One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL:
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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MY LATEST COMPLETED BOX
GENTLE READERS, I PRESENT
THE CASH BOX
I've shown several images of the pieces required to cover the sides.
I had Sherwin-Williams match the exact colors of the bills - brand new through very old and painted the wood accordingly.
I then scored the edges with that special tool I made to more look like a stack of bills.
After scoring I applied one of three different shades of stain to bring out the scratches.
When they were all ready I had over four milk crates full.
And when I finished covering the sides I had very few left over.
Notice the corner pieces that took more work than all the others combined.
I decided to alternate the direction of the "bundles" - sideways and front to back to keep it from looking boring.
The size of the box was dictated by the ratio of lengths and widths of the fake bundles. At 18" three long sides more or less matched 7 short sides. So the box is 18"X36".
I was careful that many of the pieces protruded so they would look hand-stacked.
I waited to finish the sides before even starting the top. It took dozens of pieces of wood cut the exact size of a bundle of cash.
They had to be sanded, painted with a sanding sealer, sanded again, and painted with those same color matches I used for the side.
To make the edge scoring more efficient, I clamped some of them together and stood over them to get adequate leverage.
After staining, a 1" piece of silk ribbon was attached. I obtained the $200 on the ribbon by taping them to a sheet of paper and running them through my printer.
After very carefully gluing real two-dollar bills to the wood they were finally finished and it was time to attach them to the lid.
I designed an overhanging bundle to be used as a lift handle and intentionally left the "hole" from whence it came.
Since part of the underneath side of that bundle could be seen when the lid was open, I had to show a bill on the bottom.
I also had to cover the bottom of the void with bills.
And it worked swimmingly.
Some of the bundles on the top are slightly higher than the rest by placing spacers under them.
And after four coats of flat clear coat, the box was finished.
I am now going to include every photo I took of it because I like them all. Enjoy.
Please let me know what you think of it. I crave feedback and I don't get out much anymore.
I'm extremely tired of people's lives depending on whether a white dude with an AR-15 is having a good day or not.
I had a lot of stuff to do today, and now I have a lot of things to do tomorrow.
FUN WITH LANGUAGE
What About Your Income Taxes?
Don't believe your lying ears.
And...
Look closely.
You ought to try and write one.
Nobody ever got laid on the backseat of a bike.
He did his own research and discovered things the whole medical profession had missed.
My wife's "fancy" nightgown is the one with only one chocolate stain.
3 things in life are certain: death, taxes, and me eating seafood on Wednesdays, wings on Fridays, Pizza on Saturdays, Chinese on Sundays, and fried chicken on Mondays.
OBJECTS OF INTEREST
Is that how they make bowling balls over there?
God that looks delicious.
I've never got a satisfactory answer to my query about why we villanize women's nipples. Anybody?
That's some bestiality shit right there.
It kind of looks like that thing in The Alien.
Gorgeous.
I have rolled a million of those. At each family reunion, 8 or so of us would sit around a table and roll until all the ingredients were depleted. After steaming we would eat them by the dozens.
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If smartphones existed in the 80s, most of us would have a parole officer.
You can be 30+ years old with children of your own and your mother will tell you not to eat too much ice cream because you threw up once when you were 8.
EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
Was she puking?! That's cruel as shit.
The Deer Lover
One of the most surprising endings of any video on the internet...
SHE MADE IT!!!!
The Weaker Sex
If this jar is not half full or half empty what is it?
15 comments:
CB The latest box is awsesome!
No one villainizes women's nipples, but men (including you) sexualize a woman's breasts. Which leads to gawking, cat calls, sexual harassment and other wonderful things a woman has to endure. Those things occur with breasts covered and would get much worse with them exposed. Just saying......
Puzzle time
3 quarters full .....boooooo
B-5
Of all people you should know why women's nipples are taboo.
Religion
I think whoever gets that box is going to be the luckiest person you know. That is a wonderful creation!
I like how you sacrifice that $1600 misprint note to be part of the box. That would have been hard for me to do.
^^B5^^ God that looks delicious!
Puzzle time:
Optimist
The jar is half full
Pessimist
The jar is half empty
Pragmatist
The jar doesn’t need to be that big
I agree with Larry. BRILLIANT!
PUZZLE TIME: It's Half-Open or AJAR! Am I right and do I win Five Quid?
That cash box is amazing! I would offer to buy it but it probably costs as much as the "bills" would add up to if real! Great work!
Dear Misprint Note Guy, Sacrifice? They are retrievable with effort.
But I don't believe you anyway.
RH
Dear "Bills", I must apologize. When I first read your comment I thought you were accusing me of using fake money for the lid. It upset me and this was my first draft:
**************
Fuck you. What would be the point of using fake money?
I so very wish there was a way we could make a wager. I'm in for my house against your house that the bills are very real. You in?
And I can assure you, you can't afford that box.
**************
That taught me to be much more careful in the future.
Thank you, my friend.
RH
Dear Nipples Guy, That is the exact same argument they once made about shoulders, ankles, knees, and belly buttons. There are nude beaches where men don't make asses of themselves. I just want women to have the right to show their nipples without repercussions.
And yes, I like looking at breasts...all of it, much the same way so many women have liked looking at some of my body parts. I think it is only healthy.
RH
Ralph, I was just joking about the misprinted bill. I thought you might think it's funny. I didn't mean to upset you.
Dear Ralph, per your nipple reply.... I'm not a "guy." I'm a grown ass, intelligent, liberal thinking woman. Comparing shoulders, ankles, knees and belly buttons to breasts is like comparing apples to oranges. I never heard cat calls or endured harassment over any other body part except my breasts or butt which happens more than you know because most of the time, these harassments (and rapes) go unreported. As a woman, I feel no need or desire to show my nipples/breasts because I don't crave attention. A nude beach is different than being out in a public beach or pool. People know what to expect at a nude beach. I may have looked at a guys bulge, but I didn't want them to whip it out and helicopter their penis in my face. LOL I think some mystery is sexier. On a similar note, I feel that cats are a lesson in consent and a lot of men don't like cats because they can't control them.
"Bills" here!
Yes sir, I meant it as a compliment. I know you used real money! I just used the quotes because there is wood underneath. Great work sir!
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