About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

WEDNESDAY #3303

One Of My Very Own
Get an erection?! I can't even get my hopes up.

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

FREE FALLIN'
The wonderful Mr. Petty

Well, another bowl season has come and gone. Each year I enter a huge pool where by you pick who wins each bowl. I play under the name Aardvark...so I'm first alphabetically.
Anyway, I came in 4th. They pay off the top three scores. That's the second time in four years that has happened.



THE USE AND MISUSE OF OUR LANGUAGE


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Didn't see anything odd? Read it again.

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One stop on The Freedom Trail in Boston is the Old Granary Burial Ground, and here is the grave of Mother Goose. So to speak. 
It’s interesting that this gravesite is one of the most visited by sightseers. As you can see, there is a pile of pennies at her headstone that fans of history, or nursery rhymes, toss here for good luck.

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Confession time here at the FO Institute.
I am MUCH prouder of some posts than others. But not so embarrassed that I want to spend time correcting it. I'm an old man. Cut me some slack.

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I wish I could be as cool as people who don't look out the windows during take off or landing in airplanes.

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DISCOVERIES AND INNOVATION



A..."novel is about first contact with an alien society, with emphasis on the "dark forest theory" that any civilization advanced enough to make contact is a priori a threat."

In this book, the first of a trilogy, both earthlings and the aliens are preparing for an encounter with one another.  Here is the initial alien strategy: The princeps said, "What we must do next is contain the progress of science on Earth.  Luckily, as soon as we received the first messages from Earth, we began to develop plans to do so.  As of now, we've discovered a favorable condition for realizing these plans.

Given a time gap of forty thousand hours, the strategic value of any traditional tactics of war or terror is insignificant, and they can recover from them.  To effectively contain a civilization's development and disarm it across such a long span of time, there is only one way: kill its science... In addition to highlighting the negative effects of progress, we'll also attempt to use a series of 'miracles' to construct an illusory universe that cannot be explained by the logic of science... Then unscientific ways of thinking will dominate scientific thinking among human intellectuals, and lead to the collapse of the entire scientific system of thought..."

What an outrageous concept - conquer the earth by steering earthlings away from the fundamental principles of science.  How ridiculous - no advanced earth society would allow itself to be deluded in such a fashion....

Wait a minute...

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Daughter comes home for Christmas.
Nice the way she faked being pleased with stupid cheap ass mirror.

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How does one: A. Decide they want to learn to do this? B. And after deciding, what kind of an exercise program would it require?
I'd pay good money to see her do that naked.

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Acceptable faux paws.

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Newfangled muon imaging recently discovered a huge empty space inside Khufu's Pyramid (also known as the Great Pyramid of Giza), but exploring these ancient structures without damaging them is tricky.
Two French research institutes have come up with an intriguing concept: An autonomous robot blimp. It would collapse to such tiny size that they could drill a 3.5-mm hole into the pyramid, inject the blimp on a rod-like docking station, whereupon it inflates and floats around exploring the interior. When it's done, it returns to the docking station and the researchers pull it back out.

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I'm obsessed with things like this.

Now look what somebody came up with.
I like it.

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The tidal pull between Earth and moon is apparently the focal reason behind planet’s slow rotation. Little changes in the speed of earth’s rotation could trigger a drastic seismic activity, mainly in the tropical terrain, putting a billion lives at stake. Experts are not acquainted with what exactly causes these minuscule variations; eventually causing a shift in the shape of the Earth's iron and nickel inner core, thus, changing how the outer core flows by creating an alteration between the speed of the solid crust and the mantle. This in turn changes the liquid outer core on which the Earth's tectonic plates rest.


We shall see.


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Archaeologists excavating at the foot of the Aztecs’ Great Temple, in downtown Mexico City, discovered a dazzling collection of gold artifacts and the skeleton of a juvenile wolf. Occupying a stone box the size of a dishwasher, the gold artifacts are the finest yet excavated at the 40-year-old dig.

And there's a holey moley left of center.

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How the fuck did he do that?
Ingot of gold for the answer.
90% of my people think it is photoshop. I've bet money it is not. HELP!

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This man raised this squirrel since shortly after birth. This is the day he sets it free.
Rather emotional, especially for his wife. Do yourself a favor and watch this very short clip.
http://www.i-am-bored.com/2018/01/releasing-a-squirrel-into-the-wild


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Never accept a burger from a clown if you're not at McDonalds.

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HOW NOT TO DO SOMETHING

Children play in a pond in a park in South Africa in 1956.

The Apartheid created heavy racial segregation, keeping the white minority in supreme control. In the beginning of the South African regime in the 1940s and 50s, black communities would be chained off with barbed wire, and mixed racial breeding had consequences. They even did tests of anyone appearing white but accused of having mixed descent by putting pencils in their hair. Depending on the speed in which it fell out (quickly meant more European, slower mean more African) could change how a person was classified by the government.



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The police are really cracking down on jaywalking.
"Oh, snap!" - her left leg, probably.

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Our oceans are under siege. Plastic forks, disintegrating shopping bags, fragmented blocks of Styrofoam and a seemingly endless amount of drinking bottles are just a few examples of the debris swirling around the seas and washing up on our shores.

Take another look at this plastic soup, and you’ll likely spot something few people have ever heard of: nurdles; the building blocks for other plastics. Companies buy nurdles by the billions every year to make nearly all the plastic products we buy. 



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Wait for it...
From such things the need for therapy is born.

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People linger around after the massive Woodstock Festival had ended in New York State, US in 1969.
The concert was for 3 days, with up to 400,000 people attending. It was the biggest event of its kind at the time, but it was also poorly organized for the amount of people who attended. Most slept outside, in muddy conditions caused by rain. The dairy farm it was held on was utterly trashed, with it taking months to clean up.


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Everyone who hates speeding tickets raise your right foot.

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HOW NOT TO USE A LADDER: A TUTORIAL

I've spent many an hour hanging off a ladder painting murals. Only fell once...broke an arm and a leg.

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If we were all what we wanted to be when we were children, the moon would be full of unemployed people.

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MACHINES AND SUCH

What will happen when this is compressed?
A. A large explosion.
B. A medium explosion.
C. A fizzle.
D. Not a damn thing.

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Made in the 1770s with 6,000 moving parts and programmable words,  an automaton named "The Writer".

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D. Not a damn thing.

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We used a lot of compressed gases in the nuclear weapons business.
 And with high explosive rocket motors around, that was one of our greatest fears.

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I remember that during our road trips whenever we past an Amish farm I was amazed that every blade of grass was trimmed around every fence post.

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If I were ever asked to quote from the bible, this is the verse I would choose:
Ezekiel 23, 19:20 -  Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20: There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

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