About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

THE UNTIED STATES OF AMERICA
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Yes, I meant 'Untied'. There is a lot of confusion about what people mean when they state that they want their country back. This first example is but a mild example of the government micromanaging my life. I say, if I want to blow my fingers off, then I should have a right to do so.
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I wonder how many calories there are in boogers.
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There is a place for laws...I'm not an anarchist, but...
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If you tell nothing but the truth, then you don't have to remember anything.
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Why are these people laughing? Because they do things for (to) us that we don't want done and they know there ain't nothing we can do about it.
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I want to tell you that both goats and dolphins have a human-like vagina, so if you're ever lonely, you've got options.
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I think that everyone in America should have health insurance...when we can afford it. Right know IS NOT the time to take more of my money and giving it to someone else.
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If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So shut the fuck up.
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Governments at all levels seem to take delight in banning things. A big can full of the equivalent of three beers and several cups of coffee has caused many states to ban the product. Why? We are not children and I for one am getting tried of being treated like one. Interestingly, when the caffeine was removed from the drink, the sales skyrocketed.
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It is better to be smart enough to play dumb, than to be dumb enough to play smart.
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Why wouldn't the powers to be just go to Israel and let them teach us how they do it? They don't have underwear or shoe bombers. They don't pat down their citizens. So let's ask them how they do it so well.
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Had Eve been tempted with marijuana rather than an apple from the tree of knowledge, we'd all be living in ignorant bliss and smiling our faces off.
Damn you, Satan!
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I once stated that any country that denies women the right to be, say, doctors or lawyers are only using half the brains in their country...a sure ticket to backwardness. Well, here in America so many kids drop out of school that we aren't even using half of the brains in this country. It's a disgrace.
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Apparently 'I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours' is not a valid defense in this state.
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We lock up more people than just about any country. As stated before we are not more lawless, be just have too many fucking laws banning things that the government has no business banning. Further, we have a tax code that is so complicated that the fucking CPA's can't even keep up with it. Then when you make a mistake you are punished.
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How will I know why the internet stopped working if my internet stopped working?
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We are a people who sue people for just about anything. This Santa can't let the kids sit on his lap for fear of a law suit. When I was teaching I would never allow myself to be alone with a child in my room. If one came into my room to talk to me, I took them out in the hall where the cameras were.
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Some women have strange fetishes. They dress like a bitch and act like on 24 hours a day.
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It's human to be anti-war...but it's unacceptable to be anti-soldier.
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Having kids is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
(I have no idea what that means)
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In other wars we, the people, were asked to make sacrifices.
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If we are what we eat, then are cannibals the only true humans:
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Now the only ones to make sacrifices are the soldiers and their families.

What were we told to do for the war effort?
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I'm not arguing. I'm just explaining why I'm right.
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So while a young men and women are dying and killing everyday, the other young people find other....diversions.
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Calories are the little bastards that get into your closet at night and sew your clothes tighter.
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Americans are very good at inventing games.
Take the ever-popular spaghetti eating contest.
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November 21 is "Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day"!
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Turning a flood into an arena for fun just proves my point. 

So, if a third of the country uses a word, why not just make it a real word? I would also include the word 'ain't'.

Of course we are a very religious country.
 Think about that sign a minute. If I think I am an agent of evil. 
Of course, logically that means you should not think, then you are an agent of good.

"I Side Hug." Well, that ought to keep you out of hell.
Jeeeeeeeez.



And what's sad is that most folks have never even considered that they could be wrong...or rather, that the parents who taught them all the voodoo were wrong.
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There are many Americans who live in strange places like the one below. Many (most) have rules that forbid flags, clothes lines, pets, leaving your garage door open, parking a pickup truck in plain view, etc. I find that extremely sad. With all due respect, I choose not to go fuck myself.

Many Americans have jobs that would send me straight up the wall.
Just another day at the sardine packing plant.

But I do think the average American has a great sense of humor.


We can even laugh at tragedy.

Movies filmed in each state....interesting.

My of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS, BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

Yes, that is a young Salvadore Dali and yes that is a lobster.
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