My Friday post went out early and couldn't be undone, therefore I offer another Friday Post....I call it Son of Friday Post.
1940's....
1950's
1960's
Nowadays....
69 fucking percent? Are these people insane?!?!
But why? Why I am, a free American, not allowed to smoke whatever the fuck I want to smoke? Does this child look like a criminal?
If say FUCK YOU!
I know I'm not you "normal" kind of dad, but I once told my first wife that if our daughters graduated from high schools without trying sex and pot, THEN I would worry about them.
There have been tens of millions of people from all walks of life enjoying a little weed now and again and the society has not collapsed.
The "war on drugs" has been long decided and freedom won.
I lay this hysteria squarely at the feet of organized religion.
They have no evidence whatsoever, but that doesn't stop them. Check out this gem of the same kind of logic....
That would be funny if it wasn't for the power these lunatics wield.
Speaking of water....
You're welcome.
TRUE: Several homeless men in Florida have come forward to claim that they were recruited by a locally operated website that offered them small sums of money in exchange for "beatdowns" - severe, 12-minute beatings and whippings by semi-nude women captured on camera and sold for hundreds of dollars.
This was said to be a real sign. My guess is that this sign is the most effective for getting the desired effect of keeping people out of the pool.
Which, of course, reminds me of a story. I was once working on a mural in the dead of night and for what I was doing it had to be dark. With all the ladders, extension cords, etc on site I set up a barrier. But people were cutting across the lot anyway. I tried everything to keep them out, until I started to yell, "Don't step in the acid!" And not surprisingly it worked.
Now some good damn ideas....
This jet ski is controlled by the skier.
TRUE: In the "two words that don't belong together" category.....
A friend is in the wholesale vegetable business and receives a semi load of rutabagas every week from Canada. The rutabaga farmer sends out a sexy calendar every Christmas that is a favorite for everyone in my friend's office. My friend ended his story with with these words: "We all look forward to a new Rutabaga Calendar."
(After reading that over, I've realized that this may very well be one of those You Probably Had To Be There stories)
Brilliant makeshift binder....
Now gentle readers....... THE most dynamic development in waste disposal in 8000 years...
Now some ideas that...well, you decide...
I was watching a porn film one time....okay, it was today, and right in the middle of it the guy sneezed. Now I ask you, in all the millions of hours of porn movies you've watched, have you ever heard the stud sneeze? If not, why not?
This is real. You can sign up to be notified when the end of the world is nigh.
Speaking of internet services....
TRUE: Camera been lost or stolen? "Stolen Camera Finder" grabs your camera's serial number from the EXIF data of a photo you uploaded and searches the web for photos taken with the same camera. And that boys and girls is cool as fucking shit.
After my post about my wife's chocolate syrup snow angels, I found this and, well, it pretty much ruined my whole world view.
This young lady is in for a very rude awakening....
(adds a whole new meaning to the term "Smokin' Hot".
I bet this guy TRIES to get arrested...
How many regulations do you think this violates?
(I'm up to twelve and I didn't include placing the cone directly in front of a jet's intake)
Terrified children....always funny....
Does this just make you feel..............tired?
A toothpick city that took 35 fucking years to complete.
(I'm sure his mother is very proud)
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Speaking of liars.....
TRUE: After a tank battle in Iraq War I in which 236 or 250 Iraqi tanks were destroyed, the Americans put all the surrendered Iraqi officers in the back of the command Bradley. Inside the armored vehicle was taped a photo of Erwin Rommel, the brilliant Nazi tank commander. One of the Iraqi's asked in english why they had a photo of a once enemy commander, and a private said, "Maybe if you guys had read a little more about this guy you wouldn't be sitting in the back of my Bradley."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!
One of my very own....
WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....
Back Dimples...sometimes it's good to have a new fetish.
5 comments:
Ralph...
according to your beer data, you drink approximately one case of beer a day. Is this correct?
I took the "Blogger Oath" which makes it a crime to lie.
Which, of course, reminds me of a story.
My doctor once asked me how many beers I drink a day and I said, "23." She asked how I could be so sure of the number and I said, "Because I buy a case of beer a day and on the 24th day I don't have to buy one."
I think there are some more experiments to conduct on your beer can project.
1. Try a different area of the floor. Perhaps there are minute, subtle features of the area of the floor you used that favor the "horizontal" orientation of the can.
2. while it shouldn't make a difference, perhaps there are subtle features of the brand of beer can you used. Did you try different brands?
3. Did you try it with a different hand?
4. How did you score a can that was at 45%?...isn't this can equally right and wrong at the same time? If you scored a can that was within 10 degrees of "vertical" as good, and everything else as bad, then you would only expect about 10% success (10/90).
I would suggest that you set up the following experiment:
Floor area A, alternate floor drops with vertical or horizontal orientation
Floor area B, alternate floor drops as above
"good" is less than 45 degrees deviation from vertical (0 degrees)
"bad" is between 45 and 90 degrees.
Send me the data and I will run the statistical analysis.
Bruce
Did you see the words "Scientific American" or "National Fucking Geographic" in the title of this blog?
I have an excellent suggestion....Why don't YOU get up off your fat ass, get some beer cans and go do all that unfunny shit on different floors and shit, and then give my readers your report. I'm sure most of them are just chomping at the bit to learn of your findings.
Furthermore, I can't believe you actually signed that comment. I know that I would have been much too embarrassed to do so. That tells me that you have spunk and I must admit that I detest young men with spunk. I told both of my daughters, "You can bring home a Jew, a Muslim, a Negro or a Yankee, but don't bring a man with spunk into my house...I won't abide it."
Now quiet bottering me...you've pust my breer drimking behand schedumule.
wait a minute...
YOU'RE the guy who spent two fucking months dropping beer cans on the floor, meticulously recording their orientation, then taking some existentialistic approach to the whole thing being about god and his desire to keep you from drinking. And you're complaining I have too much spunk?
Dammit.. I don't even know what existentialistic means.
Post a Comment