New format adjustment...
Got old man's pimples on my nose. Dermatologist gave me a prescription for a $280 tube of cream for nose. I declined.
And then there's this prick...
It didn't start with this completely inappropriate, embarrassing incident...
If I were the VP, I would not fuck with this lady.
This is Dr. Brady, a three year old who "examines" my wife and all of her staff while Brady's mother shops. He asks them a bunch of questions and offers advice.
I had an old patient chart folder and put his name on it for him. He loves it...of course.
LET'S MAKE SOME FUCKING MUSIC!!!
Remember, no matter what you did to celebrate Valentine’s
Day, It will never be as good as what Al Capone did to celebrate Valentine’s
Day.
I am guilty of that very thing.
Siberian scientists (and
residents) are concerned about flooding resulting from climate change as the
permafrost disappears. "The process of warming in Siberia goes faster than
elsewhere; it is not just hypothesis, there is data and observational evidence
to prove it. Siberia is warming faster than any other place in the world,"
11th century Siberian warrior
with bear fang embedded in his nose.
Archeologists are intrigued
by the discovery of the complete set of well-preserved bone armor which is
seen as having belonged to an 'elite' warrior. The armor was in 'perfect
condition' — and in its era was 'more precious than life,' say experts. It was
buried separate from its owner and no other examples of such battle dress have
been found around Omsk. Analysis is expected to determine its exact age but
Siberian archeologists say it dates from 3,900 to 3,500 years ago...
A 250-foot crater of unknown
depth mysteriously appeared in Siberia’s Yamal peninsula, the Siberian Times
reports, and scientists today are headed over to investigate. Researchers have
already ruled out a meteorite as a potential cause. Same goes, presumably, for
UFOs, as some suggested. A more likely explanation, according to Anna
Kurchatova, with the Sub-Arctic Scientific Research Centre, could have to do
with the thawing of Siberia’s permafrost, a consequence of global warming. The
rapid release of gas previously trapped in the ice, she said, could have
combined with sand beneath the surface to form an underground explosion...
You might want to research that.
The biscuit cutter was
invented in 1875 by Alexander P. Ashbourne, an African-American inventor and
dry goods grocer from Oakland, California.
I know it's Black History Month and all, but the article said: "It was very similar to a cookie cutter only it was used for biscuits."
Is that the best we can do?
Got a little drunk last night and decided to do my own
taxes and guess what! I’m getting $4 million back this year.
One of my bartenders got a new car (a "new" used car) and said that after 5 years it was the first time any of her windows roll down.
And you think you have problems.
She is also the only fat vegetarian I have ever met.
Las Vegas.
Looks kind of like a circuit board, don't it?
A proactive Australian
anti-vaxxer named Stephanie Messenger self-published a children’s book called
“Melanie’s Marvelous Measles.” With the book, Messenger endeavored to “educate
children on the benefits of having measles and how you can heal from them
naturally and successfully.”
“Don’t overlook the lesser
known Dr. Seuss books in this series – ‘Horton hears an air raid siren’, ‘Oh
the places you’ll itch’, ‘How the Grinch caught Chlamydia’, ‘And to Think That
I Contracted It on Mulberry Street’, ‘Skull Fracture Mayzie’, ‘Hop on your
remaining foot’, ‘The 500 days in ICU of Bartholomew Cubbins’, and ‘If I Ran
the Mortuary.’”
Want to hear a football story?
A 17-year-old has undergone
what is believed to be the world's first surgical penis-reduction procedure
after it grew so big he was unable to play sport. His penis, which measured 10
inches in circumference when flaccid and was described by doctors as being
shaped "like an American football," severely restricted his ability
to play sport, have sex or wear normal clothes.
Salty Dawg Saloon is a
popular watering hole in Homer Spit in Homer, Alaska...
Every visitor leaves a dollar bill with their name on it.
I feel a great disturbance in the force…
80 year old Charlie has called off the wedding to this lovely woman...
After he found out she was planning on putting his body in a glass display after he died and selling tickets to look at it. And I shit you not.
Kleptocratic Corporatism…you might want to look that up.
Melting glaciers in northern
Italy reveal corpses of WW1 soldiers...
Sex education done right...
Activities at Siberia's first
Festival of Colors, modeled after the Hindu festival Holi. Participants daubed
each other with paint and colored water in a mass frolic of color. They also
hosed each other and jumped into the vats with colored water. There were
performances of acrobats and jugglers and all visitors could make a mehendi, a
temporary henna tattoo. Organizer Anatoly Koptev said: 'The idea of the
festival was met with such a great response that we ended up welcoming a lot
more people than we expected; at some point we ran out of paint and had to
bring an extra truckload in.
But doesn't that look like a painting?
I bet he would have if he could have...
The best defense an idiot can come up with...
All throughout North America
there are trees that are peculiarly bent out of shape, but they are not some
quirks of nature. Rather, they were intentionally shaped by the Native
Americans so that they could be easily recognized. They are called Trail Marker
Trees, and the natives used them as a marking system to denote areas of
importance such as sources of food and water.
I had one of these in my neighborhood growing up, less than a mile from a pure water spring. We called it Crooked Tree because it was...well, crooked.
From the greatest coach to ever play the game...
Remember how I can't get over the possibility that soon the pictures hanging on our walls will move like gifs? Well, this is close...
Remember all the stories about a sinking ship "pulling down" people who jump overboard?
Well, I saw an explanation of that. You see those air bubbles in the photo above? Well, imagine the amount of air released from a sinking ship. Now imagine that air has zero ability to keep you afloat. I saw it demonstrated with a large tank of water with rubber duckies floating. Then they released some air into the bottom of the tank and all the duckies sank.
Had we been born elsewhere...
Warriors with sass.
The evidence...
Cold weather mural in Hawaii of all places...
25 years ago, Voyager I
turned around to take a photo of Earth on its way to Saturn. You are looking at
it. Our planet—3.7 billion miles away from the spacecraft—is that tiny pale
blue dot, "a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam." It is one of the
most important photos ever taken.
My Final Word...
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