About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian, and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019


One Of My Very Own






Yeah, I like that. 


A clever solution to the ascent/descent problem.
I would have made the stairs hinged lids for storage.

I'm thinking that many of you guys are going to try that.

Any wannabe chefs out there?


I went with the microphone. There is, in fact, sound but you can't hear it.

A touchable fire that works by shining orange LED-light on water vapor.


 You’re never too old to set goals. For example, today I’m not going to pee in my pants.



 Looks better than my wife's passport photo.

Life finds a way.

Lights placed on a drone combined with long exposure photography.

I'm thinking they are lasers...which is a light I guess.


Just another way that the Earth has to kill us.

 I for one am not.




On medical forms, I put down Elon Musk as my emergency contact.









They all remind me of Detroit.


I don't want to speculate about the royal baby's name, but I'm pretty sure it will start with #.



Young people today don't seem to be in no hurry to grow up. The "dating class" now extends way up into the thirty and even those are in no hurry to least the ones I know.


Young people face overwhelming obstacles that my generation never had to traverse.

That is capitalism runs amok.

Well, I also take issue with it. 

That precisely matches how I learned to be a good father. I just did the opposite of what my father did to me. Seriously.

I went out on the smoking patio at my bar and a Karen (you know the type) said, "Could you do else?"
I took a deep breath and whispered just loud enough to be heard:
I stopped drinking.
I stopped sniffing glue.
I stopped going to strip clubs.
I stopped gambling with money that I could afford to lose.
I stopped snorting cocaine.
I stopped whoring around with my neighbor's wife.
I stopped stealing office supplies from my job.
I quit selling weed.
I stopped cheating on my taxes.
I stopped calling my wife fat.
I even stopped doing that putting peanut butter on my dick lick trick with my dog.
I only have two vices left...
Smoking....(direct eye contact)....and beating the crap out of people who annoy me.

Note: My wife just admitted that she uses that picture of me to masturbate from time to time.

This could explain everything!
[verification needed]
NOTE: If you come across any additional information on that please email it to me. Thanks.

UPDATE: I later found this on a normally reliable site.
It's a Karenpocalypse!
Seriously, I would like anything and everything you can find on this.


 I went to a birthday party and overheard a couple apologizing for leaving early because their infant could only handle people and noise for a limited amount of time and honestly I’ve never related to anyone more than that baby.



 That is the prick who wants this image removed from the internet.
I would kind of like to meet that man. 


Remember this guy?

A hero of global standing.

Here's a couple of more image of the event you may have missed.

Due to my ear surgery, I am very sensitive to low-frequency sound.
Cars like that leave me with great discomfort.



I strongly recommend that series.


 If you pencil in your eyebrows just right, coworkers will not attempt to talk to you.



 I don't really know anything about Howard Stark but I assume its relevance relies on the same principle as this:




 When your mom checks the security doorbell footage to see if you get home sober and before curfew.
















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