About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

WEDNESDAY'S PENSEE


Underwater bar. No explanation of how you drink in the mask.....straw?


I'm sick and tired of arrogant Europeans calling Americans the dumbest country in the world. You know what? I think Europe is the dumbest country in the world!




Ever wonder what goes on on the nightshift?


Dear Millionaires,
If you don't have a bookshelf that spins into another room, you're spending your money wrong.




I like all kinds of entertainment for the eye. Why not clocks? It's better than K-Mart art.....


"Let's get some coffee so we can be hyper-aware of how little we're going to get done today."





I read that after WWI there was nothing for the troops to do while awaiting discharge, so they invented stuff like this. You do understand that the top of the white ring is hundreds and hundreds of men needed to overcome the foreshortening....


A guy can only be called "Beatrice" so many times before he snaps.




Manners lessons because walking normal is just so gauche... 

I always promise myself that I will only eat a few pork rinds, but it's as if they coat those things with meth or crack heroin or something.





The world would be a much cleaner place if we gave all the blind people brooms instead of canes.




It's a national disgrace and nobody seems to care...



Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d forget about you in a heartbeat. I’m not going to waste my one chance to help fix the mess that is English orthography.





Ritalin - the homemade version requires no refills...


Okay, you railroad enthusiasts, why the strange configuration of the tracks on the bridge?


I'd like to help, but not as much as I'd like not to.




I read that when a full-sized warship is painted it adds 20 tons of weight....


Have you ever apologized to an inanimate object you bumped into? Yeah, me too.



Finally! Ice cream and pork! One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.....


I'm not saying you are a slut, but you have put more balls in your mouth than the Hungry Hungry Hippos.




Anybody have any ideas on this?


My wife has so much clout in 5 Points, that when she rings the bell the ice cream trucks comes to her.




Ancient symbolism, you gotta love it...


Read this in an editorial yesterday:

The hypocrisy of millionaires who say they want to cut government spending while simultaneously asking for a government handout is staggering. How can they be that clueless? Are they missing the gene for embarrassment? Or does having your ring kissed dull the shame receptors of the soul?



Real life Barbie....


A footstool filled with real human hair....



Clearing the rainforest....


Why do they clear the rainforest?


To make charcoal to cook with....


What happens to the Amazon tribes? You move them into a town where they watch TV all day. This is first-generation tribesmen - their fathers killed supper with a blow gun.


I found this fascinating....


That's one goofy looking son of a bitch....


Those Solo marking don't seem legit, but maybe I'm being overly critical...


I will never get enough of these people falling down...


Teacher! Leave those kids alone!"


Proms nowadays have a day care.




He's great at slicing white meat....


Watched the show "World Without People", and it said that because of trained parrots and such, human speech could be around for decades.





Kill it now. Kill it with fire....


Of course gays dress well. They didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

 Speaking of.....


If times get any rougher, I'm going to start turning in my in-laws for the rewards.




If I had to live in a city, I would want it divided in to manageable communities like this....



How do you reckon this happened?


Any time I have some extra money I want to hide from my wife, I put it inside one of her expensive cook books that my wife uses to decorate the kitchen.





I heard a long speech by a law professor who urged Americans to never talk to the police no matter how innocent you are. There were many examples of why one shouldn't, and I'm convinced.
I have long said that if I am ever stopped by the police and asked if they could search my car, I would tell them to get a warrant.





The international soccer authorities have heard the masses; there are virtually no fake injuries anymore. And that is a good thing.





Boredom is an emotion associated with a nourished body, like satiety, it is not for the starving.




Read this....


It should be against federal law for anyone who owns a business to star in their own commercial.





This is a very beautiful song even though I don't believe a word of it. Written by a slave ship captain...did you know that?


There's only some people I hate. The rest I tolerate.



People can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.




Let the Colonel pay your lobola.....


When anyone shows me a baby, I ask if I can hold it up like they did on Lion King. And not once have I been allowed to. Bummer that.





The stock market news guy on MSNBC came on camera without a tie this morning. When ridiculed, he said ties made no sense; as outdated as the cummerbund; and he's joining the growing movement to stop the requirement of wearing a silly ribbon around your neck.
My kind of guy.




If you don't get this, it's okay...it really is....


TWO OF MY VERY OWN.....



And then there's this...


Went shopping today. Please notice the 2 1/2" cylinder. It is very, very heavy, but I don't plan on holding it very long.

...and the size of the bore looks fuckable....

It shoots these. Three slugs and 12 pellets - in each shell...all spun out of the barrel to spread the pattern immediately.

It also shoots a .45 caliber bullet, which is about the size of my dick. Seriously, it's just shy of 1/2 inch in diameter...stop an elephant, kick like a mule, sing like a bird, happy as a clam, sly like a fox......I like animal similes .


I have a Ruger LCP 380 for sale if you are interested.


1 comment:

Jambe said...

re the diagram:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windcatcher

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