ADVENTURER’S LOG: EARTH CYCLE ELEVEN - WEDNESDAY #1695

HELENA, MONTANA

This is what the sky looked like in Havre, Montana at 10 pm. That's rather strange...

My wife called me to show me the view out our motel room's bathroom window...

 "Momma, where's my blue toy race car?"
"It's on top of the console TV in the back yard. Praise the lord."

Here's thatT-shirt I bought...

 Here was his six women jury...

I heard a young female black attorney say, "A few scratches ain't gonna make nobody think they are going to die."

If her boyfriend did this to her, I wonder if she would call it a "few scratches".

Hwy 2 west leads through a whole region of resorts AND we would have had to drive over the mountains on a two lane road...not good. So we too a side road to the interstate.

On this road I found this...

 That little thing on the fence...

....is knife No. 127.

The reason I thought the cemetery sign interesting is that it was on this road, which led off into infinity.

 My qestion is, don't you think that anybody who needs to know where the cemetery is, already knows?
And in case you're interested...

That is, by far, my favorite installation. It was perfect.

We got on the interstate just in time...Rocky Mountains in the distance...

There are more hay bales than you can imagine. I assume that the ranchers use a good portion of their land to grow hay so that they can feed the cattle in the snow covered winter...

For hundreds of miles they don't mow the shoulder of the road, they bale it...

 Saw this today and couldn't figure out if it's a butte or a mesa. It's a mesa.

 These are buttes...

The happy couple...

By the way, what does it say about the imagination of the man who named those mountains, The Rocky Mountains....duh. It would be like a Watery Lake, the Dry Desert, or the Grassy Plains.

They have our old friend cattle guards at each exit to keep the wildlife (and, I guess, cattle) off the interstate.

 This apparently scares the holy shit out of them...

 So I tagged it, but it wasn't special enough to "Utensilize"...

Utensilize....I made that up...and think it very clever.

In case you are interested...

In Helena, saw this hitchhiker while at a stop light. His feet were black with filth. I told my wife to photograph him and she said, "No. I'm not going to invade his privacy!" I said, "What privacy? He's standing on a public fucking sidewalk!"
Then I took the picture out her window...

She also lamented, "People probably think he's a drug addict." I said, "He IS a fucking drug addict!"

My miracle worker of a wife found us a back-up-to-the-door smoking motel room. And the Wifi booster is directly above our door...

It was a short drive today, which afforded us time to stop wherever the fuck we wanted. Today we stoped at an old gas station (the floor was real wood) and next door was a "museum" that sold dinosaur fossils. I had a pocket bulging with cash, but alas, it was closed for repairs.

My wife is taking the direct approach in trying to drive me crazy. Now she has started squealing like a snake bit little girl every time I pass a car or truck.


NOW FOR OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED LUNACY

Quite frankly, I don't think I understand this...

From an article on the evolution of the femal bathing suit...

Ever want to shock someone? If they ask you if you know so and so, say "Yeah, he used to suck my dick in prison."
They ALWAYS blink several times before they realize you are kidding.

If you raise your kids to believe everything they do is great, they will perform horribly in the real world.

Why do we elect stupid people over and over and over again?

Remember those Mayan pyramids that the contruction companies tore down? They did it to extract crushed rock for a road-building project.

I would love to have been a location director for movies...

If you invite me to a party and you have snacks and a cat, I will find a way to wipe my hands on your cat...and make it look like petting.

Misuse of "literally" makes me figuratively insane.

I see what you did there...

Books are the cheapest vacation you can buy.

(that was a spoof)

My computer's low battery warning is the only warning I take seriously.


Never go full retard...

Nobody appreciates how hard I try not to become a raging psychopath.


Another intern's handiwork?

Sometimes I swing by the police department just to make sure I still have the high score on Breathalyzer.


Shit like this sort of thing happens to me all the time...

On a long trip, I would show my kids a large bag of candy, and tell them that when we got to our destination they could have what was left. Then I would hang it from the rear-view mirror and every time they misbehaved I would take a piece of candy and throw it out the window.
Remember, folks, we are not only bigger than they are, we are smarter than they are.

(that was a spoof)

That "phonetically" doesn't start with an F is the reason aliens fly straight past us.


1930 prediction....true...

"We never notice the beauty because we are too busy trying to create it."
I don't know what that means, but it's a real cool thing to tell art students.

Why doesn't anyone ever say, "I bet he's down there looking up at us?" I mean think of the odds. By my calculations there are only three...maybe four people up in heaven anyway.

During the day I don't believe in ghosts. At night I'm a little more open-minded.

This is fucking true, ya'll...

HOMELESS MAN SENTENCED TO HOUSE ARREST

The most interesting man on the internet....true stuff, this...

I bet it wasn't 24 hours after the invention of the motion picture camera that a man came up with taking pictures of naked women...

Have you ever thought about the fact that 6 people died because Romeo couldn't control his dick?


(this should have gone into yesterday's post)

Anytime anyone asks, "Can I ask you a question?" I say, "This is a bad time for me. Ask me again when I'm not feeling so honest."

I try to put the fun in functioning alcoholic.

This is called "sagging". I looked it up. It means your fucking ship is bending. The crew all got off before it sank.

Question: Some of these things are sealed, so they will float, like, forever. As I understand it, whoever finds them can claim them. Am I right?

This motherfucker crashed into the car.

I wonder how long it took the humans to get their own shit out of the car.
If you watch carefully, I think you can see the poor bastard staggering off to the left at the end.
I think those are springboks. I have a springbok hide in my studio. I did some research and there are more springboks now than there has ever been...ever. I assume it's because of the lack of predators.