And now one of the most bizarre images I have ever seen....words escape me.

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No matter how cool you think your dog is, it will never be as cool as this turbocharged canine-impregnating son of a bitch...I would name him Sparky.

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This image came with no explanation (which is the rule 99% of the time), but one would have to guess that it has something to do with the floods in Pakistan. I think his Murree is probably getting warm. (TRUE: Murree Beer is the largest selling beer in Pakistan, even though the brewery is burned down by religious zealots from time to time on general principles.)

[I bet you didn't know that]

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TRUE: This is an image of a "vehicle" the police department is selling at auction. *****

Thank you, Mr. Dutch Sign Guy... *****

I know this is silly, but the notion that the sin of schadenfreude would be allowed in heaven amuses me... *****

What is a man?

A real man is a woman’s best friend.

He will never stand here up and never let her

Down. He will assure her when she feels insecure

And comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never

Thought she could do, to live without fear

And forget regret. He will enable her to express

Her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels as though she is

The most beautiful woman in the room and

Will enable her to be the most confident, sexy

Seductive and invincible…..

No wait…I’m sorry….I was thinking if wine.

I’’m sorry, never mind…….

***** If anyone ever comes across one of these old typewriters (THE REGULAR KIND), I will buy it. I don't care if it works or is beat to shit, I want the keys. Let me know.

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MODERN LINGO: Book Google: A dictionary.

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By now you probably know how I feel about veggies, but I came across a statistic the other day that I found interesting. The question arose as to why we (humans) never got around to domesticating and consuming carnivores. Well, here are the approximate facts.

Let's start with 10 pounds of corn or wheat or beans (crop). We could just eat this outright or we could feed it to...say...cows.

Every pound of beef requires 100 pounds of crop. We have all (mostly) agreed to pay this price.

Now let's suppose we wanted to eat...lions. We would have to feed these lions 100 pounds of cow for each 10 pounds of lion meat.

Do the math and you will realize why we refuse to pay this price.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

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Interesting shop.... *****

Now we know what Brett Favre was doing down in Mississippi... *****

I think that Geico has the greatest ad agency the world has ever known. But there was one TV ad that increased the sales of an international company by 25% within the first week of airing (a record not soon broken). Think about that. Of course the ad ran over and over, but a 25% sales increase is extraordinary! And all it did was remind modern women that their mothers and grandmothers put a box of Arm&Hammer Baking Soda in their refrigerator.

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N is for the nooses that Ned and Nancy nuanced. (I made that up)

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JEEEEEEEEZ.... *****

"In the kingdom of consumption the citizen is king. A democratic monarchy: equality before consumption, fraternity in consumption, and freedom through consumption." (Raoul Vaneigem)

"Lower thou gaze, you fool, you are on sacred soil."

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"Welcome to America, bitch."

Speaking of anal....

TRUE: I once had a friend who was so anal, he saved his toe jam in a little jar. When I asked him why he told me that he cleaned his toenails in bed every night after his shower and didn't know what else to do with it.

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An unusual "One of my very own"...

I don't think anyone but my nephew, Bruce, will get this. Leave a comment if you do.

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