Why did the pervert cross the road?
My wife told me...no, ordered me, that me saying "On your mark, get so, suck my dick" has lost all allure to her....especially in Publix.
She also forbad me to do this when she tells me she is having a night out with her girlfriends.
They say the money can't buy you happiness.
But happiness can't buy you money, either....unless you sell some of that happiness at the Motel 6 to a salesman from Omaha for some freaky shit he learned in Tibet.
This just about says everything you need to know about men, doesn't it?
Written inside a bathroom stall was "My wife follows me everywhere". Below that was written "I do not."
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties......just ask my wife.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Meet Miss Signofeternalloneliness....
You want to have fun at work? Just call people at random and whisper, "They found out about the expense report!"
A question that she knows the answer to prior to asking...
Okay, I've changed my major....
If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
"We have so much in common!"
Semen contains zinc and calcium, both of which are proven to prevent tooth decay.......just sayin'.
I imagine at my wife's graduation, her parents thought it good that she was finally wearing a tassel on something other than her nipples.
Whenever I fly I take a double dose of Viagra so the scanners see my boner and feel just as uncomfortable as I do.....it's even better payback if you get in the pat down line.
If this upsets you, you're probably a dick....
If she uses rubber handcuffs, you're a wimp.
True love is when he holds your hair back while you're giving him a blowjob.
Ever seen this movie?
Don't.
Mardi Gras - It's all fun and games until you're the one with a daughter.
While the Chinese Premier was at the White House, he told Obama that the rent was past due.
"Oh, look, my penis is so polite, it stood up so you have a place to sit."
The trouble with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
I read that Stephen King bought the van that hit him while he was biking so that he could beat the shit out of it when he recovered.
TOONS TO AMUSE.....about naughty parts......
ONE OF MY VERY OWN....
WOMEN WHO PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS.....
No comments:
Post a Comment