About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

TUESDAY #1429


A couple of days ago I posted this and begged for a translation...
Well, one of my most trusted advisers sent me this...
I, however, disagree with their assumption. Shootout works for me.


My main man, Monet...

All Walmarts are two exits up.



LOVE: Got up this morning and there were 5 donuts left in the box. I took 3, microwaved them for a few seconds and headed to my office. Right in the middle of the garage I dropped the plate and all three sticky donuts ended up on the filthy floor. Did I throw them away and go get the other 2 donuts.....no. Those were for my wife. I hate those motherfuckers right off the concrete.


The wailing wall. You take a piece of paper, write down a message to a god that knows everything anyway, and stick it in a crack....because it works...

I can picture, in my mind, a world without war; a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they would never expect it.




We get less intelligent every generation because modern medicine has made being stupid less fatal and stupid people have more kids.



Me when I'm asked to bow my head for the blessing...then I go to the bathroom and pee on the wall....on purpose...

Will this work?

There is never enough time to do all the nothing I want.




Even a fly has it's 15 minutes of fame...

If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, would want me smooth or rough?



I only got 1 dipping sauce with my 20 nuggets and had to ration it like it was WWII.



I'm reading a philosophy book on my Kindle, but no one can see the cover, so they don't realize how smart I am.



At the coffee shop, I saw a German guy reading the first few pages of a book about WWII and smiling. 
Keep reading, buddy, keep reading.



I'm working on a book called "1,000,000 things to do before I die." It's primarily about accepting the inevitability of death.



Shit you don't see everyday...


LET'S DO GUNS, SHALL WE


This is a Luger...

This is a .45. I've never understood why the .45, unlike the Luger, has all that metal weight that goes all the way to the end of the barrel.



You think a woman could do this? Just askin'.
Then I remember that female Marine in Aliens.



I wonder how many bullets Reginald Denny wished he had in his clip?
 Don't know Reginald Denny? You might want to look him up. His attackers were found not guilty because, apparently, they were simply "caught up" in the mayhem.



Think about this: If gun control worked, then Chicago would be the safest place in America.


Here are the weapons they want to outlaw...

I understood the first time I saw this, but why...
Would somebody do this...I mean, what's the point?

A faulty battery brought down a whole fleet...

Being invisible is like being the opposite of blind.



FORTUITY: The best things in life are owned by someone else.



Because it's proven science...just look at all the equipment...

These next two are called "Find the GIF". Kind of cool...


FLABBERGASTED: Being appalled at how much weight you have gained.



You "shoot" your car as it passes...

Food Network just aired an ad about ending world hunger......during the show where someone threw out 50 cupcakes because they had too much lime zest.



The Soap Bubble Nebula...fucking amazing...

"I drink to make other people more interesting."
- Ernest Hemingway



I blame Cheez-its for today's lack of productivity.


Some people just want to watch the world burn...
Wouldn't it be cool if he is some big spy signaling his cohorts.

So, Gentle Reader, are you still dressing just like everyone else in your peer group?

Somebody told me that when searching plane tickets online, you should delete your cookies. Prices go up if you visit a site multiple times.


1000 words...

My city has a beautiful river running right through the middle of it. They have decided to deny development and keep it totally natural. I like natural, but there are hundreds of miles of natural before and after it enters the city. I say develop the shit out of it...

Did you know that newspaper cleans windows better than paper towels?


I'll let you figure this out out alone...

Buzz Aldrin was the first man to pee on the moon.



NOTE: Folio Olio gets enough hits now that I could could make my beer money with a few ads. I ask you, Gentle Readers, would that be tacky?
Leave a comment if you don't like the idea, otherwise I will take it a unbridle enthusiasm. 


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

As long as you ONLY spend it on beer.

Anonymous said...

As an almost daily reader who has read every page of your blog, I would love to somehow provide you beer money.

Anonymous said...

Go for the gusto. Get it?

Anonymous said...

The ads would be annoying as shit but as long as it pays for beer, everybody is a whore for something. KCCO

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