MONDAY #1474

Science needs a public relations department...

There is no need to confuse the shit out of the same people you are asking for money to explore. Why not speak with one voice when asked if Voyager 1 has left the solar system and simply say, "We don't know yet."
That's the problem with naming the initial expansion the big bang. Giving ignorant motherfuckers the old "and then from nothing came everything" argument.
And whoever coined the Higgs the "God Particle" ought to be forced to take PR remedial classes...on his own time....on weekends. 

AND IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS...
There have been so many untimely upsets in the NCAA Basketball Tourney, that of 8 million ESPN brackets, not one had a perfect score in round one. That's extraordinary.

Also, the USA soccer team beat Costa Rica 1-0 in a World Cup qualifier in Colorado on Friday night....in the middle of a blizzard. The snow was blowing horizontal, you couldn't see the lines. None of the players wore earmuffs, while the fans looked ready for an Arctic expedition. 
In the second half the referee stopped the game and all thinking was that he would abandon the game for the night, but after talking to the players, who all wanted to continue, the game progressed.

I love photos like this...

My mind shifts into overdrive. Seeing the returning wounded war veterans struggling up the stairs, hesitant to yell for his parents. The two police officers slowing advancing with news of an unexpected death. A little boy sitting on the steps waiting for Grandpa. A new mother bringing her daughter home for the first time. A favorite uncle taking a header and expiring on the landing, his arm bent back behind his head like that guy in Deliverance. 
All once treading these exact same stairs. 

Foldable motorcycles that can be dropped in with paratroopers....

You would think that would be such a good idea that I would have heard of them before now.

If you run with your hands flat and perpendicular to your arms, like this guy, I've got some news for you...

They say that people who kill themselves never regret it.

I have three hair styles: Clean, Dirty and Homeless.

My wife sent this to me. I have no idea as to what it means...

...but I can only take it as her suggesting a new sexual position.

This is just too fucking weird to comment on...

Charging horses will not deliberately stampede over a group of men. I bet you didn't know that...

TECH SUPPORT: "I'm sorry you're having difficulty using a service that millions of other people are using without issue."

And she is one of my heroes.

My buddy told me that he didn't finish reading my blog on his phone that day because that morning he had pooped too fast.
Ewwwwww.

 In my state, if there wasn't culling from hunting, deer would over run the state, resulting in this happening during a thousand morning commutes.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

Hot dogs being made...

Disgusted? Then get off your fat ass and go shoot something for dinner.

One of my very own...

Soccer player was expelled forever for doing this...

Whatever...

Wonderful photographs of repetition...

This is why it is important to learn to drive like James Bond...

When life gives you lemons, punch it in the dick until it doesn't.


Let's not panic yet...

There is a car company that used a 3D printer to create the parts for its latest prototype. It took four days instead of four months.

This is not a bad idea...

With age I became less ego-driven, but not by choice. 

OOMVO...

Had we been born elsewhere...

The odds are very, very high that this kid will grow up to shave his head just like his father.

 It would never occur to him to question the practice.

I kind of find that sad. I question everything, but maybe I ought to question my freedom to question.

"...to sooth the savage beast," indeed...

...I want some of what she had.

Nobody has it all figured out.
(that is my mantra)

National treasures always have such nice smiles...

TRUE: A Syrian doctor said that after watching other doctors and nurses torturing wounded resistance fighters, he decided to defect.
I find that so fucking sad.
Did you know that it all began when a couple of teenagers were arrested for spray painting anti-government slogans.

Take my money....please...

What an image! What a thought!

The running guy pulled a little prank (tossing glitter) on the guy in the leather jacket. The guy in the striped shirt, I guess, assumed the guy was a fleeing thief. Anyway, this is what happened in France...

WARNING: Do. Not. Fuck. With. The. Guy. In. The. Striped. Shirt.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
This man immigrated from Lebanon when he was a young man. He opened a deli in my neighborhood in 1978. He works every day he's open...six days a week. His name is Andy and Andy remembers every customer's favorite order and starts writing it before you order.
He greets every man with "Hello, my friend" and every woman with "Hello, my dear" and it never sounds rehearsed. It always sounds like he means it.

Another thing that amazes me is that he hasn't changed his menu in 35 years. Think about that a minute.
The first time I walked in there I ordered corned beef on rye with swiss cheese. He shook his head and said, "No, no, no. You want pastrami on rye with swiss cheese. Much better." I did and it was.
Now look at that gallon glass jug on the counter...the one covered in hundreds of pieces of colorful paper where customers are allowed to write whatever they want. The jar is full of "tips" but it's really a place where he can pluck out a few pennies to help with making change.
Well, one day I was standing there and noticed that lying right on top was a buffalo nickel. I had no change, but my buddy gave me a nickel to swap. So I took the buffalo nickel without asking permission. Even though I replaced it with another nickel, I've felt guilty about that for 30 years.