WOOD...NOT THAT KIND

I'm away at a two day poker game. I threw this together a few days ago. Hope you enjoy.

And to think, some people in this world don't eat pork...

NOW...WOOD....

Person A: "I don't have anything in common with anyone."
Person B: "Neither do I."
Person C: "I don't either."
Person A: "I said it first."

You've got to hand it to them, gangs are absolutely brilliant when it comes to making words with their fingers.

If someone tells you that nothing is impossible, ask them to dribble a football.

This movie clip reminded my of a dear friend of mine who built movie sets for a living.

He was working on a Voo-Doo movie in Haiti and the hallway the star was to walk down was supposed to twist and turn as if he were feeling the effects of the drugs. The director wanted hydraulic lifts and all kinds of controls. My friend talked him into trying it his way, which was to build the hallway out of 1x3's and 1/4" plywood and use 4x4 levers to distort the hall from the outside. Of course it worked.

Having seen this sort of thing in person, I find it rather sad...knowing the ocean will win eventually....

A visitor once asked why the inhabitants of one of the islands off the coast of South Carolina looked so.....odd.

They answered, "I don't think they rotate their crops very often."

In his will, George Bernard Shaw ordered no religious service and that his tombstone not 'take the form of a cross or any other instrument of torture'.




I sure would like to meet this man....(or woman)....

Charles Dickens will stipulated that the mourners 'who attend my funeral wear no scarf, cloak, black bow, or other such revolting absurdity'.




Oh, my!

If you pee in the shower, you can save 1157 gallons of water a year.

PAPER BAGS: Because sometimes turning off the lights just isn't enough.

Some days I feel like I am surrounded by idiots...other days I realize it's not just some days.

TRUE: A depraved rapist began to masturbate in court while his victim was giving testimony. 

Oh, I love your religion...virgin birth, water into wine.
It's like Harry Potter except it causes genocide and bad folk music.

Sometimes the tree itself is art...

I made a table like this one time. It was awful! After spilling about 100 beers because I set it on the wrong place, I threw the thing in the backyard. 

I think this would be delightful...

Toons of the day....

 One of my very own....

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,

BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....

"Thirty what?"

"Nine! Thirty-fucking-nine! Now get on with it."