TUESDAY

Nicholas Nickleby......

What a profound statement.....words I live by.
On a personal note: I know a person who always has to come up with excuses as to why they can't do things. What the fuck is wrong with just saying you would prefer not to....it works for me.


This image reminded me of one of the most unusual pieces of jewelry I have ever seen.

A guy I knew killed a snake and had it treated to render the backbone...about the width of your little finger. Then he went to a jeweler and had the spaced between the vertebra filled with gold, beaten to match the two adjacent bones perfectly. Then all this was was strung together on a cable.

This is not funny, but yet again I just like the look on his face....

 In my opinion, this is why cousins are such good friends. Since birth, they get together just enough to have fun, but not so much you get sick and tired of them....

Do pets dream? You can bet your sweet ass they do.

And not only that, when they do, they get a boner.


While I was running today I heard someone clapping, then realized it was just my thighs slapping together.

 (gaping butt-hole design....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

This is a floating bed made by installing very powerful magnets inside the two platforms.....

This woman is praying in Joplin.....and we can only assume for being so merciful.....

What could possibly happen worse to convince her that she is wasting her time?

This woman is a dentist....that is all.....

(that is true....more than two flies and someone gets fired)


I'd be unstoppable if not for law enforcement and physics.

What if health insurance companies actually denied you coverage in the hospital if you are not wearing clean underwear?

Waaaaaaaay, waaaay too much time on his hands....

I'm not saying that we should kill all the stupid people....I'm just saying we should remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

Man bends strainer and photographs the shadow....

Life would be a million times better if there were strategically placed pinatas throughout the city.

When I used to go to that small island in Mexico, each house had one of these on their roofs and a water truck would come by every so often to fill it up, thus allowing gravity to feed the house...

I see plenty of humans, but not much humanity.

Why are we so fat?

This is one of my "Found Round Things" collections...just thought you'd like to know....

Look at the split base so the guy can walk from place to place....

Being hard of hearing (as I am) has it's advantages. The other day a man told me he "makes six figures" and I thought he said he "makes stick figures". I launched into a discussion of how much hard work it takes to learn how to draw properly.....and then it got weird.

I had a brother-in-law who loaded a VW bus on a truck like this....

 ....but he backed the truck into a ditch, then just drove it on.

I only need one more hole punched in my card to get a freebie at House of Tattoos.

There are (as I understand it) seven places in the US that Google Earth scrambled...

Wouldn't you think that would just draw attention to it?


E=CM2, like when am I ever going to use that?

Look, somebody else likes to play with money, too....

Then this...a guy asked people to send him the word "god" punched out of dollar bills....

But my daughter had beat him to it. She requested the holes I was punching out of "Money To Go" and here they are.....

I've already got $2631 flattened, punched and ready to go; and counting.


Okay, this is cool as fucking shit.
It took this young fella five years to design and test this inexpensive emergency shelter for disaster areas.

They can be arranged in grids like city streets on roads, in fields, sports areas - any more or less level ground.

Upon consultation with psychologists, it was determined that people would want their own small unit (I'm assuming to watch one another's back) and a "C" shape was deemed optimum....

Because the four beds hang from the wall and thus fold...

They can be stacked for easy transporting. They will even fit in shipping containers....

There is a simple wedge-shaped addition that will combine working, sleeping and storage into one unit...

Oh, and two men can lift it.


This young woman looks like she doesn't care. Trust is she is a model and was being photographed at the exact moment the first plane hit....

There is a new verb - Trayvoning.
You figure it out.

I've spent my whole life trying to teach dogs that vacuums are our friends.




Kind of one of my very own....

Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill every motherfucker you meet.

Camo: America's away colors.




Cool as shit item #2: In one hospital 80% of children had to be knocked out to scan them. Then they painted the machine and walls with a pirate theme and the whole staff went along with the story by dressing up.
They are told they are about to enter the pirate ship and should remain very still so the pirates don't hear them.
Following the procedure, some children ask if they can come back tomorrow....

It is not illegal to use a magic marker to draw a face on your penis...............yet.




These men are listening to a Ted.com talk about birth rates and religion....some are more amused than others....

So, here's the question I want you to answer before reading farther....The solid blue line indicates birth rates in the last half of the last century. The dotted lines offers you a choice of how many children will there be in the world after the next fifty years......take your time......

The answer is 2....the same it is today.
The explanation following graph applies across the board.

Global population will peak at 10 billion and then level off....

The color shows religion of country, the size the population in that country.....notice that the poorer nations had more children....

Now check out the latest data....

The cops never think it is as funny as I do.




When in Europe, my wife would just do our laundry about once a week, thus allowing us to live out of one bag each.

Once my wife went into a laundromat in France and a fellow traveler guy was sitting in there reading a newspaper in his underwear....we assumed his last pair of underwear.


Liberty and freedom for all.......rich white people.....

I call the cops on all the parties I don't get invited to.

Have you ever awakened in the morning wearing somebody else's pants?




Yeah, this is what we were taught in elementary school...

"Micro-changes in air density, my ass."




Oh, look, somebody going to get lucky.....

"What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"




It's called malaise, and it's contagious.....

"We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplanes because it's obscene."

Clever, clever man, he....

"The dead only know one thing: It's better to be alive."




Can you say culturally anal, boys and girls?