getting out of his yard so he changed his 4' chainlink fence to a 6'. That didn't even slow it down. So he changed to a 6' solid wooden privacy wall and by getting a running start at the corner that dog got over easily. So my friend put an electric wire running along the top of the fence and I watched as that dog crawled over the wire being electrocuted the whole time.
^^A3^^



As a public school teacher I have helped supervise dozens of Field Days and each and every time there were students whose strategy to win was to cheat. And the cheaters were always the students whom I thought would cheat.
^^A4^^


While raising young children I think it is important for you to touch and hold gross shit to teach the little ones there is nothing to fear.
^^A5^^


When I stumbled across something genuinely unique I always made up a story as to its origin, etc. Then I encouraged my kids to do the same. While they did so I would ask questions to help them think about enriching details.

^^A6^^

 I totally understand her.
When I was painting murals my hat looked like this...
 ^^A7^^


When painting a mural in a public space there were always people watching us and they saw every mistake we made. Many times when we dropped something off the scaffold the audience would toss it back up to us.
But other times we have moving power equipment and we couldn't have people milling about so we stretch out of yellow Keep Out tape around the site. Once we were refurbishing a mural we had painted decades prior.
While my crew worked off a power lift a huge black man, his wife, and his son ducked under the tape and advanced towards me. I protested but then he held up a tiny #12 NY Jet's jersey and pointed to his portrait on the wall.
With tears in his eyes, he apologized for interrupting but felt he had to introduce his son to the artist who had made him famous.
A good time was had by all.
^^A8^^


I've mentioned before that I'm a bit of a prankster. That ended when I came in the back door and found my wife laying lifeless in the middle of the kitchen floor. In a split second, I decided to jump over her body, call 911, then return to give her what aid I could.
Then she laughed and I demanded that we never do anything like that again. Our prankstertime was over.
^^A9^^

 Oneupsmanship in marriage is nothing new. I once saw Tony Randall in the Odd Couple jump flat-footed from the floor to the top of his desk. I told my first wife that I could do that and proceeded to jump onto the sturdy dining room table.
Then she said she could do the same thing. I told her she could not. She tried and when she swung her arms up at full speed the top of her fingers on both hands struck the underside of the table.


They all began to swell grotesquely even with ice on them.
Oh, did I mention she was a concert pianist?
^^A10^^


As an artist, I notice shit like that constantly.

I notice a whole lot of other shit also. Take this plastic container of paint thinner...do you see anything odd?
 Let me enlarge the part that interests me.

Using my limited skills I have tried to isolate one of the faces - in near profile.

And the other profile is partially hidden by the first face...
I stare at it every time I use my peepipe.
^^A11^^


I minored in ceramics in college. I really loved it.
^^A12^^


Jacqueline Kennedy was still wearing the blood-stained pink suit when she got to the white house in the early morning hours after her husband was shot dead.
A man my father knew ran an auto parts warehouse and when it came time for an inventory he hired me and my friends to count all the millions of parts. I was 16 years old and he was paying much more than minimum wage, therefore my mom let me stay out of school that day. Then the guy called up altogether and told us the Kennedy had just been killed and wanted to know if we wanted to go home. I said that the dead were dead and there wasn't anything we could do about it. So we went back to work. 
^^A13^^

A hooked dolphinfish being chased by a shark.
 This is a dolphinfish.
 When I was about 12 years old my uncles, cousins, my father, brother, and I went deepsea fishing. We all bet $5 on who caught the first fish and another $5 on who caught the biggest fish.
I caught a whopper and it took me forever to real it near the boat then the line went limp and everyone thought it had gotten off the hook. But once I got it on board we discovered that the fish's tail had been bitten off by a shark. I won anyway.
^^A14^^


The angriest I had ever seen my father was when King won the Nobel Peace Prize.
^^A15^^


A principal once called and wanted me to paint a mural in her school. I asked how I could get to her school. She said, "Just go out Highway 378 and turn right at the last flashing yellow light."
I asked, "How will I know it's the last one?"
She said, "Cause there won't be anymore after that."
^^A16^^

This is the first time I've seen a gig as large as mine in action.

