FUN WITH LANGUAGE

Been very busy with upcoming mural, so quick things I hope you enjoy.

I'm not superstitious. I'm just a little stitious.

To almost win is to totally lose.

 Please don't embarrass yourself by telling me that's not him....

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES....

Things I discuss with smart people...

"The best part of fighting is the make up sex."
"That's why I hate arguing with my dad."

Everything seems OK on morphine.

Matisyahu (Matthew Paul Miller) is a Hasidic Jew Reggae/Rap Artist.

"Of course I'm going to drive. I'm too drunk to walk."

Customer: All right, young lady, that's it; I'm reporting your name to the store manager.
Employee: The manager already knows my name.

Michael Jackson and Me: Memoir of a Badass Monkey

Is there an intelligent man or woman in the world who believes in the Garden of Eden story? If you find one, strike his forehead and you will hear an echo. Something is for rent.

I think I know how the above happened. He ordered the iPod and there was a blank of what they would like engraved on it.....and that's what he wrote.

Of course it's all about looks. No one falls in love with your personality at first sight.

Fuck those spoiled bastards....period.

That's braile, by the way...

(for nephew, Bruce)
TRUE: I have a very, very good friend who was given some medication that he was supposed to take 1 in the morning and 1 at night, but somehow the instructions were just confusing enough that when he called his doctor and told him he was out of pills, the explanation was that he had taken 11 pills in the morning and 11 at night.


He's still under observation.

I've become so jaded about all the crazy-ass cakes, that I think some people pay for this shit just to get on the internet.....what do you think?


You know, if my wife ever gets Alzheimer's, I think I will carefully explain that I am her husband and give photograph proof and shit until I convince her. Then I will tell her that she used to love to ________________.  Fill in the bland with the lewdest, most disgusting fantasy I can image. Then afterwards if she likes it, it will be a win.


And if she doesn't, then she won't remember it the next morning.


I call that a win-win.

One of my very own....

Those zany Crusaders...

WOMEN IN WATER THAT LOOK LIKE SLUTS,

BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....

Gentle Readers, my viewers are climbing and that tells me that some of you are sharing my address. Thanks.