KIND OF SCIENCE STUFF....

More bamboo scaffold...

Damn, Mississippi....I MEAN DAMN!!!!

Why aren't we doing this all over the world?

No.....I mean it. Why the fuck don't we plant shit wherever and whenever we can?


This is one of those juxtaposition things I like so much...

I like this guy....and I assume Aaron will also.

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, that she had a headache. "Perfect", he said, "I just powdered my penis with crushed aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you."

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordian but doesn't.

I like to run around naked. I mean, shit, my parents used to wear clothes and now they are dead.

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked, I answered, "Yes." They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus." I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."

My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so I found a bar with a mirror.

When I am king you will be the first against the wall.

A study of census data from around the world found that soon these countries will be atheistic:
Australia, Austria, Canada, Czech Republic, Finland, Ireland, Holland, New Zealand and Switzerland.
(If you had been paying attention, you may have learned that most of these countries rank as the happiest on earth)

So, how did we evolve like that?
Check out what our sperm looks like.

It's a roll of the fucking dice, gentle reader.


Take a minute with this....I smiles.
Is there porn EVERYWHERE?!?

Well......no.

As stupid as this may seem at first glance, I think I have an explanation....

If you hang your purse on the top hook, a thief can just reach over the door and nab your stuff.


I thought this was stupid, until somebody told me that it would keep the crumbs inside....easily pored out.

This is a repost, but I think it's cool as shit. If you don't recognize it, tilt your head to the left.

Cool....

This is a kevlar clipboard. It will stop a bullet. The only problem is....when is the last time you saw someone carrying a clipboard?.....1986?

This is kind of cool. Can you name these candy bars?

If you got them all right you are probably fat.


Speaking of being fat....

One of my very own....

WOMEN WHO....WELL....I MEAN DAMN!!!

Please keep these folks in your thoughts...

AND ANOTHER THING....
When I was in graduate school two really clever guys thought up some bullshit award to give living artists so they would come to USC and talk to aspiring artists. They made a list and called number one and told him that he would be presented with a medal, given a place to stay and food to eat, but they would have to fly themselves to Columbia. Well, of course, famous artists said no, so they kept going down the list until they found a famous artist who would fly himself to the ceremony. 
Well, Robert Motherwell accepted. You probably have never heard of Robert Motherwell, but that doesn't matter. He's famous. So during a seminar with graduate students and faculty one really snooty professor asked:


"Mr. Motherwell, I've seen your latest prints with your name plastered all over it and I wonder if you would tell me....are you selling your art or your signature.

As you can see, he not only has his signature, but also his printed name on a relatively small print.

Mr. Motherwell said, "No."

The professor said, "No, you aren't selling you art, or No you aren't selling your signature."

Mr. Motherwell said, "That wasn't the question. You asked if 'I would tell you' and the answer is No."

I like that cheeky bastard.


If you are interested, here's more....
I knew that his agent had sold his 600th painting from a given date. That means that people are bidding on taking possession of a painting that hasn't even been painted yet. He is filthy rich. So my question to Mr. Motherwell was:
"What is your typical day like? What do you do all day?"


He started off with breakfast and walking the dog, etc, then he said......ready?......"And I watch a lot of TV."