About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, June 27, 2016

MONDAY #2744

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com


For whatever reason I am unable to upload images into this section of my blog. Will try again tomorrow.



>
There are three things that always tell the truth: small children, drunk people and yoga pants.

>
The art of Ben Chen







>
I have a bigger dick than at least half the people on earth.

>
Oh, yes...


>
One time my three year old daughter looked up at me and said, "Why is Piers Morgan so unequivocally douchy?" I didn't know how to respond.

>
MEN











Why? Because I'm an American, by god...






Spot the guy having the most fun.

Such behavior is illegal in some Southern states.

>
Recently discovered species of Jellyfish that looks like it's animated


>
Why, in the name of sanity, does Netflix keep displaying movies I have already seen? They HAVE a "Watch it again" category! And I'm an old man who watches A LOT of movies and I can't remember which I've seen. I'm thinking about registering an agist claim against the corporation and see where that gets me.

>
WOMEN









Wouldn't you love for that last woman to meet this woman...




And...


>
I once wore the same pair of pants for three months because I was too lazy to move the belt from one pair to another.

>
FUN WITH LANGUAGE









>
My favorite fantasy sex is the 9/11 Threesome. That’s when two twins go down on me.

>



Everybody wants to be special, like we actually matter compared to the vastness of the universe. So we invent stuff to reinforce such non-sense...


In India there is a statue of Jesus where water was mysteriously dripping from its toes. Worshipers would collect and sometimes drink the 'holy water'.

A man traced the source of the water to a clogged toilet behind the wall condensing on the statue. He had to flee the country as a result. (TRUE)

>

This reminds me how hard it must be to be an astronaut's brother.

>
A guy received this dollar bill in change.

If a man could get wet, I would be dripping. Imagine me being in charge of a machine that could do that. Seriously, I NEED a machine that does that!

>
I think these are cruise missiles...



>
In my opinion, this half-century old machine is still the most menacing-looking thing that mankind has ever built.


>
I don't think you are supposed to get this close to them.



>
Almost halfway through 2016 and I'm starting to think the Mayans were just off by a few years. 

>
So, let's discuss this...



Not one, but two grocery stores near me had to close because of pilferage. They just happened to be in black neighborhoods. Then there's this advice...


It is not racist to point out facts, like black people commit more crimes than whites. We can certainly discuss whether this is because they are poor or poorly educated, but that's not my point here.
My point is that making an assumption based on how a person looks is a survival skill, whether we like it or not.

>
You need to pay attention and maybe watch it more than once like I did, but I've always been fascinated by simple solutions to complex problems.


















Amazing.

>
Once you realize that you don't need a special occasion to buy a cake, the second part of your life begins.

>





No comments:

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive