About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

THURSDAY #3236

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

BRING IT ON HOME TO ME

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Dearest Viewers, I was criticized by a viewer for playing the same songs over and over. As gently as I could I told him that I'M NOT A FUCKING DISC JOCKEY. You want variety? Then send me a play list. I'll make it easy. Here the email address:

NEWSY BITS

Best comment ever...

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When "I'm gay" doesn't work

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Lock the bums up!

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Lick a girl's butthole and she doesn't bat an eye. Eat an M&M off the floor and she loses her mind.

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THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN

I watched a documentary about the guy who wrote the formula to figure this out.
It works for cars, pedestrians, and products on an assembly line.

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Xylaria polymorpha - Dead Man's Fingers. This fungus resembles to the fingers of a corpse bursting up from the soil.

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I didn't know that.

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Tying himself up like that helps the Hagfish release his predator-deterring slime.

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I would like to know if any other countries have long trails like that and/or are their trails across Europe that hook up at the border.

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The Titanic sank with approximately 3000 pounds of garlic bread on board.

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UK Press Warning Sign In London Underground.
Bummer. I thought America was the only place stupid enough to let that happen.

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"How David Fincher Hijacks Your Eyes In His Films" was a YouTube clip that I thought was great...but I can't seem to find it for you. Give it a try, I think you will thank me. 
Later - This may be it.


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I think everyone taking their shoes off when coming into the house is a fine idea. You don't track shit in and your feet are comfortable. A little cold? Put on socks or slippers. A problem arises, however, in the fact that Americans go in and out continually, at least they do where I'm from.

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FUNNYISH STUFF

Still no fan of cats, but this was so well done.
How do they teach such a young cat how to do that right on cue?

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I wonder how they smell?

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I can guarantee you that no man designed this.
Ask your husband.

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A frog is mostly just a mouth with just enough legs to throw the mouth at food.

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When the wife says, "You don't need the condom. I'm back on the pill."


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Bad news about what kind of power grid we would have to have to support electric cars if their use increased to 50%. The good news is that they are extremely efficient for commutes to work and home, where the car is charged at non-peak hours. Better yet if each home had a small wind turbine and solar panels on the roof to assist.

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NOTE: You may have noticed that some of my cartoons are sub-par. You may have also noticed that I have many more cartoons per blog than I used to - I use them in the segue between sections. Well, I've had to lower my standards a tad to fill the daily quota. Thank you for your understanding.

PEOPLE WHO WERE VOTED MOST LIKELY TO

George Whitesides
An American chemist and professor of chemistry at Harvard University, he is arguably one of the most prolific scientists to ever live. In fact, he has been ranked as the most prolific living chemist in 2011 by Hersch index rating. He has authored over 1200 scientific papers in various fields of science, such as  NMR spectroscopy, organometallic chemistry, molecular self-assembly, microfabrication, microfluidics, nanotechnology, etc. He also owns over 150 scientific patents, so it's not too unlikely that you have something in your house that is the result of one of his inventions.
He was voted most like to do anything he damn well wanted to do and do it superbly. 

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People help customer recover 25,000 yuan (3570USD) he dropped on the street. He didn't lose a single banknote.
Voted most like to have really, really nice neighbors.

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Voted most likely to take a punch and keep on coming.

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How to cut down a tree, hillbilly style.
Voted most likely to join a militia. 

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Voted most likely to work for your mother.


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I feel the exact emotion when there is talk of Christianity as I do when there is talk of Witches, Scientology, the Zodiac, and/or Bigfoot sightings.

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PEOPLE WHO WERE VOTED MOST LIKELY NOT TO

Voted most likely not to date an Asian chick.

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Voted most like not to wipe his ass very well either.

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Voted most likely not to be a social drinker.

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Voted most likely not to ever hurt anyone.

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I predict a rocky 6 months of marriage.
Voted most likely not to let his wife live to their first anniversary.

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On July 13, 1978, Russian scientist Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski put his head directly into the path of a proton beam in the particle accelerator Synchrotron U-70. (He was trying to inspect a malfunction.) The beam, which was moving at near the speed of light, hit the back of his head and exited through the front, near his nose. It exposed him to an absurd amount of radiation, but remarkably, Bugorski survived. He said that he saw a flash "brighter than a thousand suns," but felt no pain. Doctors predicted that he would die shortly after the experience, and their suspicions seemed on target when the left side of his head swelled and his skin began to peel. But Bugorski didn't die, although he did lose hearing in his left ear and suffer from seizures. Eventually, the left side of his face became completely paralyzed. Throughout this process, his mind remained sharp, and he even went on to get his PhD after the accident.
Voted most likely not to attend any of the 2 or 3 THOUSAND safety briefings.

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My wife makes me watch her do this.
Voted most like not to marry twice.

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Voted most likely not to go canoeing twice.

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Nobody voted for that stupid bastard.

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Standing on an egg, Jack Daniels edition.
Voted most like not to go anywhere without being filmed.

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Make up your own.


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Airlines have first class to remind you that you are not in first class.

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I find it odd that the act of 911 made some people forget what it means to be an American. But you have to admit, the swirly little hat thing is fucking hilarious.


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