SATURDAY #5141

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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PONDERABLES

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*MNBT

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It is taught in your holy book that if you pick and choose which parts to live by then you are going straight to hell. 

The ball is in your court.

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No matter how hungry you are, DO NOT eat the chicken salad from the BP station.

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"I will smash you to nothing!" said the ogre. "That is physically impossible," I said, and the others agreed and the ogre admitted he was wrong.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST

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PHOTOGRAPHY

Yes, capturing that once-in-a-lifetime shot is thrilling, but if you make it your goal then you will forever be disappointed.

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But most people make common mistakes that can easily be overcome.

Try not to have your subject face the camera all the time.

I was taught that it is all about the light.

That applies to realistic painting as well as photography.

Light creates drama in every type of photography.

And please get over asking your subjects to smile all the time...

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I like that movie and thought the casting director should have gotten an Oscar.

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I would have run out of gas a thousand times had it not been for that little light.

In the '56 VW, I owned they had a reserve tank that was accessed with a lever in the firewall.

When you ran out of gas you just flipped down the lever for one extra gallon - enough to get you to a gas station.

The worse feeling in the world was running out of gas and discovering that you had left the lever down the last time you used it.

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"Can you spell "decadence", boys and girls?"

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Cows Watch Dog Fetch

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A TV Moment that you need to watch more than once

I've mentioned before that I learned an awful lot from his TV show "Connections" and have included a link to his old shows.

LINK TO HIS TV SHOWS

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Have you ever watched a woman eat an entire pint of cake icing with a soup ladle? Just wondering.

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Santa would have to visit 25,000 houses per minute.

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PEOPLE NOT LIKE US

Seems only fair.

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HELLO FBI?! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON MY FLIGHT!!!

And it gets worse!

But then there is this comment:

"I hate to say this, but my Mom had to do this when she started to decline, or she would read the same pages over and over."

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Volleyball coach slaps 14-year-old girls in Malaysia.

The worst part of this is they have almost no reaction because it was expected/normal behavior. But how did he know he wasn't going to get his ass kicked by a pissed-off father?

He was suspended. He should be in fucking jail.

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Nose Vocal

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The Owl

That’s nothing. Have you heard about the fireworks being canceled in a UK town because there was a walrus wanking on the beach?

But before we scoff at the attention they give the owl think of the attention we give a groundhog once a year.

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That is the beginning of a short short story that I found very interesting.

LINK TO STORY

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NRA

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Columbus

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My neighbor called a press conference after getting the grass lines "just right" following his hours-long Sunday morning edging.

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The British eat like the Luftwaffe is still flying overhead.

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NAUGHTY BITS

I've only seen one of those and it was in the partition between stalls in a men's bathroom. 

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Sex?

Not sex.

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*Get it?

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"You know what I like."

- Big Bopper

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Parents rejecting their children because they are gay is the most un-Christian thing anyone can do.

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Switching to anal as a form of birth control is a development that should have happened centuries ago.

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Swallow

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*That also applies to golf.

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My wife was a ballerina before she decided to dedicate her life to maintaining my happiness.

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Brainwashed people praise their all-powerful entity for the good but never condemn it for the bad, just like their political party.

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