About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2705

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



You ever wonder what a man with a new penis looks like?

The transplant organ came from a deceased donor (as you might imagine). But the question begs asking - does he get to approve the penis? I mean, did they bring him a collection of acceptable donors arrayed on a tray so that he could pick the one he wants? If so, what parameters do you think goes into his selection protocol? Don't you want to know?

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EPA Fines Man $16 Million For Building A Backyard

Andy Johnson of Fort Bridger, Wyoming had a 40 x 300-foot pond built on his property pictured above. All of the proper state permits were obtained, but the EPA fined him $37,500 for every day it existed.
When we think of the EPA we normally have very positive thoughts about clean air and cleaning up industrial waste and such. But the EPA is one of those monsters who make up their own rules. No member of congress voted on the rules they make. The EPA just...makes...them...up. Look it up.

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Democrats changing the rules to keep Sanders out. This is an outrage and nobody seems to give a shit.



Of course they will, darling, of course they will.



I love shit like this.



I like that guy.



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There is no 'we' in fried chicken.

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First of all, we see this in all splinter groups...

I credit that type of collective uniformity to explain graffiti writers' unwavering dedication to a done-to-death style. And remember grown men and women, if a child can do it, you may want to reevaluate it's complexity.

Here some other ways to create graffiti writing.




On a similar note, here is a clever way to us a drainage pipe...


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I went to the doctor today and was diagnosed as colorblind. That came right out of the purple.

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You think this is insulting?


Well, because of ads like this your mom or grandmother bought those by the millions. And I bet you ladies are now still following the dictates of Madison Avenue in exactly the same way...it is the way you were programmed by women who were similarly programmed.

There is a reason politicians spend billions on advertising. It works.

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Taking a shit is a worthy topic to discuss if you are short on material.
Homemade shit-anywhere solution to an age old problem.

But closer to home, I have been cursing the design of my home toilets since my unfortunate incident. All of them are too damn low. This is the proper tried and true comfortable height for anything to be sat upon.

It is at the same level where the average knee bends.
So why is the normal home toilet so low? Probably to accommodate small children. But it is not an insurmountable problem to teach a child how to get in a chair, so why to we stoop to their level (literally) when it comes to bathroom fixtures?
(I thought the phrase "stoop to their level" fine phrasing)

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I post similar things to this from time to time.

Oh, it doesn't matter the topic; what matters is a reminder that you have been lied to your whole life...over and over again. I know you are all smart, thinking individuals, but we have all been fooled, and awakening to the subterfuge is painful. Nobody likes to be told they are wrong. But I did changed my mind on racism and homophobia...and Christianity. It can be done if you seek truth more than you love comfort.

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This reminds me of a true story.

A Danish cruise ship was scheduled to sail out of an American port for the first time. The first thing their demographics told them was that they had to replace all the furniture with something more...robust. Due, of course, to the weight of the average American cruise ship passenger.

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Worth the rather long read:


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This is part of a film about a river in Australia next to a massive fracking operation. The man just rowed out in the river and set it on fire.


After his demonstration he tried to put it out, but his efforts proved futile.


So, he just left it burning.


Boy, I wish we had had some advice about how we should treat our planet....




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"You are a grown ass woman, you don't need to be an emotional time bomb every fucking month" is not an appropriate thing to say to your wife when she is on her period. Trust me.

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Officially, 1209 North Orange is home to Apple, American Airlines, Coca-Cola, Walmart and dozens of other companies in the Fortune 500 list of America’s biggest companies. Being registered in Delaware lets companies take advantage of strict corporate secrecy rules, business-friendly courts and the “Delaware loophole”, which can allow companies to legally shift earnings from other states to Delaware, where they are not taxed on non-physical incomes generated outside of the state.

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Found these on a new site. I so hope they are authentic.





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I have abs....olutely no stomach muscles.

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Two men I would love to have a beer with.


But then I found this. Pay attention.







The ankle acts like the knee and when they walk with a prosthetic you can't detect anything odd.

My reaction to the film.


You might want to Youtube that. It will be well worth the time.

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When you think about it, these would be a good idea in every home for pests control.

"Feed me, Seymour!"
I think that would be a hoot.

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Grandpa still got game.


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My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on the side of my bed thinking about how tired I still am.

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Lake went down. They spotted something near the bank.






The 27-metric-ton tank had been at the bottom of the lake for 56 years!

And it was in perfect condition.

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The best way to win every discussion is to add, "Well, you believe that now..."

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I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him faster. If anything it made him more sluggish.

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

One thing that has befuddled me about the whole transgender bathroom opposition is that no one has made any comments about the currently "legal" situation of a pedophile male going into a men's bathroom and molesting a boy. Certainly this argument must hold true if they are concerned about a pedophile going into a women's bathroom and molesting a girl. Total incoherence.
bw

Spider Borland said...

My problem with toilet design is that it's a chair you poop in. Like, is that really the best we can come up with?

It's why I'm intrigued by the Squatty Potty... but it's still just a chair you poop in.

Anonymous said...

It would be cool to be able to pick your prick. There could even be a game show.

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