About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, February 25, 2021

THURSDAY #4446

 One Of My Very Own

I've dreamt about that very thing.

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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It is so refreshing to have "normal" news on TV.

Although I could live the rest of my life without hearing the name Tiger Woods again, my wife always thought he was one of the most beautiful people on Earth and just the mention of his name would flood her basement. 

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YOUR HOST SPEAKS


Before the Super Bowl, I bet my wife that the flyover would be a B-2 bomber.
And even though there was a B-2, it wasn't alone so we called it a wash.
^^A1^^

Racism is dumb and Einstein was not dumb.

I was dumb once. I just accepted my parents' modeling and was as racist as every other redneck in Alabama at the time.
^^A3^^

My epiphany into tolerance occurred in Oklahoma where I moved in the 11th grade.
In Alabama, it was a matter of personal pride to have Native American ancestry. But in Oklahoma, the white students loathed "Indians." But...BUT they didn't care one way or the other if you were black.
At that point, it became abundantly clear that either the Oklahomans or the Alabamians were full of shit. And after careful reflection, I deduced BOTH groups were full of shit.
After that, I carefully examined every "truth" that I had been taught to believe all my life. And I have been doing it ever since.
^^A4^^

I haven't owned a tie in forty years.
I knew my son-in-law was a keeper when he went to a tie-required event and just draped one around his neck - explaining that no one said it had to be tied in a knot.
^^A5^^

I have invented many tools and devices - mostly painting aids.
Cutting a sharp edge is very time-consuming and many of my murals required a lot of clean-cut edges.

First, I bought Home Depot edge guides...
And I used them for years.

But edge guides are made to use mostly in corners.
But most of my edging was not in corners, so I ripped a 1X3 like this...
Each half could be placed along a drawn line and the ferrule of the brush ran along the pointed edge. But cleaning the pointed wooden relatively fragile edge proved problematic after hours of use.
I needed a metal edge that I could scrap clean when needed so I made dozens of these.
Some of them had screendoor handles. Some were 6' long for two members of my crew to use at once.
^^A6^^

My daughter getting her Ph.D. was one of the proudest moments of my life.
^^A7^^

I have a knack for seeing faces in normal everyday objects. I've even painted faces in murals in such things as granite, leaves, etc.
^^A8^^

I left my phobia of such things behind long ago. The legendary drag performer Lady Chablis (Garden of Good and Evil)...

Was a good friend of my wife's and I thought she was delightful. She had the most contagious smile I've ever seen.

^^A9^^

With my wife owning three local shops you can probably guess how I feel about that. But like everybody else, covid has made us order shit from Amazon just about every day. I've ordered two small hinges and they arrived in two days with no shipping. Shit like that is hard to resist.
^^A10^^

I'm a soup guy. I'm not sure I've met a soup I didn't like.
^^A11^^

Takewari Matsuri is a Japanese ritual in February where bamboo stalks representing disease-bearing serpents are smashed on the ground to drive away bad luck and sickness.


I am fascinated by the need of very many people seem to have to believe in magic. I guess it has to do with giving them a sense of power over their circumstances. Think prayer.
^^A12^^

I ran into an artist friend years ago. I asked him how he was and he said, "I fucked a ballerina." 

I ask, "How was it?"

He replied, "It was alright," and then we talked about art.

I think of that conversation often now that he's dead.

^^A13^^

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When your direct deposit goes in at midnight but you're broke by the time you wake up.


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HUMAN DYNAMICS


Let me know how that works for you, Sparky.
^^B1^^

Bus fare based on your weight

It was stated that it is not a city bus but rather a private bus.
^^B2^^

This is the replacement ceramic bowl that the first delivery guy already broke. Guess what? It too was broken.

Think of the time wasted. The drivers saved, what, one second tops? Then the homeowner has to take the time to send it back, then Amazon has to round up another item, and finally, a truck has to bring it back. All so those two drivers could save one step and one second.

^^B3^^

On several occasions, cops have started playing popular music when they realize they're being filmed. The odd behavior has a point: they hope that copyright-strike algorithms on YouTube, Instagram, and other social media sites will prevent the video from being posted and shared. The latest example comes courtesy of Sgt. Billy Fair of Beverly Hills P.D, who only succeeded in Streisand Effecting himself with a blast of Sublime's 'Santeria.'

^^B4^^

Did you hear about this lady?

I'll let this tweet explain.
^^B5^^

A group of lifelong friends take a road trip every year and challenge themselves to take a memorable photo.
^^B6^^

THRILL SEEKERS

^^B7^^

^^B8^^

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

^^B11^^

^^B12^^

Utah. Everyone survived.

^^B13^^

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2020 is now a verb. 

"I gained control of the car for a moment, your honor, but then things went 2020."


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FUN WITH LANGUAGE


^^C1^^

^^C2^^

^^C3^^

^^C4^^

^^C5^^

^^C6^^

^^C7^^

^^C8^^

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I can't believe we are still encoring cuss words. The ice caps are melting, man, just let us say "fuck" every once in a while.


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OBJECTS OF INTEREST


^^D1^^

Squint.

^^D2^^

^^D3^^

I'm assuming there are more nutrients in the mortar cracks.
^^D4^^

^^D5^^

How many early attempts resulted in failure?
^^D6^^

This Bird Village even has a crackhouse.

I missed it.
^^D7^^


^^D8^^

Deep-fried slice of pizza
Got to be a Southern thing.
^^D9^^

^^D10^^

Amazing.
^^D11^^

Steamboat Willy

And the rest is history.
^^D12^^

Two koi fish that have been swimming together for over 20 years.

^^D13^^

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My wife is going to love making those.
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ALWAYS practice OFF-CAMERA.
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What is that on the couch?!?
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5 comments:

Scott James said...

((4/4)+4))×4=20
((1)+4))×4=20
5×4=20

Anonymous said...

Puzzle:..
4/4+4*4=20

Anonymous said...

puzzle time: divide =1, then add =5, then multiply=20. although it seems like we need to put some parenthese in there

Anonymous said...

Rules of math says that is 17, not 20.

Anonymous said...

Multiplication and division come before addition and subtraction, therefore 4/4+4*4 is correct without parentheses.

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