FOLIO OLIO

NEWS OF THE DAY

AIRPORT SCREENING

If terrorists hate us for our freedom....does that mean they're starting to like us?

Does this guy look like he has ever had his balls touched by a man before?

It's called Gate Rape and women especially are fed up with it.

And this jackoff takes something personal out of your luggage and holds it up for everyone to see. Bad form, old boy....and don't let me and you end up in the same bar tonight.

Of course, I can still laugh about it...

One young lady cut to the chase by arriving at the gate in a big winter coat and a bikini. She walked right through. She may have started a trend. The next time I fly I'm going to wear a kilt with no underwear.
And this T-shirt.

...as if it COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE....

...the "O" face....JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!

I don't think I'm a pessimist when I say that it's only a matter of time before those crazy bastards bring down a plane. But here's what I don't understand...why are they obsessed with airplanes? I mean, shit, two of them could walk into just about any big store, cover the exits and kill just as many people that are on the average plane...except in Texas...don't try to pull that shit in any store in Texas.

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TATTOOS THAT WILL BE REGRETTED...GUARANTEED

This one is already so dated that it's funny (er)....

That one ought to give his wife a few laughs...if he ever gets married.

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FAMILY PHOTOS THAT SHOULD BE REGRETTED

...and she looks so...normal.

I like to look at photos like this and guess how many of them have spent time in the state pen and for what conviction...meth is at the top of my list.
And if they don't live in a trailer I will kiss your ass.

There has got to be a legal term for this...and it probably has the word "multiple" in it.

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HEURISTIC WORDS TO INSPIRE

Facebook is like jail...you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

What would you do if I came out of your mother's bedroom covered in blood?

I steal toilet rolls from public buildings so I don't have to buy any.

Love is a blind whore with a mental disease and no sense of humor.

I know it's natural and all, but I wish women on the bus wouldn't try and breast feed me.

I don't know why I even bother chewing corn anymore.

After four tries, I finally karate chopped the board in half with my cast.

I love pie like a fat kid loves pie...a fat kid who loves pie.

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TRUE STUFF

The exact cause of King Tut's death is one of ancient history's most impenetrable mysteries. A new and intriguing hypothesis is that he was killed by an angry hippopotamus. (how they determined it was angry was not explained. I mean it might have just been a case of rough sex gone very, very bad.)
I do know that Tut had severe fractures, including having one kneecap ripped off.

The universe started out as a hot, soupy liquid, according to simulations in the world's largest particle accelerator.

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ABOUT ME

I used to own an Alfa Romeo Spider just like the one below. I love convertibles and have one now...but not an Alfa. Driving with the top down adds a whole new dimension to driving. It's hard to explain and may effect some of us more than others.

My wife and I have decided to go to Canada next fall. I have a couple of art installations things I'm going to do along the way. Will, of course, keep you informed.

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BOOKS THAT GAVE ME PAUSE

I wholly agree with that book's premise. There are a whole bunch of American men that should turn in their men cards. Stop with the being pushed around gentlemen. Man up! I haven't done anything I didn't want to do in so long I forgot what it feels like....except for that wedding not to long ago.

Mean people suck.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet David Noebel, the fucking lunatic.

I used to think that men were fascinated by breasts because they don't have any, but then I remembered that women don't have balls either and hardly ever ask strange drunk men to show them to them.