FOLIO OLIO: PEOPLE DOING ODD THINGS

With great penis comes great responsibility.....

My wife told me to go get some of those pills that would make my dick get hard like it used to. So I came home and tossed her a bottle of diet pills.
I'm still looking for a place to stay.

"There's no time to explain how I got bit there, I just need someone to suck the poison out."

EXAMPLE OF CULTURAL INSANITY #1...

EXAMPLE OF CULTURAL INSANITY #2...

Che found something amusing...

Crossword puzzle clue: Medium medium
_ _ _
[ ESP ]

TRUE: The number of limousines owned by the federal government has risen 73% during the first two years of the Obama administration.

A train station in China...

I have no idea what she thinks she's doing...

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they're placed around your throat she's probably upset.

This is the reason Japan will never take over the world...

Problem solved...

I would love to be eating Jello when an earthquake starts.

Okay, I understand why she wanted to take a picture in the mirror in her bathroom, because every young woman in the western world has taken a picture of herself in the bathroom mirror, but she's not taking the picture. Someone else is holding the camera, so why is he using the mirror?

"The movie Red Tails...if they're all black, then how are we supposed to guess who will die first?"
"Bitch, please."

Crossword puzzle clue: Help wanted word.
(think outside the box on this one)
_ _ _ _ _ _
[ MAYDAY ]

????????

HUNDRED: An irrational fear of being attacked by Huns.

I know what that large thing is in her hand. It's a drawing pencil mega-sized. The little rings slid down and releases the fat lead. I have one that works on the exact same principle.

When I was younger I went to church religiously.

Can you believe that this practice occurs often enough to warrant a sign?

Studies show that a person is 30 times more likely to laugh if there are other people present. This strongly suggest that the physical expression of laughter serves as a social signal among humans.

The very first day this kid got his glasses.....

"Guess what's under my helmet."

This woman has had dicks in her mouth.

And it wouldn't surprise me if she got into this sort of thing.......not that there's anything wrong with that....

My old friend juxtaposition again.....

"One does not simply 'pause' online games."

Yeah, easy for them to do since they will go to heaven or Shangri la or some such place if they get eaten....

Royalty...go figure...

Once I was in a Chicago library and wanted to check out a book. The librarian told me I had to prove I was a resident of Chicago. So I stabbed her.

George Carlin the woodcarver....

Miss Breakfast, 2011...

Speaking of meals....

He gets invited to every party in town...

Elvis playing football....that is all...

Some people liked Elvis much more than others....

Now hot off the presses....

Boys, on the other hand, know exactly where their G-spot is and have known since shortly after birth...

So while little boys were busy playing with their dicks, little girls were busy playing other things...

I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me.

"You've come a long way, son."

I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch A Sketch and I don't own an iPad.
Also, I'm out of vodka.

My frumpy old wife has made me stop saying "Vroom, vroom" when we have sex. She says it demeaning to her. Like her talking to her mother on her cell phone isn't demeaning to me.

Another crossword clue: Locks that are often picked.
_ _ _ _

Okay, I'll give you a hint: [ The first letter is A ]

[ AFRO ]

Can you say alcohol abuse, boys and girls?

This is the picture that pops in my mind every time I hear a strange noise in my house....

You can't spell Romney with out money.

Now that I have Netflix on my computer, I watch a lot of movies. I have noticed that every time a girl is running from danger, she falls down. Every fucking time.