Mine is mounted on a display board.

It looks lethal...

And a brass plaque indicates its purpose...
^^17^^

I ran across a crossword puzzle years ago with these clues...

 And here are the two answers...
That was years after I named my blog.
^^18^^


This is a huge mosaic I did for a lobby of a bank. There is water cascading over its face.

And here is the original drawing that I still have in my studio.
^^19^^

I love the absurd.
Wait for it...


^^A20^^


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2020: verb. When you screw things up beyond belief.
Example: Chad’s car hit a pole and knocked out power and, well long story short, he 2020’d, and now a giant squid is destroying the city.

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DID YOU KNOW

The world's most sensitive explosive?

This is nitrogen triiodide (NI3 · NH3), and it's a highly dangerous substance in large amounts, but using a little makes for a great demonstration! As you can see, the slightest touch will cause this highly reactive substance to explode. A feather or a fly could easily set it off!
So what exactly has happened? Nitrogen Triiodide is what we call an adduct, which is almost a compound, but also not. It is highly unstable because the iodine atoms cluster all on one side of the nitrogen due to the position of the nitrogen's electrons. They all push against one another while pulling in towards the nitrogen atom. This, as you can imagine, is pretty tense, and means there's a lot of potential energy stored in each molecule.
So, is nitrogen triiodide actually the most sensitive explosive? Nope! A similar compound, Nitrogen chloride, can cause a similar explosion JUST with exposure to sunlight!
^^C3^^

Boiling water makes rockets spin on this kettle

Trust me when I tell you that is nothing new.

I noticed that that is one big ass stove.

^^C4^^

 ^^C5^^


^^C6^^

The whole embalming, casket, vault, piece of Earth is a fucking scam. You only do it because you've always done it that way - the dumbest of reasons.
^^C7^^

SOURCE: CLICK HERE
^^C8^^

Falcon 9’s thrusters pulsing as the booster heading back to Earth

**IKIARBISW
^^C9^^


SOURCE: CLICK HERE
^^C10^^

 ^^C11^^

 ^^C12^^

Remember this?

I would like to see a long-term study on its effect on depression, etc.
^^C13^^


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I once posted ‘celebrity nip slips’ on Facebook instead of into a search engine.

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THAT WHICH IS SELDOM SEEN


This is an ancient refrigerator (ice pit) called a Yakhchal, created by Persian engineers around 400 BC.

^^D1^^


^^C1^^


Every creature needs recreation. 
^^D2^^

^^D4^^

Sunset changing color

^^D5^^

Try to figure out how the hell they did this...
 Don't give up too soon like me.
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 ^^D6^^

^^D7^^

What a revolutionary invention! 
^^D8^^

 ^^D9^^

I've showered outside at several locations and they were all very special.
^^D10^^

What fun! 
^^D11^^

 .
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Yeah, we've been down this road before.
^^D12^^

This majestic beast is called a "Towns Interstyl Hustler 4 Wood"
(You need to read all of the descriptions)
 Legend has it that this car is the most aerodynamic road car of all time with a drag coefficient 17x better than a trout.
 Legend has it that this car has the highest power to weight ratio of anything in the world that has both power and weight.
 Legend has it that the Towns Interstyl Hustler 4 Wood was the first and only car to complete the entirety of Route 66 on one tank of fuel.
 This is the 6 wheeled variant called the "Towns Interstyl Hustler 6 Wood"... Legend has it that the Towns Interstyl Hustler 6 Wood is the most capable off-road vehicle ever made... It was the first car to climb Everest and the first car to ever drive down the Mariana Trench.
^^D13^^

Read it all...
 ^^D14^^


Hahahabananaha!
^^D15^^

Technology that is nearly as old as agriculture...
^^D16^^

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