About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

WEDNESDAY #3104

One Of My Very Own...


I forgot to mention, Mastodon tusk found in the melted tundra is call "Ethical Ivory".


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Heard a phrase I had never heard before: Guest Bartender. That's an outside bartender brought in to fill a gap in the schedule.



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I really want to buy a bunch of those stick figure decals and randomly add family members to the windows of unattended vehicles.


THINGS THAT MAY BE TRUE

I call bullshit.

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Again...bullshit.

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The men who did it were reportedly led by an investor in the zoo, who was involved in a dispute with managers.

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Until the 1800's, dentures were often made from the teeth of dead soldiers.

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No one knows who invented the fire hydrant, because its patent was destroyed in a fire.

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The famous Swedish Ice Hotel is now required housing board to include fire alarms, despite being made entirely out of frozen water.

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Human birth control pills work on gorillas.

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All mammals over a certain size (including humans) take approximately 21 seconds to pee.
(And before you protest, I assume that does not include the guy who drank 12 beers, nor the guy with a swollen prostate. It's an average, so don't freak out.)
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The road to emotional stability is paved with weight gain.


ART WITH BOTH UPPER AND 
LOWER CASE As

The 6 giants hidden in a 10 km radius around the suburbs of Copenhagen, Denmark by Thomas Dambo.
What fun!

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Satka, Russia

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Most satisfying image.
Do you think that is an manipulation-free image?
I think I do.

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And now you long time viewers may remember
PAINTED LADIES!

That seems like a life time ago I posted those regularly. Right along with "Women who look like sluts but probably aren't." Those were the good old days.

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In South Carolina, we rank 49th in education. I wonder who got forty-tenth.


HUMOR

Homophobia is the wrong word. The people called that aren't afraid of homosexuals. They loathe them, so if 'phile' means lover of, what's the suffix for hater of? Not phobia. 

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I'm the guy who thinks he can laugh at anything, but even I think this bitch crossed the line.

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When she's giving here boyfriend a blowjob and hears the Iphone camera shutter sound.

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When you change the game difficulty to hard.

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Best name in America...

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Look at this very carefully...

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You know that feeling when you are sitting in your car in the garage eating left over chicken wings and you hear a door open?


PROBLEMS WITH SOCIETY

The Koran never mentioned covering of the female body.


“Say to the believing men that: they should cast down their glances and guard their private parts (by being chaste). This is better for them.”

This is a command to Muslim men that they should not lustfully look at women (other than their own wives); and in order to prevent any possibility of temptation, they are required to cast their glances downwards. This is known as “hijab of the eyes”.

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We ask our young men and women to live with this level of fear day in and day out.

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Interesting read.

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I'm not sure I understand what "banter" means.

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Is there anything more pathetic than picking a tattoo out of a book or off of the wall?

I mean, if you are going to get one, get one with some real meaning.

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All year round weather in one day.
Texans are very familiar with this bipolar bitch called Mother Nature.

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This boy knew.

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High and low tide you fucking moron.

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Girl who lost her hearing at 8 years old sings on America's Got Talent, gets a standing ovation and the golden buzzer from Simon.


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It does seem strange sometimes, but all they would have to do is have an excellent credit rating.

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Let's take another long look at this...


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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

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This advice in child rearing is the best I've heard.

Oh, I know it's hard sometimes.


You could say something like "I'll tell you what, son, every day you don't do something like stupid, I won't kick your ass."


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Snopes is your friend.

Ralph Henry said...

Thanks Snopes, I need all the help I can get.

Anonymous said...

Egg thing is not bullshit. Farm eggs can stay on your counter for weeks. Wash them and you must put in fridge because you remove the protective coating. Think of it this way. A chicken lays 8-12 eggs. The chicken lays 2 eggs every 3 days (on average). They all hatch at the same time. How is this possible...?

...An egg does not begin to develop until heated (under Momma hen). The chicken lays an egg, leaves the nest and comes back the next day or so and lays another. Once the Momma thinks there is enough eggs after two weeks or so, she sits on them and they all start the development process at the same time...and hatch together. Why doesn't the first egg go bad after being left outdoors for many days/weeks? Because they have a built in shelf life.

This is not to say, farm eggs can stay on your counter forever as they will eventually go bad. General rule is 2-3 months. When they float in water, toss them.

We wash and refrigerate after we have a few days to a week full basket of eggs (so we're not washing eggs every day). They will last longer but will never taste as fresh.

Ralph Henry said...

So, am I to assume the shell is porous enough for the "coating" to effect and protect the inside stuff?

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