WEDNESDAY

Today's post has many images that require no comment.

Oh, look, here's one now.....

We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

Don't you feel just a little more stupid knowing you have no idea what this is....

Yeah, me, too.


I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.

Just been chatting with my neighbor's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFO's and aliens, so I think it's time for an abduction.


Alien Abduction gag #2:
ALIEN ABDUCTION: For when "I got hammered on moonshine and passed out" just isn't a good enough excuse.

I posted this years ago, then stumbled upon it again and it still made me smile...

This one took me a second or two....

I don't know why people say Taco Bell isn't "real Mexican". It gets the job done for half the price and that's about as Mexican as it gets.

This is for a man called House....

TRUE: Many years ago an astroid hit the Chesapeake Bay creating a crater 55 miles across and sending a miles high tsunami all the way to the Ohio basin.

 Almost 40 years ago....

My wife came home after a business trip. I told her I miss her like an old man's urine stream misses the toilet.




Saw this and thought about mine....

It took me years to collect all the bottles. Notice the one in the back left corner doesn't match....so sue me....

Patience: What you have when there's too many witnesses.




In the South we call girls like this "adventurous".....

I wonder how many stupid people first thought that Catholic was a person addicted to cats?

This is Scumbag Steve.

He had the misfortune to post an image of himself online and something about it made people think of that scumbag friend that everyone seems to have.
Thousands of examples were posted...

Then it occurred to...oh....ten billion people, that they could just put Scumbag Steve's hat on whomever they wanted to make fun of....

Now Scumbag Steve has accepted his destiny and gets paid to appear at events. He's also a nice guy.


I haven't posted any of these in a long while...

4 out of 5 dogs are concerned about you.

Now we wait....

I can see these placed in any waiting room....doctor, dentist, barber shop, etc....

It is said that proof of a grand creator is our Earth; located in the Goldilocks zone: just the right temperature; just the right amount of gravity; our own stabilizing moon; perfect oxygen content; and hundreds of more things that couldn't have just happened.
According to my main man, Dr. Tyson, the Earth has more ways to kill us than we can count. From storms of all kinds, to poisonous plants, wild animals, germs, etc, etc, it is amazing that any of us have survived.

Have you ever listened to someone so boring that you almost passed out?.....seriously.

Did you notice how you turn it?

Life is too short for sobriety.




People are so goddamned gullible.

A relatively intelligent man told me (to my face) that he wouldn't vote for Obama because it was well known that once when he thought the microphone was off he said that his true Muslim motive was to destroy America from the inside. I was but speechless. 


Advice to men: This is why you keep up your studies through your MBA.

Advice to girls: Reason why you keep going to the gym.


I'd kick your ass, but I don't want to hurt the gerbil.

Southern hot tub....

Read a whole collection of "What are the odds" and this was the most amazing....

Woman had her cellphone stolen on cruise ship. Somehow she accessed the images that were taken with it and here is the thief....

 And, no, it's not the black guy. It's the asian guy...

TRUE: The other night during one of my late night pees, I hear a loud drip. I first checked the sink, then the shower. Then I reached down around to the back of the commode. Still on drip. After 20 minutes I gave up, but mentioned it to my wife, who but laughed and told me she bought a new clock for the bathroom and it had a loud tick.

 Oh, my.....

This is the way I walk when I have to go get toilet paper mid-poop....

I'm going to start a rumor that after Alexander Graham Bell said, "Watson, come here", the second phone call was "What are you wearing."

Yeah, when I go camping I take a wheelbarrow full of pots and pans....

I watched this entire video. It was a hoot. It took about 20 minutes just to get her out the door....then this.....

I hate altiloquents.

Read Awards...last item...

Yes, it's a tornado right smack dab in the middle of the wedding.....

And then it got worse.....and this is fucking true! They just stood around taking pictures the whole time....

So something very interesting yesterday. It was an extreme closeup of the first floor that failed. And contrary to conspiracy reports, the supports buckled inward, negating explosions from within....

I am soooo pro-science, but this whole SETI thing is so flawed that we ought to can it....

Dear Young Americans,

Meet the folks that fucked everything up for you.

God forgive me, for I am going to sin like a motherfucker this weekend.
Seriously, I'm going to a family reunion and will be away for a week or so. I will try to get posts in line, but no guarantee.

Kind of like life, isn't it......

I have a friend who has a pig as an indoor pet. Sometimes it gets out and its favorite place to hang out is the outdoor eating area at the nearby vegetarian restaurant...

That's called irony, boys and girls.

Another embarrassed riot cop....

I don't want to be a boo-bird, but have you ever tried to have sex in the sand in this position? Okay, we've all tried it once.........once......

 It's called sand, people, and.....well, you figure it out.

I...ah....don't think so.


A subdivision....

Can you guess the common factor in these next two images?

 They are both carved wooden sculptures.

ONE OF MY VERY OWN....