FOLIO OLIO

FAMOUS PEOPLE AND STUFF LIKE THAT

(read the sign, Harold, read the sign)

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A cop stopped me the other night a 1 am and asked me where I was going.

"I'm on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body," I said.

He asked, "Really? And who's going to give a lecture at this time of night?"

"My wife," I replied.

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Pretty cool costume...

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I keep walking outside with my laptop and I still can't see myself on Google Earth! I know this is my house for sure on Google Maps, but it's not showing me when I go outside. I even typed in my address. What's up with that?

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

G-force.

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#21, fourth from the left. Who is he? Highlight between brackets below.

[ SEAN CONNERY ]

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I found out my wife has OCD. When she touches something with one hand she has to touch it with the other hand or she freaks out. After she brushed my face with the back of her hand, I tackled her to the floor, held her down, and laughed at her while she panicked and tried to touch me with the other hand.

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Do Customer Service Reps keep us on hold just to see how much we'll take?

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John Lennon....signing his life away...

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Steve Irwin died the same way he lived...with animals in his heart.

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With friends like these....

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If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
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If you don't like where you are, then move. You are not a tree.

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When I was in college a young woman was complaining to me that she had flunked a class, concluding with "Yeah, and I fucked him, too." That was one of the saddest things I have ever heard.
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Mattresses?!?.....jeeeeeeeez...

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Why can't I poop like everybody else? I only go about ever month or so. My wife gives me all kinds of vitamins and stuff, but...
If you doubt me I kept a journal: June 12, July 24, August 21, Sept 17, and Oct 11. Any suggestions?
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