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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

SUNDAY'S WHEN THING GO TO SHIT #2065



I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off. 


Taliban terrorists stopped a convoy of minibuses traveling through western Afghanistan, questioned the passengers, then pulled all the Shiites into the road and shot them dead...

The Islamic militants then demanded to know which riders were Shiite. Fourteen were identified — including three women. The terrorists then bound their hands and led them off the bus and down the road.
The 14 were shot and killed.
The other passengers were allowed to continue their journey.

***********

Not hard to tell which side American media is on...

But, as always, there are two sides to every story...

These are Israelis mourning the death of a comrade...
 These are Palestinians mourning the death of a comrade...
 ...and the hate grows by the hour.

Remember this from yesterday?
 Such things as that makes getting all your soldiers back a priority.

***********

South Africa's animal rights body is probing the death of a giraffe that was reportedly injured as it was being transported on a motorway. Eyewitnesses say the giraffe, one of two on a truck, hit its head on a bridge on Johannesburg's N1 motorway.

************

Ebola...
 Ever wonder how you die if you get it?

***********

Read an article about modern young people...
The room of the modern person is stark, but in its simplicity it exudes wealth and sophistication. There is just an iPad and a simple bed or futon. None of the old-time accouterments [sic], which signified intelligence, artistic interest, or a curiosity about the world, are evident. There are no magazines, books, or records anywhere. Just perhaps some high priced toiletries in the bathroom. Everything they need is on the iCloud.


************


New Calculations Suggest that the Speed of Light May Be 0.0000003% Slower Than We Thought.


************


French hospital to open wine bar in bid to improve the lives of terminally ill patients.




A FULL POST OF THESE THAT GO WRONG...USUALLY ON MULTIPLE LEVELS.






We've all had days like this, haven't we...

Love will always find a way...



"So, what are you gonna do about it?"
 Did you notice him realigning his mirror?



Subtle fuck-up...


And only a few bruises...

 Those are sunglasses hanging from his collar.












????

No...sweet Jesus, no...


This son of a bitch has seen it all...
 That was an extraordinary response to a baby being taken away by a balloon!



 He may have jumped them, but then he busted his ass.

???






I hope you stayed for the credits.

We all have a sister-in-law like this, don't we....
I do.


Oh, shit...




 I'm betting the truck driver is doing the same thing as this bus driver...



And is my habit, I saved the best until the last...


SILENCE IS CONSENT.


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