WEDNESDAY #1484

Just got back from a new bar, called "Bar None", which is cool. Every other Tuesday they have smoked chicken wings. Tonight was my first time tasting them.
To me, a "new" bar is somewhere where everyone doesn't know my name and I don't yet know which patrons are at least tolerable.
Bar None is owned and operated (which is always a good idea) by a man named Marty; a delightful, good humored man who knows just enough about everything to listen to you discuss it.
Anyway, wings delivered, I told him they were magnificent. He said that every night they serve them they sell out 600 pounds of them. He also commented that 10 of the big wings were a lot to eat for most people.
Then the capitalist in me kicked in. I told him that if he always sold out of something, then his price is too low. Further, if he already knew that it was a huge meal that some people found difficult to finish, then his portions are too big. 
He seemed to appreciate my advice.
>
There was a huge spread in our local newspaper about my dear friend, Adriane...

The wife and I are thinking seriously about going to see her compete.

I am so very, very jaded by bullshit shows on networks like History, Science, Discovery, etc, that when I saw the name of a new show, "Alien Encounters", it made me very skeptical. You can't throw a dead cat without hitting an alien show on once "educational" channels.
I was delightfully surprised.
Using experts in every field you can imagine, the show examines what would happen when we make contact with aliens.
One of the things that I found totally logical, is that the first signals featured a series of numbers - 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, etc - which is the design model of choice for nature.
This is an example...

 I strongly recommend Alien Encounters.

I pride myself that I have NOT seen that Wade kid breaking his leg...

 I still cringe remembering Joe Montana's break.
This reaction of his bench was enough to let me know I had no business watching what they are reacting to...

Another thought about this prick...

This is the F-22 Raptor. It has not been tested in combat.

There are two F-22's stationed in South Korea. Don't you just know the generals are itching to get it in the game to see what it can do...trial by fire, as it were. Scary, that.

The answer to most of life's problems...

I am old enough to know better.
But young enough to do it anyway.


Said to be the world's largest horse. I wonder if his record still holds...

Kiss the pope's ring? He can kiss my ass.

I say two keys came with the lock. He used one to unlock the lock and left the other like that just to fuck with people.

I knew exactly what she is saying and how she is saying it...

I bet you did, too.

It's nice they get to practice, right......right?

The only time I got concerned during a prostate exam, was when I felt both my doctor's hands on my shoulders.

Headline...

Scanxiety: The feeling you get when waiting for a cancer test.


Things that make me smile...every time...

My wife bought a hoodie in New York like that one. Every time she sits down for dinner with it on, I ask her where she got it. Every time she looks down and curses that I tricked her again.

When will we ever learn? Why is increasing liberty such a long drawn out process?

What part of WE The People don't you understand?

People were asked what they think a fair distribution of wealth would be, and the bottom bar shows it.
Then they were asked what they thought it really was.
Then they were presented with the truth.

Here's another way to look at it. The bottom is symbols of 100 people at various strata in our society...

Their wealth couldn't even fit on the fucking chart...

The 1% guy's wealth on the bottom far right is four times higher than the chart.

If only we could tax the wages of sin.

 Two from my home state of South Carolina...

My brother took being sent to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces.

I never played Monopoly with him after that.

Watching a movie where a guy opened a cold beer and the first thing he does after the first swig was to place it atop a hot stove.
I don't think so...

One of the sites I visit had a contest: 
What would be the three weirdest things you could take to checkout at Walmart....these are my vote for most clever...

Two images of Syrian Opposition...

These guys are practicing living on Mars...

That's actually the way I figured it would be had my car broken down while driving through Nevada or whatever fucked up place they are in.

How do they know this?

Aren't they just breathing canned air?

(my daughter will love this)

I love shit like this...

One of my very own...

I wonder what this guy's next job was...

So, how was your commute...

I asked Google which is grammatically correct: An hallucination or a hallucination.
Take your pick, later in this post I will tell you what I learned, but I can almost guarantee you, you are correct.

TRUE: When I came home from Europe, my mom asked if I would mind sitting at the same lunch table as the black woman who helped her clean. I told her of course not, but when I, with my long hair and beard, sat down, the maid got up and left with an over the shoulder, "I ain't sittin' with no hippie."

I bet you miss this the first time...

If you were lost in the forest and were about to die, would you set the forest on fire to bring help? As I understand it, there have been people prosecuted for doing just that. I think I would set the fire, but I also think I am good enough of a liar to convince them the signal fire I built got out of hand.


Never moving from a point in mid-air.....damn!

The A and the An hallucination are both correct depending on the sound you give the beginning syllable, which changes with dialect.

But that consciousness doesn't make us special. Just because we have a brain that yearns for "meaning" doesn't mean there is any. We respond to our environment just like amoebae responds to light or some such shit.

I could argue that everyone is farting around (see trinkets from another post)....especially the philosophers. The only thing a philosopher knows for sure, is that their ideas will be laughed at by future generations who have their own people to explain everything....wrongly.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
My daughter warned me against making fun of Muslims in my blog, fearing retribution. I laughed and told her that what a story that would be to tell my grandchildren: "How did grandpa die, mommy?" "Some pissed off Muslims cut his head off for making jokes about them."
Yesterday my wife told me this story:
A husband and wife owned a Korean restaurant near my wife's stores. Last week the husband died and there was a local fundraising to pay for the funeral and other expenses. Then the woman went to a natural burial site (where they simply place your shroud-wrapped body into a shallow grave) to pick out a site, she learned that the local Roller Derby Queens (the girl kind not the buttfucking kind) had already purchased it for him.
"Mommy, where is Grandpa buried?"
"Oh, he's out in the natural burial site the Roller Derby Queens bought for him."
That's fucking awesome.