About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

THURSDAY



Ace Reader, Mel, left a comment on my last blog about the number of people who visit Folio Olio while taking a shit. He said that he did that so often that every time someone farts he thinks of me.
I'll take that as a compliment.

I can remember the day this happened....


DO NOT DRINK THE BONG WATER.
(how many times do I have to warn you?)





I've done this. Got so stoned the water seeped out and we didn't even notice....


If you use the phrase "Bear with me a moment", you can say any fucking thing you want, for as long as you want.





Mace seems like a great anti-rape tool until you realize that a woman takes five minutes to find her phone in her purse and it is ringing and vibrating.




Just Frank Sinatra shaving...and looking a bit light in the loafers....


We've all done this, haven't we....


My great-grandfather helped build the Eiffel Tower. He told me it was the most riveting experience of his entire life.




I want to know what these primitive motherfuckers used to kill this thing....


When virgins marry....
What the world needs is a group hug....just like that.


The guy called the Lottery Commission and asked what the least amount of winnings warranted a big check and photo. He was told there was not minimum amount....


When I notice that someone is staring at me in a restaurant, I like to scratch my scalp with my fork, then take a bite of my food.




This is an illusion and a rather good one....


It's the sensitive guy that gets the needy woman....trust me.




One of my very own....


This man is holding his heart after it was cut from his body.....I mean.....GODDAMN!!!!


I think the world would be a much better place if we used the word "prefer" as often as possible.




Like a fucking boss.....


When you have your quarterback play wide receiver....
"BOO!"

And South Korea just outlawed atheism....TRUE...



Welcome back German viewers. We've been apart for far too long......what do ya'll do, all click on the same day?




Oops.....


This was a set-up for a TV show....I love those TV shows...


The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.




Those are beer taps....


Cleaning fish; tide comes up; well shit......


I watched as a cop attempted to arrest two homeless guys for beating each other with cardboard. He let them go when it was explained that they were just having a pillow fight.





There's a head up his ass joke in here someplace....


When people cut me off in traffic, I always cut them some slack; remembering my rushes to the hospital with wife or kids.




I've actually seen this with my own eyes.....




My most common lie is: I don't need to write that down; I'll remember it.




Another of my very own....


I don't get it.


This is our new cigarette rolling machine......


This man has very, very talented fingers.....


I watched the video and you can't even kick it over....gyros or some such shit....but I like it.



No photoshop this......earring.....


Use for old trampoline....


Somebody's just showing off....
(I want one...........badly)


This is for sale on eBay......
(I want this, too)


We shout very loudly with our silence....
This tells me the bastards were overpaid....




"Making love?" How about just plain fucking?



Okay, I want this, too.......


Define "objects"......


One of the funniest scenes in filmdom....



We could all learn a whole bunch about ducking responsibility from this girl......


This is my wife's usual reaction to just about anything I do or say.....


What the fuck happened to Americans' critical thinking skills?


This sort of reminds me of the past post about men touching their dicks, washing their hands, then expecting their woman to put it in their mouths....

Or not....you got the gun....you decide.


My wife sent me this..........that is all.......
(this is not the spurned lover....I just thought it was cool)


Welcome to the city. Have a nice day....bitch....


You had a bad day? You poor little thing. Did a naked man eat your face off? No? Then shut the fuck up with your petty, pathetic shit.





I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime. 




We've all been on the giving and receiving end of this act, haven't we......it's called "Best Friendship", and it's a good thing.....


Am I the only one who, when arranging purchases onto the checkout conveyor, thinks about it as a real life Tetris game and get all fucking serious and shit?




No mention of tide levels here, boys and girls, but still impressive...
(800 yards is a half mile...or so)


WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN, YA'LL.......


"We don't want to be cut anymore." I mean...DAMN!
I would so much like to meet that magnificent woman.
(I originally wrote "magnificent bitch" as a kind of joke, but changed my mind in the nick of time....too serious, that)


Welcome to Sensitivity Day, world......you're welcome.

2 comments:

The Boy said...

do you think with all of the recent miss spellings the romney campaign has had, maybe we will find out that mitt is actually dyslexic and his name is actually Tim Romney

Anonymous said...

The aircraft carrier joke is a reference to battleship...hence the red pegs.

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