About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

PEOPLE WHO CONFUSE ME

Ben Roethlisberger will have to wait at least one more year to have more Super Bowl rings than rape charges.
...and I'd rather be locked in a bar's bathroom with Ben Roethlisberger than watch that halftime show again.



Sometimes I like to tickle the guy's palm when I shake his hand and whisper "What are you doing later", just to see the look on his face.

Pah-leeeeeze...


On my first day in prison I walked into a cell and a big guy who was lying on the cot asked, "What are you in for?"
I said, "Rape."
He said, "If you insist."

The rest of the photographs show that these guys are like 97 miles off the ground. I mean DAMN!

I think old people are just flat out funny...

I tried masturbating with my left hand...unfortunately it didn't work so I went  back to using my dick.




I don't get drunk...I get awesome.

No photoshop this...it's for the Year of the Rabbit.

TRUE: A man in Aspen was arrested for calling a policeman a douche bag.

So let's juxtapose that poor child with this one.
 She didn't think she was pretty enough, soooooo.....
DAMN!


You become a man when you kiss the lips that do not speak.

Yes, that is a vacuum cleaner....
Would that work?

Interesting this....Ronald Reagan shaking hands with......
YOUNG VALDAMIR PUTIN


...speaking of world leaders....

This guy stole a car, wrecked it, and ran away. He was caught because the police found his false teeth which were knocked to the floor mat during the crash.

....speaking of teeth....

....speaking of lunatics....

If you follow his logic, sunny weather is God's way of rewarding Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay. Pat's point: American weather is gay-centric, and we should look to it on any given day as a barometer for how God feels about gays. Brilliant.


...speaking of gay people...

"Oh, doesn't he look so....so.....
TOTALLY FUCKING FREAKY!

"That's my boy!"

Remember this?
Check this out...


Alley rape in 5....4....3....



...speaking of dicks...what do you think this is?
Well, I went to a website featuring movie stars' deformities (and there are more than you would think). Anyway this guy had part of his thumb cut off.
And there's your dick looking thumb.

"We've been framed!"
...sorry...I couldn't help myself.

NAZIS BEING SILLY....does...not....compute...


???????

Why, Floyd....why?


JEEEEEEEZ!?!?!?!

Bad news in 5....4.....3....

One of my very own....

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...

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