AMERICA...LOVE IT OR FUCK YOU

Today, boys and girls, we are going to take another look at America. 


This is the map that got me thinking about America. It reminded me of my back-roads journey to California and how it was the first time I realized just how fucking big this place is.

I saw a car with a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker, and the woman driver was texting while she drove.




Speaking of America...
We are broke. We are laying off teachers and policemen, yet there are some that think we need to spend a huge chunk of borrowed money on high-speed rail. I think this idea is a good one....just as soon as we have excess money after all the other really needed stuff is paid for.

I like maps. Here's one I bet will teach you something...

That last one was a joke, this one is not.

In America it would seem (OJ and Casey Anthony) that it is extremely difficult to get convicted of murder.
I counter with: It's extremely difficult to get convicted of murder if you have a good lawyer.
We believe that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, unless you are a black male, then you are pretty much fucked.


This map shows the places that this guy has not visited....

Kind of cool, that.


I find it interesting that the red states are also those with the highest obesity rates.

A young friend joined me at the Legion today. We left at the same time and as I drove out of the parking lot on my golf cart with him behind me, I stopped next to a Ford Mustang Shelby 500...a beautiful, very powerful car. He pulled up beside me and asked if I knew the owner's name so he could send him a 'Sorry About Your Pecker' card.




We Americans love fast food. And it's not like it tastes great. It's just...duh...fast and easy. And we Americans are some of the most lazy on the planet.

We are Americans. We have the right to harm ourselves if we so choose.

And it seems like half of us are fat and the other half are health nutss....

Have you ever had a fly land on your computer screen and tried to scare it away with your cursor?




We have the finest military in the world.

Not only do we have the best war machines, we have to best soldiers...volunteer soldiers....

This may or may not be Seal Team Six, but it is a Seal Team. How would you like to have these bad ass motherfuckers storm through your house?

My problem is this: I understand why we kicked Afghanistan's ass. I have no idea why we kicked Iraq's ass.
Read on....

I don't know if we are the first, but we are the only ones in modern times who kicked somebody's ass then spent huge sums to rebuild those same fucking countries. We did it in Germany and Japan after WWII, and now we are doing it in Iraq and Afghanistan. I would love to know of another country who has done the same if you would like to leave a comment.


I find it alarming that Americans don't even know what their rights are, and when we do we will now gladly give them up in an attempt to insure safety.

America has some of the stupidiest laws in the world. I claim it as my right as an American to break stupid laws......pass me the bong.

After 911 it seems there is no end to what Americans will tolerate in the name of combating terrorism. If you had shown me a movie twenty years ago of a TSA pat down (groping) I would never have believed that we would put up with it.

Where exactly do the ideas for stupid laws come from....read on.....

And our appetite for electing really, really stupid people to high office is insatiable. 

Saying "But we can still be friends" is like your mom telling you that your dog died, then adding, "But you can still keep it."




We Americans are very creative....

We also take great pride in our collective accomplishments...

We built the space station with...well, read on....

When we are asked to make sacrifices (pay taxes) to help our government out of this hole we have dug for ourselves, I am of the opinion that everyone should pay their price....and that includes space exploration.  Sorry, folks, but right now we can't afford it.


And one reason we can't afford it is the way we tax.
Right now Oprah pays about the same rate of tax as you and me. 

Even after 911, America's borders are practically wide open.

Yet, we are one of the few countries in the world who is criticized for building a wall on our border.

Think about that....we build a fence on our own border and we are portrayed as bigots, or hate-mongers or whatever. Why do we put up with this shit?  It's our border and we ought to be able to do with it as we wish.


America, including me, lived for decades with the real possibility that we would be attacked and that that attack could not be repulsed.

We lived under the cloud of instant destruction every day. That fear is part of who we are and shapes our decisions to this day.

And do you know how we got rid of that risk? We simply out arms raced the other guy and ran him into bankruptcy. 

Americans are the funniest people on Earth. I am not the only person to think so; polls from all over the world show that other people think so also.

Do you know that blow up doll's name....highlight...
[ Otto...as in Otto-pilot ]


We Americans tend to change slowly....but we do change.
Today we are just about ready to give homosexuals the same rights as other Americans. 

And just like so many other examples, it is the religious who leads the opposition to the common sense forces guiding us out of the mind-numbing stupidity of status quo just for status quo sake...

I have not always felt about homosexuals as I do now. What flipped me over to the dark side was my realization that they are Americans first....homosexuals second.

I still don't think the men in the photo above should use the child to make their point.
This, of course, holds true for the nutcases below...

Christianity is the best way to cure gayness. Just get on your knees, take a swig of wine and accept the body of a man into your mouth. (Cobert)




But who would listen to these people after all the shit they have opposed in the past that has been proved to be pure idiocy?

I have been asked why I hate Jesus so much. Let me state so that everyone can believe....I LOVE JESUS! His message was dead fucking on and I do my best to be kind of like him. 
Be nice to one another....check. 
Treat people how you would like to be treated....check. 
Don't be a dick....check.  
If you are a slave, respect your master......okay, I'm having trouble with that last one.

Read this...

Me and Mr. Lama Rama Ding Dong would get along just fine thank you very much.....how about you?


When I stated that America changes slowly, think of all the talk over how women in the military would be disastrous.
Meet these four women.

They are the crew that flies this....

And before women there was blacks, and now gays....Stop, ya'll! Americans should stop fucking with one another!!!   We are better than this. 


Marriage is blindly going wherever she tells you and hoping there's WiFi when you get there.




After decades of wrestling with the race issue, we elected a black man as president. I know that doesn't mean the struggle is over...but it does show that we are working on it.  (you might want to look at this image carefully)

President Obama's approval ratings are so low now that Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.


There is no end to the ignorance of some Americans...

Hell, we Americans can just make up our own religion when the other one doesn't work out for us...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!! I'm sorry, but I find that fucking hilarious. "A planet called Kolob...an invisible city called heaven....same fucking thing, ya'll!!!


I read the word catholic on a bumper sticker and thought for a moment they were addicted to cats.




Americans may be the only people on earth who will take a still alive headless chicken to a university...

If the grass is greener on the other side, the water bill is higher.


We Americans are fans of sports...mostly sports that we made up, thank you very much.
This healthy young woman is a fan of the Green Bay Packers, who happens to be the best sports team that the world has ever known....look it up.

TOONS OF THE DAY....

Two of my very own concerning America....

(just about every newspaper in America has a horoscope section.....think about that, world)

(yes, world, we are getting more and more stupid....we seem to like it that way)

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,

BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....

America, in my humble opinion, is littered with the most beautiful women in the world. I think it has to do with inbreeding.

(Seriously, this young woman is.....unbelievably beautiful....from an artist's perspective)