About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, February 20, 2017

MONDAY #2983

One Of My Very Own...

Disappointed? Me, too. 
Here's a make-up OOMVO...

EMAIL:

The times they are a changing.


That is the new American mantra.
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Apparently "If you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly" was not the tip this waitress was expecting when she asked how everything was.


SHIT YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAMN DAY

Why wouldn't she walk the other way? 
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I once was in the home of a man who had a plate similar to this, but around it's border read WELCOME TO MYRTLE BEACH, SC.
Well, we all know that they came from China and the order probably read "Use this style plate with every water animal you have." So the Chinese included the Water Buffalo even though there ain't none of them anywhere near Myrtle Beach.
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Believe it or not, I have written several times about dirt roads in old west movies only having two ruts. I posited that there should be three: one for each wheel of the wagons, and one for the horse's hooves. Finally found a demonstration of just that very thing.

Then I found this one in snow that seems to proved it.
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That gal's got a nipple as big as the end of her thumb!

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I pour large amounts of Hershey's chocolate syrup in the almond milk my wife bought.


MEN CAN BE SUCH PRICKS

You think any caveman ever fucked, or tried to fuck, one of his cavemates in the butt? I guess we could look at the great apes for a clue. Anybody know if great apes fuck other apes in the poop hole?
[verification needed]
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I agree up to a point. But I do spend a lot of time telling young people that this is the only life they get and they should make the best of it. 
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How very, very unusual.
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Only a guy would do this.
A label maker was one of the best purchases of my life.
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I bet more people with children get this, as opposed to people without.
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Something always bothered me about this photo from The Shining. What on earth is Jack Nicholson's character holding?
The back of a chair? 
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This lady at the Edible Arrangement store acts like no one's ever asked for a corn dog bouquet before.


GUNS AND GUNNERS

I think we can make some assumptions about this.
There is, in fact, an automated machine to do that, of course, but what about if you are on a mountain top in Bumfuck, Egypt?

But in all honesty, I see no reason to ever have shells NOT in the belt...that's the only way you can use them.
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You need to take the time to appreciate this.

That must be old data cause we have eleven now.
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The top rifle is an example of the finely finished weapons produced by the Third Reich during the heady early years of WW2. Finely finished and profusely stamped this rifle demonstrates the manufacturing excellence the world still expects out of German machinery. In contrast the bottom rifle, produced in the last months of the war, exhibits numerous manufacturing shortcuts designed to get functional weapons out to the front lines as quickly as possible to combat the allied advance.




That is very, very telling.
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This is difficult to watch, but at least the guy lived. For now.

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I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment.


IMPRESSIVE SCIENCE

The small print reminds you that the space station itself is traveling at 17,500 mph.
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An Example of Chaotic Movement using a Pendulus.
Notice first that the "arm" is in three pieces. The only force involved is gravity.
I predict (perhaps erroneously) that given enough time, a pattern will emerge. I'm keen to know.
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A fish tornado looks terrifying.
I suppose the film was speeded up. What say you?
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A couple of views of our local cosmic neighborhood.
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It was stated that this was not some sort of trickery, but I still can't figure out know how it was done.
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Image the guy whose job it is to check out the new images from Hubble and you come across this...making him the first human being to ever see it. 
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This is a wonderful illustration of something I learned about waves. The maximum angle at which a wave can get is 90 degrees, then it crashes. You can see it here.

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Thanks for yelling at me and calling me names on the internet. I have the same opinion as you do now.


CAPTIONS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER

Sadly, true.
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Not to brag, but I can cure my wife's insomnia just by taking my clothes off.


BUT IS IT ART?
OF COURSE IT IS.

First you find a tree.
Then you lay out a spotless canvas.
Then you attach markers to the bottommost twigs and let the breeze do the rest.
The guy said he got the idea by watching the patterns in the snow under weeping willows.
He experimented a lots of different ways.
This one featured a round canvas...
That he cut into wedges...
(click to embiggenize)

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Taco Bell wouldn't be so popular if indoor plumbing didn't exist.


Things we can't let die from idleness...



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In an attempt to build some exercise into my daily routine, I’ve put the beer on a lower fridge shelf. Boy, I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.

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And taking it even further, why are people so concerned about telling other people what to do? Hardly anyone is truly happy anymore, so why not open up as many options as possible.
Example: Why would anybody care if a woman had three or four husbands if they are all of age and agree to it?
Or men.
So, please, somebody help me understand why it is anybody's business, much less the fucking government.


1 comment:

ZippyTheGimp said...

Is it Art? It is only if giving yourself a paint enema and then blowing it on canvas is Art. I don't think either qualifies due to the disintermediation of randomness between the painter and the work.

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