About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Monday, April 13, 2020

MONDAY PANDEMIC UPDATE


 NEWS AND OBSERVATIONS

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Hemingway Was Once Quarantined with his Wife... and Mistress
 In 1926, Ernest Hemingway had a wife (his first, Hadley), a three-year-old son named Jack and was having an affair with heiress Pauline Pfeiffer. Hadley knew about Pfeiffer and was quite upset at the betrayal. When Hadley took Bumby to visit Gerald and Sara Murphy on the French Riviera, Bumby was diagnosed with whooping cough. They were sent to a nearby house owned by F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald to protect Murphy's children. Hadley and Jack were eventually joined by Pauline Pfeiffer and then by Hemingway.
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There are people who believe this shit...

 And we wonder why so many black people get sick even though we know they believed that they were immune. I can only assume that believing that they didn't exercise social distancing.
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 SOURCE: CLICK HERE
7 to 3 ratio with ages 23-25.
 
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If all else fails then try scaring the shit out of them...
 And...
It says, "Stay at home, or dance with us!" 
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And...
 Please take a moment to check that your voter registration is up-to-date or register for the first time at: 
https://www.vote.gov
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Yeah, but they have a fraction of the population.
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I don't remember any of the others having to pull refrigerated semi-trailers into hospitals to use a morgue. 
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Another artist has entered the game... 

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 THE LIGHTER SIDE OF THE PANDEMIC

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 Make a mask out of your wife's bra they said...
 And...

I don't get it.
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Due to a drop in air pollution, views usually blocked by smog are clear again.
And...
 *MNBT
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 Yeah, well that's what we are trying so hard not to let happen.
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 It's a liquor store.
And...

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 Yeah, I do stuff like that now. I even found myself cursing stupid contestants on game shows.
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By the time this is over this kid will have superpowers.
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 And...
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 [verification needed]
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 STAYTHEFUCKATHOME ACTIVITIES

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Make art out of your food...
 
 
And...
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Teach your pet a new trick...


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Exercise your pet...

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Encourage one pet to fuck with the other one...
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Take your dog to the park...
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 Fuck with a family member...
The whole family dressed like dad...including facial hair.
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 Do your nails...
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 Mimic a famous painting...
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 Tinker with your car...
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Endanger your spouse...
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Learn Photoshop...
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 Order this puzzle...
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Change your brothere's hairstyle...
You need sound with this to hear his dad's reaction:

PERSONAL UPDATE
Our appetites have fallen to near zero...and that's with delicious meals like fillet mignons, oyster Rockefeller, corned beef and cabbage, pot roast, etc. We are just not hungry. Anybody else having a similar abnormality?
They are talking about opening up MLB with some rule changes:
No spectators.
Play all games in Arizona.
Players sit in stands instead of the dugout and social distance.
Electronic ball-strike calls.
Play only seven innings.
Frequent testing of players, coaches, and umpires.
But it will be televised and if it reaches fruition I predict they will be the most-watched events of all time.
I've come up with a plan to get things done in my studio. I've placed my cigarettes in there and I force myself to walk in there to smoke. While I smoke I put some of the mountains of shit away.
Stay safe, Gentle Readers. Without your attention, I don't know what I would do.

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