FUN WITH LANGUAGE
Remember to smile. Do it now...look around, no matter where you are, and smile.
You might only live once, but if you do it right, then once is enough.
Do not, under any circumstances, take yourself too seriously. You ain't shit.
This billboard was paid for by "Friends of Pluto"....boy, I bet that looks good on a resume.
This next one has to be the stupidest thing I have ever read. Although I really admire those artist that just put stuff around town with no hope of monetary reward. I have chosen a whole nother route.
I have included several "Secret Posts" that I like. One of my favorite saying is that nobody knows what they are doing, some of us just fake it better than others. Basically the same as below...
I came very, very close to death twice in my life. I don't mean almost dying during an operation or something, I mean being wide awake and "knowing" full well that I would soon die. I remember how calm I was. The first time I was bouncing around in a speeding car that was rolling and flipping down a large ditch, and all I could think of was my desire that I die quickly...without all that pain. The next time I was being electrocuted and my only thoughts were how it sucked that my daughters would find their daddy dead in the back yard. And when I say electrocuted, I don't mean shocked...I couldn't let go and it wasn't until I began to get tunnel vision until I could see only one little point that I managed to break away.
Very strange this...
An old classic Bolsheviks style...."Oh, look little Anastasia was only wounded."
Confusing this...
I'm not afraid of flying. I am afraid of being 35,000 feet in the air and, suddenly, not flying.
‘Dammit I’m mad’
is
‘Dammit I’m mad’
spelled backwards.
I do so hope this is true...I like the whole notion...
The importance of proper punctuation...
"Son, I'm going to tell you about the birds and bees."
"Great, Dad. Then I'll tell you about Mom and the UPS guy."
Dear Traumatized Son,
Please learn to knock.
Love, Mom and Dad
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all my curse words into nice words, you little piece of shut.
One of my very own...
Last night my wife and I went out to eat at a crowded restaurant and couldn't decide whose time it was to pay. So we had a contest. We took the wrappers off our straws, wadded them up and opened our mouths as large as possible. Then at the same time we threw the wrappers. Mine went right in her mouth, so she bought. She claimed that it wasn't fair sense her mouth was so much bigger than mine and hinted as to the reason for that, so I bought after all.
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