FOLIO OLIO: MEN.....I MEAN DAMN!!!!

This man is drunk. He needs coffee.

It is a scientific fact that men have no embarrassment gene....

Be careful on those escalators, people. I once tripped and fell down one for an hour and a half.

And even if they could be embarrassed, alcohol will fix that....

MODERN TIMES: I hear that book is a real page clicker.

Before I do anything I ask myself "Would an idiot do that?" And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

Yes, this man is texting.....

Mr. Potato Head was the first toy advertised on TV.

Real men like guns....

I am a naked pooper.

This will make a real man get a hard-on....

Nothing puts a little spring in your step like the sound of an 18 wheeler's air horn.

I have a friend who is a branch manager at a bank that was robbed.

I asked him what caliber gun the robber had, and he asked how the hell was he to know.
I said, "How big was the barrel?"

He formed a circle with is fingers about the size of a basketball.....

Thinking too much can only cause problems.

Men with too much adornment looks silly.
Write that shit down......S..I..L..L..Y....

Children shouldn't play with dead things.

A gag one guy asks another guy:
Have you seen that clown at McDonalds that hides from gay people?

???????

Life is what happens when you are busy texting.

Men never, ever grow up....

(go back and look at the look on his wife's face)

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted.

I feel sorry for all the men out there who hate their jobs...

I once predicted that if there was universal health care, that there would be a massive change of jobs, since many men only stay in jobs they hate for the insurance.

Whoever got away with putting the lettle "B" in the word "suble" deserves a pat on the back.

Auto Polo. What the fuck not?

I can't wait to see how stories about Apple's inhumane working conditions will look in HD on my new iPad.

Men are born problem solvers....

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled all day by a really weak guy.

This may be the only man with a radius of 50 miles who could resist watching the girls do that.

Never take a beer to a job interview.

I am of the opinion that the Hippy Era was the greatest time to be a man. Back then it was cool to run around naked.

Bill Gates donates money that can only be measured in a new metric unit called "Fuck Ton".

This man has invented a device to keep out burglars.
Well played, sir, well played....

How often to you hear an argument that is so stupid that you want to stab them in the esophagus?

This unusual structure remains unexplained.....until now.

I say it stated as a bet made between two men.

When it's cold outside I like to curl up with a thick book and a beer. Then I like to use the book as a coaster for the beer and browse the internet while simultaneously flipping through channels on TV.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm irritable, restless, uneasy, sad, or just plain not high.

This is what boys look like in sex ed class.....

See, no woman would have thought of this.
He did it just because he could.....which is an excellent reason to do something....

That awkward moment during a physical when my doctor is checking my balls and I run my fingers through her hair.

Hunt, gather or get out of the way.

Life is too short to hold a grudge. Just slash some tires and call it even.

Dear Men,
If you are not an experienced fighter, and you decide to hit someone in the face as hard as you can, then you will break your hand.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, just be ready to run if he doesn't go down.

The fastest way to a woman's heart is through her bra.

Holy fucking shit!

I have done shit like this.....

"Man, time really flies when you take two naps a day."

When I'm standing at the grocery check-out and the clerk has my stuff all bagged up, then asks "Will that be all for you?" I like to say, "No, I'd like all this invisible shit, too."

Just another rap star towing his ride to concerts....