TOILETS AND OTHER GOOD IDEAS

These may look like movie sets or some such shit, but as far as I know they are legit...

And this is what gave me the whole toilet idea...

I saw one of these in operation at Walmart. I was amazed.

I think my wife's ass is beginning to affect the tides.


A good use for an old hard drive...

Oprah bugs the shit out of me. Am I the only one who feels this way?


Try it and let me know if it works...

When road construction workers direct me to drive on the opposite side of the road, I pretend I'm in England.


Those zany Danes....

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"


I really like designers who know what they are doing....

Do you know what you are looking at? A cheap and easy air purifier. 

Me and clocks...go figure...

I meet a dear friend every Sunday afternoon for libations and engaging conversation. Today he told me of an article in a financial periodical that stated that people who could hold their bladder made better financial decisions than those who bled the thing at the first signs of discomfort.
Some time later he visited the men's room and upon emerging said, "I have just opened myself up to financial ruin."

I have no idea what this is, but it looks pretty cool...

Just another thing to worry about...

Speaking of....

And easy fix 'em up projects even you dumb asses can do...

TRUE:  Austin Hatch, 16, of Fort Wayne, Ind., was in critical condition Saturday after the Friday plane crash that killed his father and stepmother. This is the same father who survived a 2003 crash that killed Austin's mother and two siblings.
Yes, this son of a bitch survived TWO plane crashes that wiped out his entire family!!!
(Wouldn't you think the government would put this bastard on the no-fly list?!?!)


As I've stated many times, average Americans can be very funny....

Yes, this is a house completely covered in corks, and, no, I have no idea why....

Insulation?


This motherfucker is a genius!!!!

I know I'm old. I know I don't even carry a cell phone, but, please, folks, don't run your mouth while you are surrounded by other people. And further, most of you bastards seem to think you have to shout so your decibel level will "carry" all the way to California or some such place.

Anybody who makes utilitarian objects out of dead cats can't be all bad....

This is very clever...

When I was in the military and there was a "Readiness" inspection, I would always fill my canteen with beer....TRUE.


I've heard of shoes called Fuck Me Pumps, but this is ridiculous....

A woman will cancel a date because she has to.
A man will cancel a date because he has two.


I WANT!!!!!

A continental breakfast is not a real breakfast.


What will they think of next....instant coffe?

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.


There has got to be a sex joke in here somewhere...

Kids nowadays have it made. I could play happily for a week with a stick with a nail in it.

The ultimate survival knife....and I mean that....

I want one of those. I want one real bad.


This is fucking awesome!!!!

TRUE: The CDC has a website that tells you exactly what to do to get ready for a zombie attack. It's fun and popular, but, of course, the exact same readiness instructions would prepare you for ANY emergency. 

I did not go to the CDC site, but I just wonder if it mentioned having a weapon and ammo? If, for whatever reason, there was absolutely no law enforcement in the town where you lived, don't you think the most popular guy on your street would be the guy with the most guns?
Or.....he could be the most unpopular guy.
I will say again, I can't imagine living unarmed. I don't want to shoot anyone. I don't want to rob a store. But at some point I just might need a Plan B. Not having a weapon is a conscious decision on your part to live your whole life with ONLY a Plan A, and Plan A's have failed over and over again.


This, gentle readers, makes me want to be a kid again...

Vibration, heat and DI-A-FUCKING-LATION....WOW!!!

Now we are talking....I can't wait to plot the increase in the birth and/or rape rate....

This guy is making a fortune with these T-shirts.
Shakespeare quote, credited to Poe, with Twain's image....
fucking brilliant!

Today I heard a man say, "It only takes one monkey to stop the circus."
Southerners talk like that all the time. We like it that way.

A South African Airline that doesn't take itself too seriously....

These are some of the things the flight attendants say:

Toons of the day

One of my very own....

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T.....

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"


So, what is the strangest thing about this next picture?
A. There is a sofa and coffee table sitting on the the sidewalk on a busy street.
B. There is a man and a woman asleep on the sofa sitting on the sidewalk in broad daylight on a busy street.
C. The man on the sofa on the sidewalk on a busy street in broad daylight still has his dick in the woman's face.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!