About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

THURSDAY #2631

One Of My Very Own…
“Oh, Josepi, you are so romantic.”

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 




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Most of those people on the internet who say they are leaving the country if Trump is elected don’t have the financial resources to move out of their parents’ home.
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Leslie Moonves, the chief executive of CBS, shared a candid view of the presidential race on Monday: “It may not be good for America, but it’s damn good for CBS.”

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If Drumpf is elected it will be interesting to see which one of these guys tops out the crazy meter.



I watched Drumpf’s speech and I have never seen a more uncomfortable man as this guy. It was pathetic.


And it seems I’m not the only one to have noticed.

And here’s what the internet has to say about it: 
Chris Christie spent the entire speech screaming wordlessly. I have never seen someone scream so loudly without using his mouth before. It would have been remarkable if it had not been so terrifying.

He had the face of a man who has used his third wish and realized too late that “may my family never starve” could be twisted to mean that the genie should murder his entire family...


Soon he must return to the small cupboard under the stairs where he is kept and occasionally thrown small slivers of metaphorical raw meat...



Do y’all get that? It involves this guy…





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The FBI trying to get inside one iphone.

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Let's take a moment to warmly welcome back Cmdr. Scott Kelly who just landed back to Earth after spending 340 days in space.



And this is what reentry looks like out the window.




….-<{o0O0o}>-….
PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING

I watched a woman make a pot just like this.
She used a coil pot method, whereby she rolled out clay in a “snake”, then joined it to the top of the pot. She smoothed it by walking around in what looked like, and she called, her dance. After the pot was finished it was allowed to dry then placed on the ground. Then wood was placed all around it and set ablaze. The baked then cooled pot would not leak water, which was the whole point of the exercise. The woman I watched did not have a child on her back.

One lucky bastard…

Did you notice the ambulance strategically placed off field? Now we know why.

Guy stops runaway go-cart with his bare hands.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Miss Olga Korbut.
If I’m not mistaken, that is her perfect 10 performance.

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From time to time it occurs to me just how vast the human appetite truly is. We eat everything we can, we dig away whole mountains to get at ore, and, well, this reminds me of what we do to forest just because it makes beautiful furniture.

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I’m pretty sure that whole thing was your fault.

- My wife

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No info on size, but I would have to guess half life size of a real steer.

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My wife told me she'd rather they "pull the plug" than let her live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger.

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I have been paid to paint numerous trains. The trick is getting the shadows right.
…even the rivets.

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Taking care of a newborn baby means devoting yourself, body and soul, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to the welfare of someone whose major response, in the way of positive reinforcement, is to throw up on you.

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Why doesn’t someone seriously advocate this?
We all know a woman looks more beautiful if she is smiling, so why don’t we teach them to fake it?

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Just because…

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Every relationship has a talker and a pretend listener.

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When all you want is a little place in the forest…


When all you want is a little place in the forest…
…with heating and AC and Wifi and cable and running water, of course...for the spa and pool.

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Taking kiddy animals and slicing them in pieces seem to be a thing. I have one in my city.
But all of these murals can’t be by the hand of the one guy who first thought it up. That makes all the others copy cats. I can’t justify it.

And worse, painting a picture of something like this.
That’s just flat out theft.
How can anyone call themselves an artist without designing something new…that’s what artists do.
I make objects for the storage, transportation or display of US currency. Had I seen anything even similar to that concept before I started, I could have never done it….somebody thought it up first.

Back to Sponge Bob: In my art classes, children are taught that somebody “owns” images like that and you should ask them before you borrow it. That worked very well.

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I once bought a very old sewing machine and made some art with it. I found the way it worked fascinating.
It felt almost alive.

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I hate it when people ask me if I forgot my medication.

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This is a delightful image.
I posted about how a photograph was documentation of one moment in time, and I guess I agree with that, although it should still be appraised with the same elements of design as anything else.

Soon these will be adorning walls all over the world…and I can hardly wait.



That was very well done….but. Look at the scene above the black front door, up under the stairs. There seems to be a cat or something that just disappears. Any guesses?

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Two men (brothers, I think) posted a series of images supposedly depicting a woman quitting her job with white board notes. It went viral and they got famous, so famous they started the Chive.
When I first started blogging, I stole a lot of material from the Chive, but sadly they went commercial…big time. They have their own beer, for Christ’s sake. Now 80% of their site is them trying to get me to buy a T-shirt.
If I ever get that way, please shoot me.

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Donald Pleasence - Royal Air Force-WW2-served with 166 Squadron bomber command, shot down, placed in the German POW camp Stalag Luft I (Actor) photo shown is in POW camp.

WWI: A Century Later

Verdun battlefield that still bears the scars of shell impact craters.

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My wife has put me on an exercise program, but all I do is let the dog run around the yard while wearing my Fitbit.

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It's a ciliate eat ciliate world.

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You ever been so bored at work that you started working just to help pass the time?

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At first one thinks…nice tattoos…

Then you notice the toe.
I’m not sure I would want to bring attention to that, but maybe that’s just me.

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By now you all know how I feel about such mistakes, but not just the mistake. All of these things are fixable, yet they were not fixed. That is the sin here.




And what you had no way of knowing is that I am just as quick to notice and enjoy things like this.

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My young daughter once referred to a beaver as a "wood-eater". So I mulled it over in my mind for a bit and it would seem she was correct on two levels.

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More Earthporn…
Look at his hat and sweater, then at the landscape again.

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Would one of you people who is smarter than I please explain the argument for keeping the penny.
And as luck would have it, I ran across this. Short and explains just how insane it is.

If you don’t have the time, it boils down to the mining interests who give tons of money to congressmen. True.

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Just something to think about.
 

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I once used a yoga DVD as a coaster for my beer.

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I have a friend who ended up with an Olympic torch. Well, technically it was a back-up torch, but still.
I didn’t know that everywhere the torch went that there was another torch in case someone dropped the first one in the lake or whatever. Anyway, my friend got one of those and I am impressed.

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Just doing my part to make you less stupid.

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Someone left a comment several days ago asking me to, more or less, prove that I had seen gifs of various attacks that were reported to be by Muslims on innocent Europeans and the news media ignored it. Sadly, I have not been able to come across another example. I will keep looking, but it may have just been a spate of them posted at one time never to reappear.

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A couple of really good ideas…
That is a beautiful coffee maker. Notice the heat source. No word on why the old guy is naked.
I will let this next one speak for itself.


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If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first?

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Dog patiently fishes with floating bread…
It might just be me, but fishing is one of the most boring activities mankind has ever undertaken. Watching someone fish is even more boring than that. But watching a dog fish has got to be the ultimate in boringness.

However, with that said, I found that amusing. Is that even legal?

Speaking of fresh fish…
DAYUM!

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Every once in a while I like to look in the mirror and say, “Hey, you, thanks for all the handjobs.”

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