FOLIO OLIO: MONDAY #1507

KIND OF NEWSY STUFF...

And yet we do nothing...

Here's my girl going for another world record...

By "track gunfire" they mean where it came from and how far away it was....

The Boston Bombing was a race related crime.

Saw an article in the news today "teen commits suicide after receiving death threat".
Isn't that kind of like a "You can't fire me, I quit" thing?

This is not the man to fuck with...

This is Roy Rogers. He was real big when I was a kid.

My best friend's name was Harry Rodgers...with a D...but that didn't stop his dad from telling us that he was Roy's cousin. Then he had a friend call the house and pretend to be the famous TV cowboy. We never did catch on.

This, Gentle Reader, is one of the saddest things I've ever seen...

Dreams are like getting flashbacks from things you don't remember doing.

When the stress of her life became more than she could bear, she secreted herself in the stairs behind the garden.

The stairs proximity to the world...the real world beyond the gate...gave her, no matter how fleeting, a since of freedom.
It was seated upon these stairs that her hand, for whatever reason, slid up her thigh and lingered in the pleasure of her moisture for the first time. She had no way of knowing that the stableboy, perched high on the wall, spied on her as often as he could.
His own release was deposited into a white lace handkerchief she had left upon the stairs when but a child, and after years of use, it was this handkerchief, lovingly cleaned and ironed, that he wrapped and placed on the gift table at her wedding.
Then he could let go of her and move on.

When a man has two daughters, this sort of statement makes more and more sense...

I wonder why people don't sing Happy Birthday to the baby when it is born.

When beauty mattered...

Think of marriage as your appearance on a reality competition show called "So you think you can stand this person".

Gang fight?

Can you name any one of the five presidents not buried on US soil?

This is how I feel every time someone asked me for a number...

...like my age.

The people who say "Just be yourself" obviously don't know me.

Here are the presidents not buried on US soil...

Russians in weightless aircraft play Kick The Cat...

And, yes, that is a live cat.

This guy was in a movie I watched. He looks exactly like my young friend, Billy....

Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.

Wife: I wish someone would ask me how I feel just once.
Me: How do you feel?
Wife: I don't want to talk about it.

I am truly impressed...

Out of all the Morgan Freeman films I've seen, I've never seen him young.

The bride said she wanted a fairytale wedding, but when I showed up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm a jerk.

If you give a dog a bone, she'll eat for a day. If you teach a dog to bone you'll be arrested.

Does this sound excessive to you?

And who the fuck cares if the guy wants to have sex with his dog. There is no evidence that it hurts the animal. Why are such laws necessary?

From my most trusted advisor...

New C-note...

WARNING TO ALL MEN!
Women are using date rape drugs called blow jobs to lure men into scams called relationships.

Sometimes it's to your advantage for people to think you are crazy.

Polls prove Americans are much more fearful than they need be. Example: 40% think a family member is likely to be involved in a terror attack....