THURSDAY

I know this sounds deep and all...but what the fuck does it mean?

This is a description of a Ted talk....interesting.

This is John Dillinger. Allegedly he had a dick on him that would hang to his knees.

The beginning is near.

Without a body, they can't prove anything.

 TRUE STORY: I went to a writers' conference one time and 8 or so of us stayed up very late drinking. The next morning I noticed that one of the drinkers was not downstairs yet and it was almost time for him to introduce the keynote speaker, William Price Fox. So I went to the front desk to ask them to call him, but I didn't have his room number. I begged them to look it up and call him and explained he was in charge and had duties to perform.

Twenty minutes late he arrived, took the stage, apologized, then pointed at me and told all the hundreds of attendees that I had called the desk to cancel his wake-up call.

Dear Young People,
My deepest condolences on your graduation.
Sincerely,
The generation who fucked it up.
ps: You might want to take down all those Facebook pictures that make you unemployable.

My wife sent me this and it reminded me of something from my youth....

 About 5 miles into the forrest behind my house there was a granite 50' cliff. And gushing out from under the cliff was a pure water spring, therefore we always stopped there to refill our canteens. When I was 13 or so a man bought the land surrounding it and began to build a house out of used materials, looking very similar to the image above.

He even straightened the nails he removed.

His house was MUCH bigger than this one and looked more....normal...painted and all.

Anyway, when he started to plow, my friends and I could walk along behind and pick up arrowheads that the plow turned up. It seems that many years ago, the Indians liked to stop by the spring also.

Just in case you didn't know....

There are so many people who are alive today simply because I don't want to go to prison.

These two naked people reproduced the entire alphabet....

I don't know why.

The baddest motherfuckers on the planet...period....

Just give them a moment of your thoughts.....please....

This reminds me of the restaurant in Boston that was world famous for its rude waitresses. I had to go, but went too early and they weren't busy, thus not rushed, thus nice.

Bummer, that.

Dry meets wet....

Hitchhiking is not fair....

An 8 year old brick factory worker in Iraq.....Eight. Year. Old.

Dear America, be thankful, you spoiled bastards....

Look, someone's eye and/or nose is just about to learn a very valuable lesson....

The police sent me a picture of me speeding.
I sent them a picture of a check.
They sent me a picture of handcuffs.

One of the things my dog and I had in common is that neither of us wanted me to go to work.

I should have thought of this...

Mexican craftsmanship at its finest...

There's room for all of god's creatures....right next to the mashed potatoes.

This is not shopped....

Reminded me of an upside down Rothko....

Interesting, that.

What an asshole.............no, really...

TRUE: I haven't heard from a frequent commenter in a while. I've missed him.

TRUE: For all you people who loved the warm winter, because of it there are no (zero) apples in Michigan.

I think that condoms should change color according to whatever STD they come in contact with.

Remember the tsunami?

The other night I called the police on a high school graduation party on my street. Then when they all ran off, I went in and stole all the booze.

If was were invisible, I would kick a mime to death, so at least he'd die with everyone thinking he was doing a great job.

Uuuuuh......no......

Alcohol makes everything a guitar.

??????

TRUE: One of the reasons I distrust Chiropractors is that one of them told me that as an artist I needed to have regular alignments because I had a creative juice that goes up my spine and spreads down to my hands so I can make art. 

If I went back in time, I would find a tribe, predict an eclipse, and convince them I was a god. Then I would let them worship me for a while, then tell them the truth, and then we would all laugh about it.

Ladies and gentlemen, the most embarrassed riot policeman in the world....

It was stated that no matter how long the Slinky is, the bottom will always "hover" and wait on the top.

My wife does shit like this all the time....honest....

 And just imagine what she would have done if you had sprung for a real meal and maybe some wine.

What's on you mind?

From time to time I host OCD support groups in my home. Not because I am OCD, but every time one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.


TWO OF MY VERY OWN...

So, your point is?