MONDAY

I'm getting such mixed signals....

Some people hate everybody just because.........it's free.

How do you say "Aaaaaaar" in Greek?

TRUE: I was told that a 19 year old woman was hired for some office work and on her first day wanted to know why they put stickers on all the mail......stamps.

This is the lens for the aerial laser...I actually possess a little piece of a nose cone very much like this....but I'm not supposed to....

 
If Dollar Store started selling gasoline....problem solved.

 "Well, goddamnit, Martha, they said 'Take a seat'!"

If Christians believe in life after death, why is marriage til death do you part?

Said the guy in the background, "Duuuuude?!!?"

TRUE: Last night in my crowded pizza joint the owner came over and asked if I wanted another wine and I nodded. He then turned to the bartender and shouted, "Wine in a basket for Ralph, STAT!" The restaurant had a good laugh.

Another example of words that have never been arranged in a sentence....

Somebody told me that the political left and right in England was backwards from what it is here. Their right wing want more government, for instance.

Once my wife told me I should buy a new truck because the old one was too loud.
I said, "So are you."

And I would bet money that this was very, very effective...

I lean toward art that is a collection of things.

 My upcoming piece is going to be another consisting of another collection of one dollar bills.

 Of course, their property was a major heroine distribution center...........(I made that up)

I visited a site that showed the huge headquarters of Burning Man. I found that.....disquieting....

I have never taken anyone shooting that didn't enjoy it.

ONE OF MY VERY OWN...

I find it fascinating that the universe, our brain, and maps like this are almost identical...

GRANDMA?!?!?

Anything you can do I can do drunker.

Can you name four presidents with a V in their name?
[ Calvin Coolidge, Roosevelt, Grover Cleveland, Van Buren ]

If you don't recognize the people on the left, it's okay, it really, really is....

When you think about it, dodgeball is like stoning practice.

Do you have a plan for a zombie invasion?

I love it when famous people do shit like this...

There are for profit colleges in the US who get students every kind of financial support (aka: our money) and then graduate 17%......and the 17% is the average, so some are much lower.

Among the most popular names in India....

I don't post sandcastles as a rule, but......

Well, the new World Trade Center is coming along nicely...

Sign my ass up.....

Our family was so poor that we used to go to KFC and lick other peoples' fingers.

If you are in the opening scene of house, you're gonna have a bad day.

Well, that clears that up....

Brilliant!

Destroying an eagle egg can get you 10 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

How to be a cool teacher; Step One.....

And, yes, it is universal....self awareness, I mean....

Take as directed.....by yourself.....

The policeman in Monopoly is named Officer Edgar Mallory.

For me, exercise is like mother's milk.....I haven't had any since I was a child.

 I watched a very informative two-hour show on TV about what we would probably do if we found out ET's were heading to Earth. The effect on religion was riveting.

 I learned that the Olympics dictated that the beach volleyball teams wear those little bikinis. Now there are options, but congrats to the USA team to sticking with showing more skin.

And after all these years, they are still posing just like this...

Just throwing a bone to all you nerds out there....

I find this a very interesting concept...

So, what has your little snowflake done today?

I'll bet this is very effective at speed control...

This is the way I used to look when I had to wear a tie.