About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Monday, September 16, 2019

MONDAY #3917

One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL: 
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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PEOPLE

Don't do this!
I saw a picture of a woman filling the bed...THE BED of her truck with gasoline.
And then there's this...
That's some kinky Alabama shit right there.
^^A1^^


[verification needed]
^^A2^^


Delightful.
^^A3^^


Asians.
^^A4^^


Yes, I'm thinking exactly what you are thinking. 
^^A5^^


How many thousands of hours of practice must that take?
^^A6^^


And this concludes today's lesson in physics. Thank you, Lisa, for demonstrating most people's lack of basic principles.

https://i.imgur.com/DJR916C.mp4
^^A7^^



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Doctor: How are you feeling.

Me: With nerve endings. You should really know this.

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PLACES

Why having a pet door in Florida is a really bad idea.

How do you not fear for your children's lives every second of every day?
^^B1^^

Ukraine
The last day of the battle.

https://imgur.com/gallery/ieaK0GG

I have not forgotten about my friends in Ukraine. I think about you daily and wish you nothing but the very best.
^^B2^^

The new way Hong Kong protesters are dealing with tear gas.

Brilliant.
^^B3^^


If you know a military man or woman, I can tell you they LOVE care packages. I used to send Scotch to my friend Mel in Iraq. 
^^B4^^


The hazards of motherhood.
^^B5^^

The power of one of those fire retardant drops.
Just in case you wanted to try and get up close for a photo or video.

Indeed.
^^B6^^


 NASA imaged a plasma tornado that danced on the sun for 40 straight hours
^^B7^^


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4aqGI1mSqo
^^B8^^

NASA Archives: Astronaut Bruce McCandless II Floats Free in Space. First, Untethered, Free Flight Spacewalk
On Feb. 7, 1984, during the Space Shuttle Challenger’s STS-41B mission, NASA Astronaut Bruce McCandless II makes the first, untethered, free flight spacewalk in the Manned Maneuvering Unit.
Of his famous spacewalk, he wrote in 2015: "My wife [Bernice] was at mission control, and there was quite a bit of apprehension. I wanted to say something similar to Neil [Armstrong] when he landed on the moon, so I said, 'It may have been a small step for Neil, but it’s a heck of a big leap for me.' That loosened the tension a bit." 
^^B9^^

Shoppers buying roast chicken on the opening day of the first Costco store in China - August 27th, 2019
^^B10^^

Speaking of...

And...

That orchestrated Popeye/Chic-fil-A row was a brilliant marketing ploy.
^^B11^^

Nepal?
https://i.imgur.com/Y4ebtQV.mp4
What's wrong with those people? I would have locked myself in an interior closet immediately.
^^B12^^


I almost walked out of my mother's funeral for a very similar incidence.
^^B13^^



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*snaps wife’s nighttime eye mask*

You up?

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THINGS

If you are rich and don't have one of these, then what are you doing with your money?




I really like things like this...

^^C1^^


I think he is filling sandbags but I'm not sure.
^^C2^^

Curiosity might not have killed this cat but it came close...

^^C3^^

SpaceX's Falcon 9 returning to Earth, pulsing its cold gas attitude control thrusters.
Falcon 9 uses blasts of pressurized Nitrogen to orientate, guide and correct itself during the descent and reentry phase of the first stage. 
^^C4^^

It's the Woody Allen Mia Farrow dogs...
I hate that prick.
^^C5^^

 I've painted things like that a thousand times but they were all life-sized.
 ^^C6^^

Where exactly do you get tiny eggs like that? 
^^C7^^


Fuckers know what they are doing.
^^C8^^

 Replacing a section of a big screen.
I had no idea. 
^^C9^^

How to open a can without a can opener.


Watch this:
https://i.imgur.com/0NB9DeR.mp4
^^C10^^



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"An idle mind is the Devil’s playground." 

Devil: [inside my mind] This playground is shit.

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

I will never miss a chance to ridicule these idiots.



 ^^D1^^


I like them as a cessation device, but this has gotten out of hand. 
^^D2^^


If you ask to speak to the manager every time you don't get your way, then I can state as a fact people hate you.
^^D3^^

^^D4^^


 ^^D5^^


FYI: Indica strains have a different range of effects on the body and mind than Sativa strains. Both have different medicinal benefits. An Indica strain is generally associated with a sense of deep body relaxation. Sativa strains tend to provide a more energizing experience.
^^D6^^


^^D7^^

The person that caused this sign to be necessary...
I was told that in DC they have two armed guards to "remind" people not to sit on the Declaration of Independence case.
^^D8^^


The only clue I can give is to wait until your children get old enough to take care of themselves and understand instructions. I watched dozens of parents from all over the world screaming at their too young children.
^^D9^^


Yeah, we are all getting that message more every day.
^^D10^^


 ^^D11^^

 ^^D12^^


That took me much to long to understand the absurdity. 
^^D13^^


 ^^D14^^



^^D15^^

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Don't trust tables.
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 And if you think the Bible and that the Earth is 6,000 years old, then you are full of shit. And if you think the creator of the whole fucking universe can make a mistake then you are even more full of shit.
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5 comments:

Scott James said...

Monday punday = spectrum crumpets

Anonymous said...

crumpet's spectrum

Ralph Henry said...

Would you like to explain that to me...please?

Anonymous said...

Today's favorites:
*Rock and wooden doors
*Girl on the rope swing (that would have been ME)
*Opening the can on the sidewalk curb
*Cutting the watermelon
PS: The "mini bar" was a tad offensive :)
Towanda

Anonymous said...

I tried to last week with the "marble blamer" pun, but will try again. :-)

The puns with "smaranga" at the bottom are 2-word anagram puns where the 2 words are anagrams of each other. ("smaranga" being an anagram of "anagrams", hence the name)

If you can figure out one of the words, then rearrange the letters for an anagram that describes the other.

In this case, "spectrum" has an anagram of "crumpets". Hence, "crumpet's spectrum"; i.e., a crumpet holding a spectrum.

Make sense?

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