FOLIO OLIO

MEN

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Almost without exception, a man will kill and eat anything....just to see if he sighted his scope properly...

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For centuries men have been the unwitting participants in a study of the effects of alcohol on human decision making...

(did you notice the one sock?)
(Time to tase...5...4....3....)
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TRUE: How to know your house party is too big? 911 calls your house about a report of an unconscious person and you have to ask the operator where that person is located.

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HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

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The Peace Corps is celebrating 50 years of shipping clueless hippies overseas.

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This man was repeatedly blasted with a high-pressure fire hose while riot police were attempting to break up a demonstration. This man is a Man.

That look on his face says it all, doesn't it?
He would bite your dick slap off, then laugh....but laugh like a man....then say something very clever...so clever everyone within earshot would remember it and tell it to their grandchildren...and while telling them, they would try and make the same face.
Oh, yeah.

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A new analysis predicts that the Maya calendar is off by 50 or 100 years.
Well, that's good....right?
Or does that mean that time stopped in like 1956 and we just didn't even fucking notice?
Too deep for you?

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History - The only class that is guaranteed to be harder every year.

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This is proof positive that a man will do anything for enough money...(that's Prince Charles)...........AND HE DON'T EVEN DRINK!!!!!!!!

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"I wish I could talk to owls."
"Who?"
"Exactly."

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Men never give up wishing they lived in a tree house.

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TRUE: A friend of mine was asked at the grocery store check-out if he had a senior citizen's discount card, which he produced. Then when the clerk got to the wine she asked to see his driver's license.
(no word on whether she was a blond)

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"I might as well go ahead and call 911 now and save some time."

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TRUE: Dark Matter has been renamed Weakly Interacting Massive Particles, or WIMP.

(I'm betting a guy did that)

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Men take pride in their vomit. I have actually seen a man vomit and laugh at the same time.

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I have learned from movies that if you are ever chased through town you can always hide in a passing St. Patrick's Day Parade...always.

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Ladies, this is how you fill out one of those personality tests they make you take when applying for a job. You probably answered the "I see" question with something like "Rainbows" or some such shit. Glass ceiling, indeed.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!
GODDAMN THAT FUNNY!!!!!
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There was a Name-the-baby contest for one of my wife's employees. Apparently "Terry the Chocolate Orange" is not appropriate for a white woman married to an African American.

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I know a lot about men...I've been one most of my life. And I know that this was not his idea. Think about this: This man will one day have teenage sons who will stumble across this in the top of the closet where you thought it would be safe...under your handgun...and put it on line so the whole world can laugh at you...

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TRUE: I once heard a girl say that she flunked a class after fucking the professor. How fucking sad is that?
See, a guy might have sex with an older professor to bump his grade, but the grade would be discussed before the sex.

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Why put a naked woman mashing ice cream to her nipples in a blog about men, you ask? Just because I can, that's why.

(for my lonely friend up on top of that mountain)
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To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid....but what exactly was this Chick Magnet's motivation? Hell, that's stupid even for a guy....a sober guy anyway.

Hell, yeah....I mean HELL FUCKING YEAH!!

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If Christopher Columbus had known we would still have to work on his holiday, he probably wouldn't have bothered setting sail.

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Here's a great idea. You see, the car has a rope tied to it. The rope wraps around the bottom of the street sign, then extends across the reflection pool to the "water skier".

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When my first wife got pregnant this is how I responded:
"Pregnant? You can't be pregnant, you're on the pill."
"My doctor took me off the pill for a couple of months, remember. I told you to be careful."
"I thought you were talking about my technique!"

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Us guys are very adept at coming up with stuff like this...some much more successful than others.

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A guy could walk into his buddy's house and if it looked like this he would say something like "Been busy?"...I mean that....

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I want to learn all I can about Islam so I can hate them more efficiently.

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Yeah, men start doing this shit real early...this has emergency room written all over it...

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I was talking to a guy the other day and asked him something about his youth, and he said these words, "Well, there was a lot of....ah....fuzziness from about 20 and 25."

(Indeed! Fuzziness is good, right?......right?)

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My bet is that this man was deliberately trying to see how close to the edge he could drive...it reminds me of that road I was on in Colorado.