About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

TUESDAY BOSH


Well, yeah, if you are going to play with a yellow ball, what do you expect.....
The CIA vs DMV?


Prior to getting married for the second time, the female teachers at my school gave me a party, and 90% of the gifts were in this vain.....


There is a huge (no pun intended) difference between living in a double-wide and living with a double-wide.....
I seriously, seriously doubt it in this case...


I got kicked out of my rehab program because I refuse to wear pants and be sober at the same time.




How true....


You know what minimum wage says about you? It says that your boss would pay you less but it's against the law.





I always invite all my muslim friends to lunch to celebrate Ramadan. When they explain the fast, I say it's great that their religion has a built-in weight loss program.




These are called Love Locks and they are popping up all over the world....including here in Salzburg....


Whenever I accidentally spell a long, intricate word correctly and there's no red line under it, I type nonsense just to make sure spellcheck is working.




So, ah, how bored are you?


I am fairly certain that my wife has a mental illness.




Just let this be a lesson for us all....


When someone beats you with a flashlight, you make light shine in all directions.




How to identify a real douche bag.......


Just think, by the time they are allowed to marry, most gays would have been divorced by now anyway.




Bird of prey dove for a swan.....swan won....big time....


What has been seen can not be unseen.....


Why Jesus didn't drive....


The hardcore way to eat ramen noodles:
1. Boil water
2. Eat block of ramen
3. Drink boiling water
4. Snort flavored powder
5. Fuck bitches





Can you guess his category?


You know, when you add up all the stupid people + all the smokers + plus all the pumping; it's amazing I've never seen this in person....


Let's learn something new that doesn't matter today....



??????


You can't imagine the designs that have been cut out of the hide of camels....it's truly impressive.....


TRUE: Last weekend I heard about a man who lost his virginity, got drunk and stoned for the first time....all on one two-day weekend.
That's called the trifecta.
The man who told me the story then added, "You can't use my name in your blog!"
I said, "What?"
He repeated.
I looked at him very perplexed and said, "You are ordering me to not use your name, is that what I just heard?"
"Yes," he said.
"Well, I don't take orders very well...it's a problem I've had all my life and I figure I shouldn't start now....here.....in a bar....from my fucking bartender."
"Well, if you do you will have trouble from me," he said.
So, gentle reader, I technically didn't use his name, now did I? 
Had the young man asked me, an old man, to please not use his name, I would have surely complied. I'll just chalk it up to his prickishness.





Time delayed shot of star paths for ISS......

Can you spell irony, boys and girls?


First photo, Lucille Ball, 1930....

THE DUTCH?!?!!?
And by the by, do you remember the emergency shelter that the guy invented? They look just like the units above.


Flooring option. Level: showoff.....


Why people wear face shields......


You might want to look at this more than once...


Speaking of face shields....Some kids should just take up baseball....


I can't be trusted with a time machine.





Why is it called "tuna fish sandwich"? We don't call it bacon mammal or chicken bird sandwich.





"AH, SHIT!" moment of the day...


In a previous post I wondered if pork was illegal in Israel. Here is a comment....

re pigs in Israel: a friend says there ARE pigs raised in Israel although technically it's been illegal since the sixties to raise hogs "on Israeli soil". They apparently get around the law by raising them on wooden platforms and suchlike so they never actually touch the ground... RELIGION.






Suicide: The mistake you won't live to regret.




The devil went down to Georgia.
He immediately regretted doing so.





Except for the ending, this was a wonderful film....


Must of thought it was a peanut.....


Nothing can melt your heart like a contented child's smile...


The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people.




Dog IQ test.....Score: retard...


I know it's probably just the photograph, but don't those look like scars on her thighs?


Marvelous.....


President Obama should go on TV and ask people not to eat yellow snow, just for the joy of hearing Fox News explain how good yellow snow really is.




Or....OR....we are all as poor as your penniless ass....


I've found that most insane people are very funny.





Nothing says "party" like red plastic cups.





I think mass would be a lot more fun if they put holy water in squirt guns.





Whenever I see the words "fat-free" or "low-fat", I think of the words "Chemical shit storm."




Video games.....go figure.....


My ambition is handicapped by extreme laziness.






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