About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Monday, October 30, 2017

MONDAY #3233

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com




Before you listen to Bobby Marley, take a look at this Onion skit about Halloween.
Or
http://www.i-am-bored.com/2017/10/can-we-still-laugh-at-this-classic-onion-halloween-skit

Bob Marley - So Much Trouble in the World


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One of my female bartenders is going to dress up like me for Halloween; the ultimate honor.

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World Series stats are amazing. They interject facts that one has to wonder just how the hell they came up with them. Like, "First time in a World Series extra inning game as a homer not put your team in the lead." I'm waiting for "For the first time in World Series history was there a base hit with two men named Bob on base," or "The first time a man with five vowels in his name had a one hit game."

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How does a woman pirate how her lover? By the buccaneers. Say that out loud...I dare you.
Sorry, but I've been watching a lot of football. For the second week in a row I only picked one loser out of 12 games and LOST the pool.

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Of all the cool last names like: Fairchild, Drinkwater, Wiglesworth, Fairweather, Crabtree, Shoemaker, Merryweather, Tittsworth, Bookbinder, Mayfair, Mayflower, Trueheart, Hogshead, Birdsong, Lightheart, Laughinghouse, Arkwright, Longbottom, Borrowman, Boatnight, and my favorite Lovejoy - Badcock and Dickinson have to be the least fortunate. 
If you have anymore, please drop me a line. I really have a thing for them.



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I saw an air freshener so big they had to tie it on the top of the car.

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PEOPLE WHO ARE FAMOUS

Here's the apartment...
Here's the story...


Madame de Florian was a French socialite and actress who fled to the south of France during World War II. She kept her apartment in Paris on the Right Bank near the Opéra Garnier, though, in case she wanted to return. However, she never went back to it after the war. Since 1942, the apartment has been sitting untouched, until 1991 when an auctioneer entered her apartment. What he found was a time capsule, full of treasures.



And here she is...
I know you know the story, but I don't remember seeing what she looked like. I wasn't disappointed.

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Then & Now

We all know this kid.

I found this very interesting.


Dan Lloyd: The money he earned from The Shining helped put him through college, yet he

ended up working in Walmart and even as a pig farmer before becoming a

science teacher.
They never told him he was in a scary movie and any takes they showed him were scrubbed clean. He just thought he was rambling around a big house with toys.
RH - All I can do is think about his little talking finger saying "Shop Smart. Walmart" in the creepy little voice.


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Persistence is fruitful.

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My first few looks at that I missed that the victim is one of the doctors. At first I thought the feet was the dorsal fin of a shark and STILL thought it funny since the body is turned around at the bite site.


PEOPLE WHO PROBABLY WANT TO BE FAMOUS

This clip went viral.

But he's really not a bad guy and went back and adopted the little guy.

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Notice the policeman "shooting" back?

Speaking of shooting at things and respect...
Organizers of the Civil War reenactment which took place in on a rolling patch of grass 80 miles west of Washington, D.C. over the weekend, the battlefield had to be temporally cleared because a suspicious device, possibly a pipe bomb, was found. The event organizers also admitted  they had received a letter threatening "bodily harm" to attendees.
RH - But those people weren't advocating anything. They were demonstrating an historical event.


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I find that sort of interchange refreshing.


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The best part about voiding your colon with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyone's face at Starbucks.

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THE NAUGHTY BITS

That is so juvenile that I am almost embarrassed I posted it...almost.

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Keith Calder has been looking around on Reddit and has found a string of messages from baffled, distressed women whose male romantic partners literally don't wipe their asses because touching themselves between the cheeks might make them gay.
The tales are a combination of unhygienic living (skidmarks on everything, always, including the bedsheets after lovemaking; the smell is unbelievable) and abusive, reactionary men who blow up at the suggestion that they should be wiping their asses.
RH - That stupid bastard MUST realize that if touching your anus makes you gay, then we would ALL BE GAY, YOU DUMB TWAT!!

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(RH - Sounds like a souped up version of Green Eggs and Ham.)

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No matter how many you've seen...

