About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, February 7, 2011

CAPTIONS ALWAYS MAKE IT BETTER



I am faster than 80% of all snakes....that's good....right?



Health Magazine's Drunkest Cities in America


1.) Fresno, CA
2.) Reno, NV
3.) Billings, MT
4.) Riverside, CA
5.) Austin, TX
6.) St. Louis, MO
7.) San Antonio, TX
8.) Lubbock, TX
9.) Tucson, AZ
10.) Bakersfield, CA
11.) Las Vegas, NV
12.) Modesto, CA
13.) Columbia, SC

So, my city of Columbia is only 13th?!?!
Weeeeeellllll, I better get to work on that!



Speaking of eating....

A 4-month-old baby boy from Grain Valley, Missouri, was in critical condition after a family pet ferret ate seven of the infant's fingers, and the boy's parents are under investigation for neglect and failure to obtain a $100 license for the exotic pet.



If you can't afford a doctor,
go to an airport - you'll get a free x-ray and a pat down, and if you mention Al Queda, you get a free colonoscopy!



There are three things that I hate in life:
Homophobes, Faggots and Hypocrites.




Have you ever wondered why there are so few animals on earth that we actually eat?
Noah had to eat, too, and he ate most the really tasty ones.








TRUE: The Turkish military’s legendary homophobia (rare among NATO countries) comprises both zero-tolerance for homosexuality by service personnel and the requirement of rigorous proof by anyone applying for exemption from service by claiming to be gay. (Homosexuality is the only disqualifier from compulsory service for able-bodied men.) In personal experiences recounted for Foreign Policy magazine in December, some gay men seeking exemptions were ordered to verify their claims by producing witnesses to their homosexual acts, or by photographing themselves fully engaged -- and to be persuasive to authorities, the conscript had to be depicted in the “receiving” position in sexual intercourse.



*****
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST PLAIN STUPID

*****

SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY FUNNY...








BEACHWOOD -- An artificial heart stolen from Perfusion Solution, Inc. is still at large.  
On Jan. 20, the CEO of Perfusion Solution reported the theft of a $20,000 artificial heart and various blood pump parts valued at $10,000.  
Beachwood police said they hope to make a cardiac arrest soon.


MANY AMERICANS ARE FUNNY BY ACCIDENT
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!




TRUE: Youth pastor arrested after teenage boys say that although he maketh them lie down, his "staff" doesn't comfort them at all.


WOMEN ARE LIKE CONDOMS:
They spend much more time in your wallet than on your dick.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*****

*****
INTERESTING PROTEST PHOTOS


This guy is opening his beer on the shield of the riot police...I mean...DAMN!

And in Egypt...

These are Christians protecting praying Muslims...

Have you ever been so angry that you taped bread to your head....me neither...

*****
CARTOON OF THE DAY

One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

Oh, look, two naked girls in a cave...
doing each other's.........hair....

Oh, look, two very dirty girls...

Oh, look, two girls getting.....clean?

Three naked girls just laying there pondering the meaning of life....maybe...
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