About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, May 5, 2020


One Of My Very Own





Land O Lakes has redesigned their logo sans Indian maiden.
 The first time I visited my soon to be wife's house she had this on her refrigerator...
Funny lady. 



Always sketch it out in chalk, proof it, then spray it.

You gotta love that lady. 

That looks like something my wife would do.

I've only met one genius in my life. He took over my nuke shop in Germany when I still had a year or so until discharge. He changed some rules that could only be described as brilliant.
1. To avoid the morning rush to get on base through the gate, our shop would open at 7am instead of everyone else's 8am start time.
2. Doing #1 would allow us to get off work at 4pm which would allow us to be the first ones at the NCO Club and could have the best seats.
3. If all of the maintenance was complete we would work only a half-day on Friday with only a skeleton crew to man the shop.
4. The skeleton crew would be made up of anyone who:
a. was late for work by even one minute.
b. needed a haircut.
c. needed to shine shoes.

Think of all the problems those rules solved. We insisted that each of us worked our ass off so that we got a half-day off on Friday. And, of course, the haircuts, shoe shines, and latenesses more or less took care of themselves.
Anyway, my boots looked just like the ones made into the birdhouse above. They were far beyond shining so I just spray painted them with gloss black paint.
And as you, Gentle Read, may have surmised, I was on the Friday afternoon skeleton crew just about every fucking week.

I'm assuming she tucked her phone into her waistband and it slipped.


I think it's his serious expression that makes those things so funny.


I just finished Netflix.



No problem, they will just claim that they do, in fact, get autism and the government just keeps it a secret. 

Here's what Snopes has to say about that:
Origins:   In late October 2015 multiple news sources reported on a “study” that purportedly documented the discovery of human DNA in several popular hot dog brands (and traces of meat in versions specifically marketed as “vegetarian”). The research on which the hot dog claims were based was alternately termed a “study,” a “report,” and “testing,” with a private company called Clear Labs credited for the findings. (Incidentally, Clear Labs described their hot dog research as a “report,” not a study.) 

A rare sighting in the Strait of Magellan: a marine biologist from the Austral University captured these southern right whale dolphins on camera.
They are the only dolphins without dorsal fins in the Southern Hemisphere and are rarely seen this close to the coast. 

Yeah, you will start hearing clapping and it won't be a round of applause.

Lest we forget. 

Every time I see it you see it.



The roof is a boat. 



Who told the bots that “hello dear” was an appropriate human greeting & not the way haunted dolls speak to each other?



Most of the people KNEW what they were doing were wrong yet they did it anyway.

Remember this from years ago?


This may be fake. Nobody would not only point a gun at their head, but also not have any trigger finger discipline especially a trained ATF agent. 


Bravo, young lady. 



He found the edge of the map! 
Seriously, you think there's a wire?







Yeah, that looks dangerous but that's the way I did it. We had a T with the long part situated just like the above. We used sandbags where they have buckets and such.

Don't be a mindless gawker!
Two more feet and they would have been lost. 




These guys risk life and limb for a living...





Why don’t planes board by seat number??? Could be so simple instead it’s like 5000 insane groups “now boarding those with brown hair next up those who DO not eat fish”.





"Well, shit."
- Husband probably

This town ain't big enough for both of us...



This was found in the ocean.












Anonymous said...

Puzzle time: had the key been hanging straight down I would have said to just heat the living crap out of tbe bottle with a torch. Gas expands. Cork blows. Key is free of cork.
However, I cannot think of a reason why the key is not centered in the bottle, tberefore this must be a trick question.

Ralph Henry said...

I should have explained. it was a gif and the key was swinging in the bottle. It was much too large for my blog and I don't know why.

Anonymous said...

it doesn't say you cant touch the string...which is clearly tied on the outside of the cork since there are two ends. just untie the knot and pull one end, the string pulls through the key and it's no longer tied.took me longer to read that other guy's answer than it sis to solve the puzzle.

Kranky Old Guy said...

The stated problem is vague and ambiguous. It's really a bug on top of the bottle holding the key. Just wave your hand, or clap loudly, and the bug will release the string holding the key and fly away. Ambiguous problem solved!

Fardygardy said...

The knot is outside the bottle. Untie it. Done. The puzzle did not say “free the key”; only to untie it

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