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Anal beads work better when you've got them on a string. And aren't cue ball sized.

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SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

CERN unconfined the data from its impressive Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiments onto an online accessible portal called the Open Data portal. It was an extraordinary action, letting those who don't have access to a particle accelerator use data from the LHC's experiments.

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They spin the rod, not the drill bit. And this is how big the rod is...

They make connections between thousands of boards.

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Voyager may be the last evidence of our existence.

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Minor types of these icy forests exist on Earth. The structures are called penitentes. They form near Earth's equator on top of tall mountains. Up there, circumstances are right to turn snow straight to water vapor. This procedure — called sublimation — generates hard, sharp spikes of snow.

NASA researchers believe the similar procedure happens on Pluto. But this could only be possible if Pluto had been warmer in the past. Otherwise, the methane ice couldn't sublimate away. Researchers say this is evidence of Pluto's composite climate.

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Tesla patented his drone near the turn of the century and believed the potential for these "killer robots" was immense and meaningful. He believed his device had such potential for death and destruction that it would stop all wars through mutually assured annihilation. His patent for "Method of and apparatus for controlling mechanism of moving vessels or vehicles" was granted November 8, 1898.

RH - You fucking wish, Nickie.)

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Last week, the European Southern Observatory (ESO) teased news of an “unprecedented discovery.” Now, the organization has revealed that, for the first time ever, astronomers have observed both gravitational waves and light produced by the same event.


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I have a friend who takes great pride in starting his day with Cap'n Crunch and ends it with Captain Morgan. He's got severe pirate envy.

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Please, for the love of sanity, think about that for like one minute.


DICUSSABLES

I have no idea what that means, but it sounds like a cool thing to say. One of you use it on a first date and get back to me.

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RH - I've got to think that is a matter of survey question bias. The definition of harm should be explained. I mean the opposite of good could be evil.

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This image reminded me of an exercise I used to do with my classes. I would have them get very comfortable without getting out of their chairs. I then asked them to close their eyes and imaging a room. Then in a soothing monotone I would enchant: "You are looking in a room at a blank wall. In the wall on the left and right there are two closed doors. Besides the floor and ceiling there is nothing else in the room. Try to think of nothing else but the room. Now, as you watch the door on the left opens...now the door on the right opens. And your stray thought start floating in the right door and out the left door. In the right door and out the left. You try to only think about the room but the stray thoughts enter the right and exit the left. Now you watch as the left door slowly closes and your thoughts can't leave. You watch as the thoughts gather, then the exit door opens again and the room clears. Now the right door closes and no more thoughts can enter. You may open your eyes now."
I then ask them to draw what their thoughts look like. I tell them it can be as small or large as they like, but you don't have very long; I don't need a name unless you want to.
Then we talk about them.
And that, Gentle Reader, is why I am considered a god in my field.

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Recognize this set for one of the greatest sci-fi film ever made?
TREMOR
The practical effects of this movie are top notch. Full size Animatronic Graboid heads, hand puppets, miniatures, and one full size worm carcass all perfectly blended together to bring the beasts to life like only practical effects can do. The basement attack (best part of the movie) was achieved using a full size head, a miniature, and a tentacle puppets to grab Gross.
And the 18 sequels are even better!
Here are some things to look for each and every viewing:

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RH - As I understand it, countries with free health care will treat an American tourist. Who pays for a citizen from one of those countries when they come here? Can someone put the answer in plain English for me?

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This titled "Home Sick" and I think it's wonderful.

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A flesh flip book.
I think that's a butt.

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Located in Istanbul, Hagia Sophia was a Greek Orthodox Christian Basilica built in 537 AD. Later converted to an imperial mosque in 1453.
I find that people in 537 had the skill to do that extraordinary.

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Suggestion: Pronounced "twansol", TWWSNSOL  is the new designation for the N-word. It stands for The Word Which Shall Not be Said Out Loud.
Now everyone can be happy.

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Out of all the 7 billion people alive, someone, somewhere in the world, qualifies as the worst human alive.

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How very interesting.


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(Please, for the love of god, don't tell me that is fake.)

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